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SUMMARY OF CARDINAL GAMES 2022

"I'll tell you what stat I will be paying attention to: WINS. You can take all your talk of walk rates and OPS and ISO (whatever the heck that is!) and stick it where the sun don't shine. There's only one stat that matters at the end of the day and that is wins. You don't win, none of that stuff means anything. So do me a favor and spare me your fancy schmancy statistical analysis--leave that stuff to the nerds with their nerdy nerdness. All that matters, and you should probably write this down seeing as how you've somehow forgotten what's important here, is wins...." --Nate De Graaf's Grandpa, April 11, 2022

My game summaries are a quantification of the winning point of view quoted above. For each win, position players earn stars based on their individual success in helping to score one more run than the opposing team (all insurance runs are irrelevant to the win). For pitchers (and position players who make extraordinary plays), stars are awarded based on how many outs they get in wins. For losses, no stars are awarded to any players, only "black marks". Some day, I will get around to adding up all the stars and black marks in preparation for an award ceremony at Jupiter (the planet, not the training facility).


April 7: WAINO AND YADI GUN DOWN THE PIRATES IN OPENER
GAME 1 SUMMARY
Cards 9 Pirates 0
Defense: It took 27 outs to win. Not counting ordinary defense, who got them? Waino (17), Molina, strike em out, throw em out (1), Helsley (3), Cabrera (3), Gallegos (3). Each player earns a star.
Offense: It took only 1 run to win. In 1st, Carlson double to left, Goldschmidt walk, O'Neill ground-ball single past second base. Each player earns a star. The subsequent 8 runs contributed nothing to the win.

APRIL 9: MIKOLAS AND TOP OF THE ORDER SINK THE PIRATE SHIP
GAME 2 SUMMARY
Cards 6 Pirates 2
Defense: It took 27 outs to win. Not counting ordinary defense, who got them? Mikolas (11),Whitley(4), Wittgen (2), McFarland (3), Helsley (4), Gallegos (3). Each player earns a star.
Offense: It took only 3 runs to win the game. Who got them? In 1st, Carlson leadoff single, stolen base, Arenado rbi double. In 3rd, Goldy single, O'Neill grounder advances runner, Arenado rbi single. PDJ homer scores Nolan. Each player earns a star. The subsequent two runs not needed.

April 10: MATZ LETS THE BUCCOS RAISE THE JOLLY ROGER
GAME 3 SUMMARY
Pirates 9 Cards 4
Defense: We lost because we gave up more runs than we scored. The critical runs were given up as follows: Matz (5). Subsequent runs did not matter. Matz shares the loss with no other pitchers or fielders. He gets a black mark.
Offense: We lost because we made 27 outs before we could score more runs than they scored. Unproductive outs were distributed as follows: Dickerson (4), Molina (4), Goldie (4), Bader (3), O'Neill (3), Arenado (3), DeJong (3), Edman (1), Carlson (0). These players each deserve black marks.

April 12: PUJOLS REMINDS US WHO HE IS.
GAME 4 SUMMARY
Cards 6 KC 5
Defense: Cards win by getting 27 outs before KC could score 6. Who got the outs? Hudson (11), Edman--great play at 2nd-- (1), Hicks (6), Wittgen (3), Cabrera (3), Gallegos (3). Each player earns a proportionate share of the win.
Offense: Cards win by scoring one more than KC. In the 1st, TON single, Nolan homer, Pujols homer. In the 3rd,nPujols single, Edman single, Knizner homer. Each player earns a star (Albert gets 2).

April 14: WONG PUNISHES HIS FORMER TEAM
GAME 5 SUMMARY
Brewers 5 Cards 1
Defense: Cards lose because Waino gives up a run to Wong in the first and a homer to Narvaes in the second. That's all that mattered. Waino takes the loss all by himself. He gets a black mark.
Offense: Cards lose because they could not score 6 runs before they made 27 outs. Unproductive plate appearances were as follows: Carlson (4), O'Neill (4), DeJong (4), Goldie (3), Arenado (3), Pujols (2). Bader (2), Molina (2), Edman (1). These players get black marks.

April 15: MIKOLAS PITCHES A GEM IN BEER BLOWOUT
GAME 6 SUMMARY
Cards 10 Brewers 1
Defense: Cards win because they got 27 outs before the Brewers could score 11 runs. The outs were obtained as follows: Mikolas (20), Wittgen (1), Pallante (6), Each pitcher shares proportionately in the win.
Offense: Cards win because they scored two runs. In 1st, TON double to left, Nolan walk, Bader two rbi single to center. Each player gets a star. The subsequent 8 runs didn't matter.

