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Cardinals vs Cubs recap: Cards lose to Chicago in 9-0 laugher

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Everyone was terrible and we'll all eventually die.

Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

  • In the first at-bat of the game, Dexter Fowler hit a leadoff home run off Lance Lynn, who absolutely got his hat handed to him today. 1-0 Cubs.
  • Dexter Fowler struck again in the top of the second, hitting a slow high fly ball to a playing-in Piscotty in left field, scoring Starlin Castro and Addison Russell. 3-0 Cubs.
  • The floodgates opened entirely in the third inning, with first Anthony Rizzo then Miguel Montero plating runs. 5-0 Cubs.
  • Seth Maness was then called on to replace Lynn. Lynn's line: 2.1 IP, 7 H, 6 ER, 2 BB, 2 K.
  • Addison Russell then drove home Montero and pitcher Dan Haren with a three-run homer. 8-0 Cubs.

  • Dan Haren completed the scoring in the fifth with a sacrifice fly to center; Montero came home to make it 9-0 Cubs.
  • Two pieces of good news: (1) Randal Grichuk entered this abbatoir abattoir of a game in the ninth to pinch run. And (2) the Reds beat the Pirates 3-1, so St. Louis is still 6 5.5 games up on Pittsburgh in the NL Central.
WPA graph:

The series continues tomorrow night at Busch with Michael Wacha versus Jason Hammel at 7:15 central.