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Scene 1. Seattle. The visitor's clubhouse beneath the stadium. Seated are CARPENTER, DIAZ, FRYER, HOLLIDAY, MOLINA, PHAM, WAINWRIGHT, WONG
Enter MATHENY
MATHENY
Men, these two fortnights now we have fallen.
Now we must fight, lest we fall once again.
DIAZ
[whispers to MOLINA]
Uhh, Yadi, why is Mike talking like that?
MOLINA
Its Iambic pentameter, Diaz,
A device commonly used by Shakespeare.
DIAZ
But why is he speaking this way? Its weird.
MOLINA
He is using drama to make a point.
The team has lost two games in a row now
And we must win to salvage this series.
CARPENTER
What we need is patience - longer at bats
Work more walks so the pitcher cannot last.
WONG
We need to swing more; walks heroes don't make.
Be more aggressive and we'll start to rake.
DIAZ
What... what is happening?
MOLINA
You're new here, Rook.
WAINWRIGHT
Maybe I should pinch hit a little more?
We all remember what happened before.
DIAZ
Yeah, guys, this is just getting really weird.
FRYER
Well I think -
HOLLIDAY
Wait... are we trying to come
up with ideas? 'Cause I have an idea.
CARPENTER
Yes, Matt, we're all coming up with ideas.
HOLLIDAY
Okay, what if when they pitch the ball we...
[HOLLIDAY pauses briefly to look around room]
Hit the ever-lovin' piss outta it?
[team looks around at one another]
PHAM
Sure, why not?
CARPENTER
Sounds good to me.
MATHENY
Let's do this!
Exeunt team.
So the Cardinals hit, like, thirteen extra base hits today to beat up on the Mariners 11-6, with every member of the starting lineup notching at least one knock and seven of the nine with at least one extra base hit on the afternoon. The first three batters of the Cardinal lineup, Matt Carpenter, Aledmys Diaz, and Matt Holliday, led the way with nine hits among them.
After a string of great outings the Cardinals starting pitching had a bit of a setback today with Jaime Garcia going just five and two-thirds innings, giving up ten hits, one a home run, and two walks for five runs. The bright spots on the day, pitching-wise, were Garcia's six strikeouts and the bullpen of Kevin Siegrist, Jonathan Broxton, and Matt Bowman only surrendering one other run in the remaining three and one-third innings.
The series wasn't always pretty, but tomorrow we in the St. Louis area get cheap drinks at On the Run at Mobile, so....
Tomorrow the team travels to Kansas City where Adam Wainwright is scheduled to take the hill against Danny Duffy - who somehow is not a cartoon character with a name like that. Game time is 7:15pm.