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Rooting for baseball teams not named the Cardinals is a difficult thing for me. I can always think of a reason to root against a team. Rarely are there teams who aren’t objectionable in the slightest. We may very well have one of those teams in the playoffs right now, although whether they advance to the LCS is another matter. When it comes to winning the World Series, I have a lot of trouble rooting for a specific team. I end up focusing on matchups - well “this team isn’t as bad as the other one” tends to be my philosophy.
Why do I have trouble rooting for teams? Well, allow me to share my points against teams. I am against rooting for dynasties and for teams with absurd payrolls. I am against cheap teams. I am against teams that have players I don’t like on them. I am also against teams that really don’t “deserve” to win the World Series. I also don’t like certain fanbases. So.... you can see how I eliminated just about every team, right?
I am fully aware of some of the contradictions in my rooting interests. Don’t ask me to explain, I’m not consciously choosing to feel this way, it just emanates from my soul. I don’t like rooting for Goliath, but if David is David because they don’t spend money, well I can’t really root for them either. The teams that most “deserve” - at least by quality of the players on the team - tends to be the dynastic teams, and yet I’m not really for the less deserving either - that kind of luck makes me jealous. So here is my ranking of teams to root for - complete with reasons for and against that team.
Why you should root for them:
The Mariners certainly hit that middle ground of neither being a cheap team nor a high payroll team. In fact, they might be on the lower side of payroll for teams I wouldn’t call cheap. Their payroll is at $117 million, but they’ve locked up some of their young players. Including arbitration, they’re at $110 million for next year, and without arbitration, they’re at $101 million in 2024. Their payroll is likely to rise. They avoid being “cheap.”
They are also a fun team. They have a fairly likable team led by a young star in Julio Rodriguez. Their fanbase has had the appropriate amount of suffering, not being in the playoffs since 2001. In their 45 seasons as a franchise, 30 of them have been losing seasons. They are the only team to have never even made a World Series. I mean come on.
Why you should root against them
Some of us are former Rams fans (some of you weirdos still are), and remember the annoyingness of the “12th man.” Kind of similar to the “Best Fans in Baseball” thing actually. Well, these are the same fans. This is very thin. Also, personally, it kind of rubs me the wrong way how everyone nationally is extremely sympathetic to Seattle for losing the Supersonics, and not even a little about St. Louis losing the Rams. Not Seattle’s fault, they’re just caught in the crossfire. It says how little I have that I mostly have to focus on other sports in this one.
(Big gap)
Why you should root for them
Truth be told, I had no idea their payroll was as high as it was. I guess my issue is less with high payrolls than the dynasty thing. Anyway, the Phillies really went for it. I do appreciate that. Also I’d like for Bryce Harper to win a ring. He left Washington and they won a ring a year later. He wasn’t the reason, though a few fans assuredly would try to claim that as a reason and I’d like that to die. Kyle Gibson went to Mizzou and Edmundo Sosa is a former Cardinal to root for. Jean Segura has paid his dues as this is his first postseason in his 11th season. Aaron Nola has also never made a postseason, through no fault of his own.
Also, if you’re into this, losing to the team who ends up winning makes losing feeling like “fate.” If they lose to the Braves, well the Cardinals could have done that. Also them winning would really reveal the sham that is the MLB playoff tournament.
Why you should root against them
Their fans. Maybe it’s years of watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but I actually don’t really have a beef with them. The article on The Good Phight that implied Albert Pujols took steroids in his last season sure left a bad taste in my mouth though. I don’t think I could take the narrative if Sosa actually has a great postseason, I’ll be honest. The voices will be loud and then nobody will talk about him when he’s mediocre or worse in future years. This is way too common of a cycle for former Cardinals. Lastly, the Phillies really aren’t that great of a team. Tough to root for a team that shouldn’t be anywhere near a World Series.
Why you should root for them
It would kind of send a good message for baseball if a team that went balls out to win it, that left absolutely nothing in the tank, ended up getting rewarded for it. We want less of the tear down and rebuild and maybe a less extreme version of what the Padres did, but more of that. Yu Darvish is awesome. They could be the team that ends the Dodgers’ season which would instantly make them more root-worthy.
Why you should root against them
I don’t like that they seem to represent the “fun” aspect of baseball. Like if you’re against them, you don’t like fun. Manny Machado is not likable in the slightest, though he seems to have matured. Fernando Tatis Jr.? Not super likable. Josh Hader? Yeah don’t really like him. Sort of feels like the media is trying to force feed the rest of baseball into liking the Padres and it’s sort of having the opposite effect on me. I don’t know if this is just the contrarian side of me or what.
4. Cleveland Guardians
Why you should root for them
In the fun category, they certainly qualify. I believe they are the youngest team in the league in fact and they certainly have the underdog quality about them. From a stats point of view, I really love that a player like Steven Kwan exists. I picked up Andres Gimenez as a free agent in fantasy expecting him to be someone I dropped soon after and well, then he became an All-Star. Yeah nobody cares about my fantasy team, but I literally know nothing about the Guardians. I have no real opinion of them. Oh yeah, and talk about long suffering fans, this city has had it ROUGH in the sports department.
