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Dexter Fowler will get a hit today - A Hunt a Peck

I believe in him and you should, too!

St. Louis Cardinals v New York Mets Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

The Cardinals have played in three games so far in the 2018 season. And guess what: Dexter Fowler is HITLESS so far. I know, right? Like, it has been fourteen plate appearances already. A no hits? You know that means, right? Time to...

Suddenly a brilliant beam of light pulses, followed by a gust of air that throws me backwards onto the ground. Someone that looks a lot like me appears from the light, pulls me up by my shirt and then smacks me right in the face.

“What was that for? Who are you?”

She smacks me again.

“The first one was so that you would get a grip. The second was because I will never get another chance to do this again and I wanted to make it count. As for who I am, well that answer is obvious. I am you, Scooter.”

“You are... me?” I ask, quickly putting my hands up in preparation for another smack.

“Yes, you. I am you in the future. In the future someone developed time travel and every person on earth is given one ration. And before you get smart, no, we are not going to dive into the metaphysical ramifications of time travel and all that entails.”

“Fine. Then why are you here, uh... Future Scooter? What is gonna happen?”

“First of all - look, my phone automatically connected to our WiFi!”

“That is hilarious!”

“Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah - Dexter Fowler is going to get a hit today - April 2, 2018. You cannot write that panicked article about him not having a hit yet. You will look like a fool.”



“But sensationalist writing captures reader attention and earns The Almighty Click.”

She smacks me again.

“Shut up. And never speak like that again.”

“Fine,” I say, rubbing my face, “But do you really think this was the best use of our time travel ration? Why didn’t you go back and stop us from -”

“Shut up! We still never speak of that! Now I have to go. I will not see you again until, well, you know. But before I go, what are you not gonna do?”

“I am not gonna freak out over fourteen plate appearances.”

“Excellent. Goodbye, lil me.”


I believe in Dexter Fowler!

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Tweet or e-mail me links @lil_scooter93 or at lil_scooter93 AT msn DOT com!