Tommy Pham closed his front door behind him and gently threw his keys on the end table to his right with a sigh, the type of sigh one exhales after a long day, the ones the pull all the tension held between the shoulder blades and expels it into the the air like vapor. It had been a good day for Tommy. That sigh was well-earned. He flipped the light switch to turn on the living room light. That was when he saw them.
He opened his mouth to speak, but the man in his recliner spoke first.
“Do not be alarmed, Thomas,” he said, “Do you know who we are?”
Tommy squinted, for his vision was not the best. “Uhhhh...”
“Is he serious?” the stranger on his couch said to the man in the recliner.
“Wait, look, you look familiar! I just... the lighting and -”
“You do not even recognize this guy?” the man on the couch said, pointing to a man in the room that had not spoken yet. “He played in St. Louis for thirteen seasons, man,” he pointed to the man in the recliner, “Or this man? He is a Hall of Famer,” he pointed to the last man, “Or this guy? He played professional football and baseball!”
“Look, you break into my apartment, scare the life outta me... I’m tired, I just wanna sit down and watch some TV before I go to sleep. And now you yell at me because I don’t know who you are? No, this isn’t gonna happen - y’all need to go.”
“That is enough,” another man said in commanding tenor, “Fernando, your rookie season was twenty years ago. Mine was twenty-seven. Of course he does not recognize the other members of the Cardinals 20/20 Club.”
“Wait, is that Lou Brock on my recliner?”
“It is, Tommy. And I am Ray Lankford. He is Fernando Tatis -”
“I hit two grand slams in the same inning... seriously nothing?”
“And these men are Reggie Sanders and Brian Jordan."
“See now that you have said who you are I totally see it.”
“It has been thirteen years since we have admitted a new member to the 20/20 club, Tommy. For awhile it had just been Lou by himself before I joined. Then Brian, Fernando, and Reggie were admitted. We are very pleased to welcome you, and present you with these.”
“These... are eyeglasses?” Tommy said with a furrow of his brow.
“It is because 20/20 - get it?” Tatis replied.
“Yeah, no, I get the reference. It is just, if I am 20/20, wouldn’t that mean I do not need glasses?”
“Look, do you want the glasses or not?”
“Just give me them. Am I supposed to wear these around now or what?”
“No, you just... uh,” Lankford scratched the back of head, “You just keep them. Sorry, we just haven’t done this in awhile. Frankly, we thought the days of Cardinals players stealing twenty bases were over so we are pretty unprepared.”
“Well... thanks. This is... quite an honor,” Tommy said, gesturing to the former players with his new eyeglasses.
The men stood in silence for awhile. Finally Ray Lankford cleared his throat.
“Well, we are gonna go. Umm... enjoy the glasses. Keep up the good work.”
And with an awkward pat on the shoulder to the new 20/20 member, each retired player left. Tommy stood in his living room, alone, holding a pair of eyeglasses.
“How did they even get in here?” he said to himself as he rubbed his temples and locked the deadbolt on the front door.
what else is going on in baseball...
- The Indians and the greatest streaks in MLB history. | Sports on Earth
- The Indians are the story of September baseball. | Sports on Earth
- The Windians Aren’t Going Away | FanGraphs Baseball
- The Indians’ winning streak needs to reach 26 to be a record | SBNation.com
- 2017 Fringe Five: Summary and Results and Discussion | FanGraphs Baseball
- Breaking Down Where the Wins Have Come From | FanGraphs Baseball
- It's hard to be a legit two-way player in MLB. | Sports on Earth
- MLB playoffs 2017: Cardinals-Cubs, Dodgers-Nationals highlight weekend schedule | SBNation.com
- A fan might regret promising the Phillies nuggets if Rhys Hoskins homers | SBNation.com
- Dear second AL Wild Card team, we wish you luck | ESPN
- Person familiar with matter to AP: MLB review of umpire hit | 101Sports.com
what the cardinals are up to...
- Have the Cardinals Found the New J.D. Martinez? | FanGraphs Baseball
- Ortiz: Carlos Martinez leads 'united' Cardinals into showdown series | Jose de Jesus Ortiz | stltoday.com
- Electric Bats Are Powering the Cardinals' Second-Half Surge | 101Sports.com
KNOW THINE ENEMY...
the chicago cubs
- Cubs complete sweep of Mets with rout | MLB.com
- Anthony Rizzo, the Chicago Cubs' overlooked MVP | Chicago Cubs Blog | ESPN
- On The Horizon: Cubs vs. Cardinals series preview | Bleed Cubbie Blue
- Series preview: Cardinals at Cubs | St. Louis Cardinals | stltoday.com
- POISON IVY | Derrick Goold: Bird Land | stltoday.com
- Cardinals should destroy the Cubs | Viva El Birdos
the nl central
- Joey Votto is on the cusp of something he’s never done before | Red Reporter
- Brewers name Jeremy Jeffress 'starter' for opener against Marlins | Brew Crew Ball
viva el stuff...
An Extremely Flawed Simulation | Viva El Birdos
2018 Cards | Viva El Birdos
Exactly 5 Words: Remaining Schedule | Viva El Birdos
Trevor Rosenthal's Path Just Got Trickier | Viva El Birdos
- VEB Podcast #97: The September playoffs have begun | Viva El Birdos
- Ex-St. Louis police officer Jason Stockley found not guilty of murder | Law and order | stltoday.com
- WNBA semifinals: Candace Parker thrives in spotlight as Sparks beat Mercury | SBNation.com
Tweet or e-mail me links @lil_scooter93 or at lil_scooter93 AT msn DOT com!