Why you should root against them
They are so, so, so, so, so, so cheap. Their payroll is quite a bit lower than the Tampa Bay Rays! They had a $140 million payroll in 2018, then $124, then $99 million, then $51 million. It’s up to $69 million this year, but they have basically been “competing” this whole time. There’s not really even a rebuild excuse. They’ve used the pandemic to shed a lot of their salary. Just on principle, I find it difficult to root for a team to get rewarded for this.
(Big gap)
Why you should root for them
Matt Carpenter and Harrison Bader. Carpenter technically has a ring already, but he had 19 total plate appearances and wasn’t in the 2011 clubhouse during any of the playoff games. So he more or less hasn’t actually experienced a championship. And neither has Bader. Basically two Cardinal fan favorites here who I would like to see get a ring. It doesn’t exactly trump the whole Yankees stink to it, but it’s why they’re as high as 5th. Also I do like they basically kicked Aroldis Chapman off their team, makes the 2022 team specifically more likable.
Why you should root against them
It’s the freaking Yankees. Don’t get caught in the trap of rooting for them, because if there’s ever a be careful what you wish for situation, it’s rooting for them. Because yeah they haven’t won since 2009, that’s a long time in baseball years, but also they probably have a chance next year and the year after that and the year after that and you get it. Their fans. Chapman will still get a ring if they win. And it’s still the team that signed Chapman. Josh Donaldson is pretty hateable too let’s be honest. If ever a player represented the Yankees brand, Donaldson sure fits the bill. And yeah Yankees fans don’t like him either. And I don’t like “stand on top of the plate, then complain when he gets hit” Anthony Rizzo either. And IT’S THE YANKEES that’s all you really need.
(another big gap)
Why you should root for them
Trey Mancini will win a ring which is really cool. In the cool stat department, Framber Valdez is really posting some absurd groundballs numbers while still striking out hitters, that’s extremely rare. In fact, I don’t think anybody has done what he’s doing historically. Though injured, Michael Brantley’s hitting stats are very aesthetically pleasing. Also Yordan Alvarez doesn’t have a ring yet.
Why you should root against them
You have no idea how much I hate that they’re as high as 6th. It’s not that they stole signs, although that’s not great. I also hated their response to it over the offseason and the next year. I also feel like they kind of got a light punishment in the literal sense and also from the fans since the pandemic ruined other teams ability to boo them. You can also blame Jeff Luhnow and the Astros for popularizing tanking. And definitely worse than everything before, they signed Roberto Osuna after play-acting like they cared about character, and then one of their executives, Brandon Taubman, taunted female reporters about it when they won Game 6 of the ALCS in 2019. Terrible front office culture that I’m skeptical has completely gone away. The fact that most of my complaints are from three years or more ago is the only thing making them this high.
7. Los Angeles Dodgers
Why you should root for them
They are the best team. As much as I don’t like dynasties, it is kind of cool when the actual best team can still win in a tournament style system. Also some people don’t really give them credit for their one championship because it happened in the shortened season. Any team but the Dodgers honestly, and I might discredit it, but they were best team then too. It would be extremely funny if Joey Gallo won a ring after getting dumped by the Yankees. I like Mookie Betts.
Why you should root against them
Much like the Yankees, it’s very dangerous to root for them because they’ll likely be in the same position year after year. Los Angeles fans deserve no happiness whatsoever. Justin Turner has made himself into a surprisingly unlikable guy. This feels like a “good year” for them to not win it all because their rotation is really not scary and I’m pretty sure they will construct scary rotations in the future. Feels like one of the easier years to imagine them not winning it is what I’m saying. Trayce Thompson, a 31-year-old with an 83 wRC+ in 640 PAs prior to joining the Dodgers, has a freaking 142 wRC+ with the Dodgers. This is ridiculous. They get high payrolls, good development and can make bad, established players good out of thin air. I hate it. (Not clear he’s actually good yet, still striking out 36% of the time, but still)
Why you should root for them
Truth be told, they are just about the perfect representation of how to build a good current and future team without having absurd resources. They still have a high payroll, but not on the levels of the giants. They lock up their young guys. They should be more likable than they are....
Why you should root against them
They had the double whammy of winning it all last year and being very lucky to do so. Yeah this is a well constructed roster, but they made a bunch of pickups of mediocre players and they all seemed to work out. People somehow complained about the Cardinals deadline moves in the past and pointed to the Braves as a counterexample.. but that’s exactly the kind of moves they complain the Cards were making! Eddie Rosario had a 182 wRC+ in the postseason last year.
Then of course there’s the Chop, and in my opinion, what really elevates them to last here is when I saw how Braves fans responded to Ryan Helsley in particular. Just absolutely disgusting stuff, a man shares his opinion of what he thinks of the Chop given his background, and instead of respecting his opinion, they absolutely hate him and take absolute joy and pleasure in not only not respecting it, but they want to shove it in his face. Between recently winning it and this, they may very well be my least favorite team right now.
Where Would Wild Cards teams place?
Cardinals would obviously be #1. I think the Blue Jays would rank below the Mariners and may even rank before that big gap. The Mets might be a tie with the Yankees, really don’t like rooting for either New York team. And the Rays....I’m going to choose not to rank them because it’s too difficult. Cheap, but for a better reason the Cleveland (in my opinion). But then there was the whole five Rays players not wearing a Pride Night logo thing, I realize that is their choice, I can also choose to not like them for doing that. Yeah I really can’t tell you where they’d rank and because they lost, I don’t have to!
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