Oh my god, Mets fans look at their bats
They are just so big, they look like
Some of those steroid users
But, you know, who understands those Cards fans?
They're only winning because they are like total hackers, 'kay?
I mean, their bats, are just so big, they're like out there
I mean, gross, look
They're just so GOOD
I like big bats and I cannot lie
When Jhonny walks up, steps in at home plate
And hits a round ball past the base
You get stunned, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that ball was stuffed
Deep in the left field corner
I'm hooked and I'm such a homer
Oh Heyward, I wanna see hits whacked
And sign your contract
Some bloggers tried to warn me
But that bat you got makes me so....happy
Oh Randal Grichuk
You say you want to play the outfield?
Well groove them, groove them
'Cause you can hit those home runs
I've seen some dancin'
Handshakes and laughin'
They're jacked, stacked
Got it going and that's a fact
I'm tired of hearing fans
Whining about PEDalta And Stan
Take the average GM and ask him that
They gotta pack much bat
So Cards fans (yeah) Cards fans (yeah)
Do your players have the goods? (Hell yeah)
Tell 'em to swing it (swing it), swing it (swing it)
Swing that healthy wood
Ohhhh. We see that handshake game. pic.twitter.com/9ug6EGwrgt— MLB GIFS (@MLBGIFs) July 18, 2015
The Cardinals scored all their runs in the first, fifth, and eighth innings. In the first, it went a little something like this: Wong walk, Marp reach on fielder's choice, Hollidouble, Peralta base hit, Heyward base hit, Molina double, Reynolds walk, Grichuk hit-by-pitch. 4-0 Cardinals.
In the fifth, Peralta and Heyward hit back to back doubles, Heyward stole third base, Reynolds singled, and Grichuk hit a 2-run home run to right center field. 8-0 Cardinals.
Heyward singled AGAIN in the eighth inning, after a Pete Kozma walk. Tommy Pham reached base on an error, scoring Kozma. Reynolds grounded out, but Grichuk followed with ANOTHER 3-run home run. 12-2 Cardinals. (The Mets scored a couple in the sixth, but who cares??)
Sam Tuivailala closed out the game in the ninth inning, after Socolovich and Choate followed Lackey's seven strongish innings. Cardinals win 12-2.
1. Are you freaking kidding me Jason Heyward? We should have locked him up when he still sucked. He is on a damn tear. 5-5 tonight, with two RBI and a stolen base. He is literally smoking right now, you guys. No, seriously, someone pour a bucket of water on this man!
2. Holy cats, Randal Grichuk. Two home runs tonight, plus another base hit and a walk. I am still not fully on Team Grichuk, but I'm coming around. It's getting harder and harder every day not to.
3. Matt Carpenter and Kolten Wong were the only starters without hits tonight. Wong did walk once, and so that's okay. Carpenter...well, in a night where the offense was teeing off, I'm even more worried about him, as he seemed unable to join in the fun. To me, it really looks like he's straining at the plate, or pushing too hard, or something. He's fallen to 2.1 fWAR on the season. I feel like he was at that mark in April alone.
4. Cards go for the sweep tomorrow at 1:15 CT. Jonathon Niese vs. Tim Cooney.
* Shout out to IHeartHusband for his help with this!