APRIL 16: MATZ AND BULLPEN SUBDUE THE BREWCREW
GAME 7 SUMMARY
Cards 2 Brewers 1
Defense: Cardinals win by getting 27 outs before the Brewcrew can score 2 runs. The outs were made as follows: Matz (17), Helsley(1), Cabrera (5) Gallegos (4). Each pitcher earns a proportional share of the win.
Offense: Cardinals win by scoring one more run than the Brewers. In the 4th, O'Neill BB, Arenado BB, DeJong rbi double; in the 8th, Arenado double, Dickerson rbi single. TON, PDJ, and Corey earn stars; Nolan gets 2!

April 17: MCFARLAND AND VERHAGEN FAIL TO BOTTLE THE BEERS
GAME 8 SUMMARY
Brewers 6 Cardinals 5
Defense: Cards lose because the pitching staff gave up 6 runs as follows: Hudson (3), McFarland (1), VerHagan (2). Officially, McFarland's run belongs to Hudson, but screw that, he walked the run in. Each pitcher gets a proportionate share of the loss.
Offense: Cards lose because they made 27 outs before they could score 6 runs. Unproductive plate appearances were as follows: Carlson (4), Goldie (4), Knizer(4), TON (3), Edman (3), PDJ (3), Arenado (2), Pujols (2), Bader (1), Dickerson (1). Each player gets a proportionate share of the loss and an apropriate number of black marks.

April 19: WAINO GEM IN MIAMI
GAME 9 SUMMARY
Cards 5 Marlins 1
Defense. Outs: Waino (17), McFarland (3), Helsley (4), Gallegos (3). Each pitcher earns a proportional share of the win.
Offense: In 2nd, Albert Pujols doubles to right. Paul DeJong doubles to left. Albert Pujols scores. Yadier Molina reaches on error to second. Paul DeJong scores on error. That is all the runs we needed. No subsequent runs mattered. Albert and DeJong earn offensive star of the game points.

April 20: NOLAN DINGER IN THE NINTH HOOKS THE MARLINS
Game 10 SUMMARY
Cards 2 Marlins 0
Defense: Mikolas gem. Outs: Mikolas (15), Pallante (6), Cabrera (3), Gallegos (3). All earn game stars.
Offense: Nolan homer off Soler's glove drives in TON in the 9th. Arenado and O'Neill get stars.

April 21: CARDS BATTERS HAVE HANGOVERS FROM MIAMI PARTY AND FORGET TO SHOW UP FOR GAME
GAME 11 SUMMARY
Marlins 5 Cards 0
Defense: Hicks gives up a run on fielder's choice in 2nd. That is all the runs that Miami needed. Hicks takes the loss and a black mark.
Offense: Zip. Unproductive plate appearances were as follows: Goldy (4), O'Neill (4), Carlson (3),DeJong (3), Bader (3), Molina (2), Edman (3), Pujols (3), Nootbar (1). Lots of black marks.

April 22: MATZ ( AND TOMMY PHAM ) COME THROUGH FOR THE CARDS
GAME 12 SUMMARY
Cards 4 Cincy 2
Defense: The 27 out were made as follows: Nolan (1) (great play in 3rd inning), Matz (14), Wiigen (3), Helsley (4), Cabrera (2), Gallegos (3). Each player earns their stars.
Offense: Tommy Pham give his former team a gift run. Goldy single scores Carlson in 1st. In the 4th, another Goldy single to left scores Nootbar and Sosa. That is all the runs needed. Each player earns a star. Goldy gets two.

April 23:BADER STEALS THE SHOW
GAME 13 SUMMARY
Cards 5 Cincy 0
Defense: Hudson (9), Pallante (4), Whitley (3), Bader (1) --great throw nails Lopez at 3rd.
Offense: In 2nd, Bader walks, Bader steals second, Knizner singles to scores Bader. That was all the runs needed. Bader gets 2 stars and Knizner gets one. The subsequent runs proved to be irrelevant to the win.

April 24: WAINO COMES OUT FLAT AGAINST THE WORST TEAM IN BASEBALL
GAME 14 SUMMARY
Cincy 4 Cards 1
Defense: Waino gives up 2 runs in the first inning. Nothing else mattered as the Cards could only score one. Wainwright gets a black mark.
Offense: Cards made 27 outs before they were able to catch up. Unproductive plate appearances were as follows: Molina (4), Arenado (4), Edman (4), Sosa (3), Carlson (3), O'Neill (2), Bader (1), Dickerson (1). All get black marks.

