A New Hall of Fame

lil_scooter93's Hunt and Peck today led to some side conversations between a few of us about Bonds and the Hall of Fame, and reminded me how aggravating I find Hall of Fame arguments.

At the same time, dayman unearthed something I had worked on a few years ago as my solution to HoF arguments. With a couple thoughts from others (h/t, ebo), I present my updated Hall of Fame floorplan. Note that this was developed several years ago based on the starting concept of Bill Simmons' Hall of Fame Pyramid that he suggests as a replacement for the current NBA Hall of Fame. I took that idea, and, uh, ran with it.

Revised Hall of Fame Floorplan

Any suggestive nature you find in this picture is a product of your own imagination and nothing else

The above image is intended as a prospective floor plan for a new Hall of Fame. Let's walk step by step through our sections. Most sections are named for someone who embodies it. A couple of our transitional rooms are named for a concept or a problem instead.

The Lou Brock Foyer

HoF visitors enter at the Lou Brock Foyer. The foyer, outlined in dashed lines, represents all of those players who really aren't Hall of Famers (sorry, Lou), but were really good at one particular thing and so notable that they deserve representation. Tim Wakefield and his knuckleball might make it in here too.

Next, we proceed to actual hall of famers.

Alex Rodriguez Steroid Wing

Let's get this out of the way now. Alex Rodriguez is a Hall of Famer. He's one of the best baseball players ever. Any Hall of Fame that omits him is crazy. But, at the same time, many think he has an asterisk on him. Fine. Let's put him in a wing with everyone else who we know is a steroid user and call them out for it.

Ty Cobb Asshole Wing

Same as above. Ty Cobb is one of the greatest baseball players ever. Also, a gigantic asshole. Tough to put him next to Willie Mays. Let's not.

Barry Bonds Steroid-Fueled Assholery Intersection

Both a steroid user and an asshole? Yep, we've got a place for you.

Bud Selig Was Bad Vestibule

Now that we've covered the steroid users, assholes, and both, let's take some time to think about how shitty Bud Selig was on our way to the "true" hall of famers.

Keep thinking about it.

Keep thinking about it some more. Also, your admission fee probably doubled retroactively as you walked through this area.

Jim Kaat Big Hall

Here we are. The "Big Hall." Is there really any distinguishing factors between this and the small hall? Nope; there aren't any walls. We've just put the more marginal players toward the outside, and the better players toward the inside. Out here, we have some guys like Jim Kaat, and maybe Kenny Lofton, but let's not argue about it.

Mike Schmidt Big Hall

As we walk toward the center of the room, the greats start showing up. There's Rickey Henderson, Yaz, and Jimmie Foxx.

Roberto Clemente Inner Sanctum

Finally, the greats of the greats (most of them, at least; unfortunately Roger Clemens was too much of an asshole to show up here). The Babe, Willie Mays, Stan Musial, Hank Aaron, Roberto Clemente occupy a place clustered toward the end of our walk through the hall; the true legends.

But, we've got a tiny bit left.

Racism Sucked Negro Leagues Corridor

Think about this as dessert. We've gone through the greatest MLB players ever. Now, we get to walk through those who should have been with them if we had lived in a righteous world. Satchel Paige, Josh Gibson, and more, occupying their own special hallowed halls.

And finally...

Jackie Robinson Meditation Garden

After a couple hours perusing the history of the league, only fitting to end in a quiet garden to think about one of the most courageous athletes of all time (who also happened to be an amazing ballplayer).

Now, wasn't that better than arguing whether Fred McGriff is a hall of famer or not?