Begin with wide angle shot of AT&T Park from helicopter at 6,000 feet. Background music from Ocean's Twelve when Toulour is doing acrobatics to get to the Faberge egg. Zoom in slowly to show only the stadium, only the field, only the infield, only the pitcher's mound. Continue constant zoom until the only things on the screen are Adam Wainwright's eyes, looking in for sign from Yadier Molina. Long pause. Freeze frame and pause music.
Morgan Freeman: Some people will tell you that this series is just another series in a long season full of identical series. The boys of summer take the field to play a children's game, and after a solid nine innings, one team will win, the other will lose, and we'll all go on with our lives. A win in September means the same as a win in April.
Those people are idiots.
Start Battle Without Honor or Humanity at first trumpet part while playing montage of every dramatic Giant strikeout and every Cardinal hit over the last four years.
Morgan Freeman: The Giants, Mets, and Cardinals are in a tight knot at the top of the wild card standings, each within a half game of the next. A win tonight would catapult the Cardinals ahead of the Mets and tie them with the Giants for the first wild card berth. The next four nights will determine much for our beloved hometown heroes. With every game the Cardinals lose in this 4-game series, they gift the Giants a win. But with every game they win, they deal their ancient enemy a crushing defeat. These games matter more because we know they matter more, and... well, that's enough for me.
1st Inning: Wainwright allowed his first two runs early, attempting to get it all out of his system quickly. After inducing quick groundouts from Angel Pagan and Joe Panik (##5 & 6 OBP on the Giants this years, by the way, genius Bochy), golden boy Buster Posey managed to shoot a single over the infield. Hunter Pence crushed a hanging curveball over the left field wall to put the Giants up early. Giants lead, 2-0.
3rd Inning: Randal Grichuk led off the inning with a laser beam for a double. Kolten Wong moved him over with a groundout to first, and after a Waino popout and a Marp walk, Jedd Gyorko drove Grichuk in with a single of his own. Piscotty struck out to end the threat, but Cardinals cut the Giants' lead in half. Giants lead, 2-1.
4th Inning: Yadier Molina continued his torrid second half, singling to right-center with one out. Jhonny Peralta put him on third base with a nice double. Grichuk drove in Yadi with a clutch single. At this point the Birdos had a chance to blow it open, but they opted to bide their time. Tie game, 2-2.
The Giants weren't resting on their laurels, though. Two walks and a double between set the stage for a sac fly by Cueto and a single by Pagan, both of the RBI variety. Giants lead, 4-2.
5th Inning: Buster Posey hit a double off the center field wall because what else would he do? Wainwright spotted Hunter Pence a 3-0 count then fought back to induce a flyball to right field. Posey tagged, and Stephen Piscotty threw a middle-middle strike to Peralta to gun down ol' Buster but OH COME ON JHONNY WHY WOULD YOU DROP THAT. Wong caught a sharp liner off the bat of Brandon Belt for the second out, and Brandon Crawford hit a grounder to Wong to end the threat. But still, come on, Jhonny. That throw was a thing of beauty.
Waino came out in the 6th inning. He just did okay.
7th Inning: This happened:
Well this was impressive as hell. pic.twitter.com/NphwLVpckF— vhs (@VanHicklestein) September 16, 2016
Unfortunately, Denard Span also got his second hit of the night, making him 5 for his last 43. This particular hit drove in 2 runs, unfortunately. Giants lead, 6-2.
Johnny Cueto cruised to a complete game win, his fifth of the year.
We get another crack at the Giants tomorrow night, and a win there will at least bring us within a half-game of the Mets and Giants and at best tie us for WC2 with the Mets.. Be there unless you want to miss the beginning of the Cards' dramatic 2016 World Series run.