April 25: THE GREAT GALLEGOS MELTDOWN (OR HOW TO BLOW A 97.1% WIN EXPECTANCY).
GAME 15 SUMMARY
Mets 5 Cards 2
Defense: The Cards lost by letting the Mets score in the ninth. The critical runs were given up by an Arenado throwing error, by Gallegos giving up a double, and then a double "error" by Gallegos not covering first on a grounder and then allowing a runner from second to score on the play. Gallegos gets two black marks, Nolan gets one.
Offense: The Cards lost because they needed to score more runs before they made 27 outs. Unproductive plate appearances were as follows: Arenado, Dickerson, Carlson, Sosa (4 each); Edman, Bader,O'Neill (3 each); Molina (2); Goldy (1). Black marks are distributed accordingly.

April 26: BASSITT HOUNDS THE CARDS INTO TOTAL SUBMISSION
GAME 16 SUMMARY April 26
Mets 3 Cards 0
Defense: Hicks coughs up a run in the third on two doubles. The Mets only needed that one to beat the impotent Cards. Hicks takes a big black mark. The rest of the runs given up were irrelevant. Not irrelevant was the Whitley beanball in the 8th which broke Pete Alonso's helmet. See April 27 game.
Offense: Zippo. Especially uproductive useless bats were accomplished as follows: O'Neill and Goldy (Ks in the 8th with a runner on) Carlson (DP grounder in 4th with no outs) . Each will receive their black marks.


April 27: CARDS BEAT THE METS ON THE FIELD AND IN THE ALLEY. [ Hockey reference ]
GAME 17 SUMMARY
Cards 10 Mets 5
Defense: The 27 needed outs were obtained as follows: Matz (12), Woodford (6), Cabrera (6), Helsly(3). Honorable mention for defense goes to Coach Stubby Clap, the Cardinal's "enforcer" on the field.
Offense: With 2 down in the 1st, TON safe on error, Arenado single, Dickerson rbi single. In the 3rd, Edman single, Goldschmidt single, TON moves the runners, Arenado 2 rbi single. In the 4th, Yadi double, Sosa gets beaned, Edman rbi double, Nolan IBB (stupid move by Showalter), Sosa scores on wild pitch, Dickerson rbi infield hit. That provided the 6 runs we needed. The remaining runs did not matter, nor did the beanball that Lopez threw at Arenado presumably for retaliation for the non-beanball that Cabrera threw at Davis but was really retaliation for the Whitley beaner of Pete Alonso in the April 26 game.

April 28: BADER AND YADI RATTLE THE SNAKES WITH SMALL BALL WHILE HUDSON DOMINATES
GAME 18 SUMMARY
Cards 8 D-Backs 3
Defense: It took 27 outs to win. Not counting ordinary defense, who got them? Outs were as follows: Hudson (17), Brooks (8), Wittgen (1), Bader (1)--spectacular catch in 3rd as he bounced off center field wall. Each player will obtain their stars.
Offense: Cards win by scoring one more than KC. In the 1st, Edman walk, Goldy single, TON sac fly, Arenado single, Dickerson sac fly. In the 2nd, Bader single, Yadi moves him to 3rd on ground out, PDJ hit by pitch, Edman rbi single, Goldy rbi single. Lots of stars required to get the small ball runs we needed. Yadi gets a special star and a standing ovation for a steal of 2nd off Martin.

April 29: CARDS GET BUMGARNER'D
GAME 19 SUMMARY
D-backs 6 Cards2
Defense: Waino pitches six innings but gave up the 3 winning runs. He takes the loss and another black mark.
Offense: Black markto Goldy for K in 7th leaving runners on second and third; Memorable moment was a balk by the D-backs that actually hurt the Cards by taking a walk away from PDJ which would have loaded the bases for the top of the order with only 1 out in the 7th. PDJ flied out instead, halting a comeback, and earning yet another black mark.

April 30: MIKOLAS GETS SNAKE BIT (TWICE) IN THE 8TH
GAME 20 SUMMARY
D-backs 2 Cards 0
Defense: Mikolas pitches 7 shut-out innings but loses to M. Kelly who does the same. Mikolas takes the loss and a very undeserved black mark. Why Marmol left Mikolas in after the first home run mystified VEB.
Offense: Cards get two hits, no runs. Especially useless plate appearances were as follows: O'Neill K in the 9th with one on and no outs; Carlson K in 7th leaving two on base. Each player gets a black mark.

