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Cardinals fall to Brewers and their stupid home run slide - A Recap from April 20, 2017

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(It is not really a stupid slide, I am just saying that because I am jealous)

St Louis Cardinals Photo Day Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Act I

Enter Cardinals

All: This Brewer team is fierce, but so are we
And though we find ourselves behind right now
We are brave and strong and fight valiantly
We shall change our fate

Kolten Wong: I’ll lead ye commrades!
Through the strength of my bat the odds even
[hits triple]
‘Tis not over! ‘Tis not over! Make haste!
The tables have turned, there is no time to waste.

Act II

Matthew the Carpenter: Waste no time, I shall. I see Wong’s triple
And better it one. Watch me, countrymen.
We shall win today if I have my say!


Eric of Thames: For years, I hath toiled in Japan, waiting.
Wait - actually it was Korea
Either way, I hath toiled and toiled
Waiting for my destiny. Now it’s here.
Crowds shout my name, pitchers cower with fear.
A blast. A blast. Over the wall it goes.
For I cannot be stopped, that everyone knows.
[hits two-run tater]

Act IV

Kevin Siegrist: My strength is diminished. There’s not much left,
Yet my leader demands I continue.
Continue I shall, until my last breath
Or like, I am traded or something, right?
[Jett Bandy hits two-run home run]
A scratch! ‘Tis a scratch! But ‘tis enough.
I am murdered. I am murdered. I am-
[Dies Is removed from game]

Act V

Tyler the Lyon Heart:
[All bow]
I hath returned. May my face bring you peace.

Member of crowd: Oh my lanta, he is just so handsome.

Tyler: Uh, right. Anyway, I am back, guys. So...

Member of crowd: Sorry, Ginuwine’s Pony was playing
In my head and I did hear not a word.

Tyler: Forget it. I am not even pitching.

[The end]


Despite home runs from Matt Carpenter and Jedd Gyorko, along with bases-loaded, bases clearing triple from Kolten Wong, the Cardinals could not stop the Brewers from smacking dingers and lost seven runs to five. Carlos Martínez went five innings, looking brilliant in innings two, three, and four, but surrendered all five of his earned runs in innings one and five. Giving up a home run or two is not a big deal, but walking runners on prior to doing so, makes it one, however.

He did not give up home runs because of his hair. I suggested that a few games ago as a joke, but apparently this is a real thing people believe.


Dexter Fowler struck out four times.


Tyler Lyons is back. To make room for him, Jhonny Peralta has been placed on the ten-day disabled list with an upper respiratory injury. So... a cold, right?


A win expectancy graph:

Source: FanGraphs


Adam Wainwright is up next as he takes on Wily Peralta at 7:10pm.


Yes, the recap is late. I am a dolt. Happy Friday!