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Tommy Pham Cardinals first 20/20 player since Reggie Sanders - A Hunt and Peck

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Twenty steals! Twenty taters!

Cincinnati Reds v St Louis Cardinals Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images

Tommy Pham closed his front door behind him and gently threw his keys on the end table to his right with a sigh, the type of sigh one exhales after a long day, the ones the pull all the tension held between the shoulder blades and expels it into the the air like vapor. It had been a good day for Tommy. That sigh was well-earned. He flipped the light switch to turn on the living room light. That was when he saw them.

He opened his mouth to speak, but the man in his recliner spoke first.

“Do not be alarmed, Thomas,” he said, “Do you know who we are?”

Tommy squinted, for his vision was not the best. “Uhhhh...”

“Is he serious?” the stranger on his couch said to the man in the recliner.

“Wait, look, you look familiar! I just... the lighting and -”

“You do not even recognize this guy?” the man on the couch said, pointing to a man in the room that had not spoken yet. “He played in St. Louis for thirteen seasons, man,” he pointed to the man in the recliner, “Or this man? He is a Hall of Famer,” he pointed to the last man, “Or this guy? He played professional football and baseball!”

“Look, you break into my apartment, scare the life outta me... I’m tired, I just wanna sit down and watch some TV before I go to sleep. And now you yell at me because I don’t know who you are? No, this isn’t gonna happen - y’all need to go.”

“That is enough,” another man said in commanding tenor, “Fernando, your rookie season was twenty years ago. Mine was twenty-seven. Of course he does not recognize the other members of the Cardinals 20/20 Club.”

“Wait, is that Lou Brock on my recliner?”

“It is, Tommy. And I am Ray Lankford. He is Fernando Tatis -”

“I hit two grand slams in the same inning... seriously nothing?”

“And these men are Reggie Sanders and Brian Jordan."

“See now that you have said who you are I totally see it.”

“It has been thirteen years since we have admitted a new member to the 20/20 club, Tommy. For awhile it had just been Lou by himself before I joined. Then Brian, Fernando, and Reggie were admitted. We are very pleased to welcome you, and present you with these.”

“These... are eyeglasses?” Tommy said with a furrow of his brow.

“It is because 20/20 - get it?” Tatis replied.

“Yeah, no, I get the reference. It is just, if I am 20/20, wouldn’t that mean I do not need glasses?”

“Look, do you want the glasses or not?”

“Just give me them. Am I supposed to wear these around now or what?”

“No, you just... uh,” Lankford scratched the back of head, “You just keep them. Sorry, we just haven’t done this in awhile. Frankly, we thought the days of Cardinals players stealing twenty bases were over so we are pretty unprepared.”

“Well... thanks. This is... quite an honor,” Tommy said, gesturing to the former players with his new eyeglasses.

The men stood in silence for awhile. Finally Ray Lankford cleared his throat.

“Well, we are gonna go. Umm... enjoy the glasses. Keep up the good work.”

And with an awkward pat on the shoulder to the new 20/20 member, each retired player left. Tommy stood in his living room, alone, holding a pair of eyeglasses.

“How did they even get in here?” he said to himself as he rubbed his temples and locked the deadbolt on the front door.

Tommy Pham of the Cardinals joins 20/20 club, with more MLB players set to join him | SBNation.com

Pham's a 20-20 man, Weaver wins fifth in a row | Cardinal Beat | stltoday.com

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