Overall, the Cardinals won 11 of 20 games in April, putting them 3 games behind the Brewers in the central, and 1 game out of a wildcard spot. But the season is young and the team is on track to win 89, exceeding expectations.

May 1 BADER COME-FROM-BEHIND HOMER AND HELSLEY 103 MPH HEAT SMOKE THE D-BACKS
Game 21 Summary
Cards 7 D-backs 5
Defense: Outs were obtained as follows: Hicks(10), Pallante (5), Wittgen (3), Cabrera (2), Whitley (1), Helsley(6). Each shares in the win proportionately.
Offense: In the 3rd, Knizner single, Edman walk, error scores a run, TON beats out double play for an rbi. In the 6th, TON double, Pujols rbi single. In the 7th, Knizner single, PDJ double, Donovan dribbles in a run, Bader 2-run homer. All players mentioned receive game stars. Nolan homers in an insurance run but it did not matter because Helsley smoked the D-backs with 103 mph pitches for a two-inning save.



May 2 MATZ AND GOLDY BEAT THE RAIN AND THE ROYALS
GAME 22 SUMMARY
Cards 1 Royals 0
Defense: The required 27 outs were obtained as follows: TON (1) diving catch in 6th, Matz (17), Whitley (3), Wittgren (3), Gallegos (3). Each get their game stars.
Offense: In the first, Goldy homer. Game over. Goldschmidt gets the game star.



May 3 CARDS GET BABIPed IN KANSAS CITY
GAME 23 SUMMARY
KC 7 Cards1
Defense: It only took 2 runs to beat us and Hudson coughed them up. He takes the loss.
Offense: Paul DeJong grounded into a double play with two on in the 7th, destroying the only chance the Cards had to get back into this game. He gets a black mark.


May 4 THE YEPEZ DOUBLE DOUBLE DEBUT
GAME 24 SUMMARY
Cards 10 KC 0
Defense: Waino yields 1 hit in 7 innings. The other outs were made as follows: McFarland (3), Packy(3).
Offense: In 1st before the game thread even comes on: Edman Walk, Goldy walk, Nolan HR, Yepez double, TON triple, Bader sac fly. All the runs we needed and then some. Yepez doubles again later in his MLB debut.


May 5 MOLINA SLAYS THE GIANTS
Game 25 Summary
Cards 7 SF 1
Defense: Mikolas gets 17 outs with a lot of help from his fielders, especially PDJ at shortstop and Bader in center. Pallante (4 outs) comes in with bags loaded in the 6th and puts out the fire. Wittgen (3 outs) and Whitley (3 outs) come in to close it out.
Offense: Molina homers in the 3rd, singles, advances to 2nd on Carlson single, to 3rd on PDJ dribbler,and scores on Edman single in 5th. That is all the runs we needed.



May 6 CARDS SCORE 9th INNING RUN TO WIN IN FOGGY SAN FRANCISCO
Game 26 Summary
Cards 3 SF 2
Defense. The 27 outs were made by Hicks (13), Cabrera (6), Helsley (5), Gallegos (3). Helsley was impressive. A TON throw and a Edman-PDJ DP completethe save.
Offense: In the 5th, Dickerson single, Bader homer; in the 9th Yepez double, Carlson rbi single.


May 7 CARDS GET BUSTERED BY SF HOMERS ON POSEY DAY.
Game 27 Summary
SF 13 CARDS 7
Defense: Matz gives up 8 runs on three HRS in two innings. He takes the loss all by himself. Dishonorable mention for fielding go to run-yielding misplays by Arenado, PDJ, and Molina.
Offense. The Cards tried to come back.Good efforts by PDJ, Yepez, DeJong, Bader, Carlson. No black marks.


May 8 YAZ SAC AND THEN SPLASH SINK CARDS ON MOM'S DAY IN FRISCO
GAME 28 SUMMARY
SF 4 Cards 3
Defense: Hudson gives up 3 runs, Cabrera 1. They share the loss.
Offense. Yepez (HR), Goldy, Carlson get a couple hits each. Rest of offense receive black marks.


May 10 BATTLE OF THE BIRDS ENDS BADLY
Game 29 Summary
Orioles 5 Cards 3
Defense: Packy gives up 2 homers, 3 runs. Whitley gives up another run. That's all they needed.
Offense: Bader hit an inside-the-park homer and Donovan flies one out to right. But DP grounders by Molina, Carlson, Molina (they get black marks) and 11 K's by Oriole rookie Bradish and Bautista smoke derail any rallies.