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The Cardinals played the Brewers and something predictable happened - A Recap from June 15, 2017

yup.

MLB: Milwaukee Brewers at St. Louis Cardinals
[squints] Oh right. John. His first name is John.
Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

I am not staying up for extra innings. I refuse. I refuse, I refuse, I refuse. It is the bottom of the seventh and after this game finishes its nine requisite innings I am going to bed. Maybe I will update this recap in the morning with the events the transpired in the extra innings, which we all know this stupid game is destined to go into unless Matt Carpenter and Dexter Fowler continue their hot streaks and put something together.

It is just, we have seen this game before. This back-and-forth gritty game that somehow the Cardinals manage to lose. We will blame Mike Matheny for something and huff and puff, and be annoyed that the offense was unable to scrape together one run off the opposing team’s bullpen when they had every opportunity to do so. And it will be frustrating. I would rather sleep. Sleep is good.

Unless...

Unless this is a new story. One where the Cardinals storm back. The bullpen holds strong, weaves its way in and out of danger.*** And somehow the Cardinals keep coming back until they are there for good. I could go for that. Maybe stay up to see that. I like the Cardinals team that keeps it interesting. It could happen - that is how we have gotten to this point in the bottom of the seventh.

The before-mentioned Matt "Fire" Carpenter began the scoring for the Birdos in the bottom of the first. He led off the game with a double - his eleventh of the season -and scored on a Stephen Piscotty single. Piscotty then scored himself on an Aledmys Diaz single.

This lead was short-lived thanks to Keon Broxton obliterating a baseball in ways that should honestly be reserved for HBO. The sheer violence expounded on that baseball rivals any - SPOILERS - Game of Thrones - SPOILERS - ........................weddings.

And there was a man on base when said violence occurred, so the game was tied.

A combination of a single by Eric Sogard, a walk by Eric Thames (I see other teams are adopting the Cardinals former strategy of acquiring a bunch of players with the same first name), and a single by Domingo Santana led to another Brewers run to give the Brewers a one-run lead. Dexter Fowler evened it out in the bottom of the frame with a solo shot - his tenth of the year (all coming from the left side of the plate, apparently, for what it is worth).

The Brewers scored again somehow in the fifth after loading the bases with no outs. Matheny then called on grizzled reliever whose first name I have not learned yet [squints] John Brebbia. Somehow, Brebbia escaped with only the one run scored and let me tell you, it was something.

Oh right, I could tell you about it. Mostly what happened is with the bases loaded and no one out, Eric Thames tried to score from second on a single by Travis Shaw and was out by, like, a lot. The Cardinals sure knew what they were doing sending Maloney over to the Brewers to be their new third base coach (I am just teasing. Chris Maloney seems like a nice man and I hope all is well for him). THENNNNN the Brewers tried to score on a safety squeeze play with fifth-place hitter Hernan Perez. That was also unsuccessful as game-tested reliever whose first name I have forgotten yet again [squints] John Brebbia, of course, fielded the ball and threw the runner out at the plate by like, a lot.

Matt "Fire" Carpenter to the rescue again, though. He led off the bottom of the frame with double - his twelve of the year - and scored shortly after on a Dexter Fowler single. Cool.

Anyway all this back-and-forth scoring all but guarantees this stupid game will go scoreless until about the fifteenth inning. And like I said, I am not staying up for it. Nope. I will not.

WELP.

The Cardinals got Thames’d. A two-run shot in the top of the ninth off Seung Hwan Oh. Dagger. Ball game. Goodnight, folks.

here, you nerds



stray thoughts:

  • There were about forty-seven double plays this game
  • If you could travel at the speed of light, you could go around the Earth 7.5 times in one second, which is about as far as that Broxton home run was hit
  • Fifty-three years ago the Cardinals traded Earnie Broglio for Lou Brock
  • ***HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOL

Tomorrow the Cardinals will face the... oh wow, the Orioles. Carlos Martinez faces off against Kevin Gausman in Camden Yards at 6:05p.m. CST.