It is April Fool's Day. Of course, this would be a perfect opportunity to write some clearly fake, satirical article about Adam Wainwright leaving the team to focus on his music career or something, but I am going to resist the overwhelming temptation to use this overdone troupe. Instead, I got jokes for you.
One of my favorites:
Why did the coach kick Cinderella off the baseball team?
Because she ran away from the ball.
An oldie, but a goodie:
Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."
The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, this I'll do for you." And then he dies.
A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend's voice. The voice says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there's baseball in heaven."
"What's the bad news?"
"You're pitching on Wednesday."
One featuring the Yankees:
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks."
The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
And, of course, last but not least, one at the expense of the Cubs:
I love autumn. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the World Series.
Kinda like the Cubs.
Have a great day, friends!
what else is going on in baseball...
- Mirror, mirror on the ball: 30 bold prediction | MLB.com
- Yogi Berra was honored with a Final Jeopardy! clue | MLB.com
- This dog chilling at a Phillies Spring Training game is a hero | MLB.com
- The Most Important Players of 2016 | FanGraphs Baseball
- The Real Winners of Spring Training | FanGraphs Baseball
- What every team would look like if trades and free agents didn't exist | MLB 2016 Season Preview
- The 9 weirdest baseball promo giveaways of all time | SBNation.com
- 13 MLBers who look primed to break out in 2016. | Sports on Earth
- The MLB season is almost here! Here are 200 predictions. | Sports on Earth
what the cardinals are up to...
- 'Next man up': Gyorko takes over as Cardinals shortstop | St. Louis Cardinals | stltoday.com
- Bowman makes Cardinals roster, celebrates by calling mom | St. Louis Cardinals | stltoday.com
- A Look at the Cards' Opening Day Roster: Many Outfielders, Many Decisions | 101Sports.com
KNOW THINE ENEMY...
the nl central
viva el stuff...
- Chicago meetup for Opening Day | Viva El Birdos
- Hunt and Peck | Viva El Birdos
- Ruben Tejada headed to disabled list, Cardinals finalize roster | Viva El Birdos
- St. Louis Cardinals Season Preview | Viva El Birdos
- Carl Gunnarsson On New Contract: "Everything Is Not Money" | St. Louis Game Time
- Final Four: Tale of the Tape for the nat'l semis. | Sports on Earth