Confession: There's a stupid part of my brain that gets more excited about Matt Carpenter doubles than Matt Carpenter home runs. Never mind that ZiPS projects him to hit more home runs (9) in remainder of 2015 (490 PAs) than he hit in all of 2014 (709 PAs). The last time Carpenter doubled was Friday (5/15) and I'm a little bent out of shape about it. I don't care that he hit a home run on Saturday because home runs are not doubles and Matt Carpenter will never threaten any home run records.
Given Carpenter's recent time off for extreme fatigue, I should be ecstatic that he is playing in games at all, yet here I am. But don't judge me. You like Matt Carpenter doubles too, which explains why you follow @didcarpdouble on Twitter and anxiously await Dan Moore's updated line graphs. Be honest with yourself. Every time Matt Carpenter hits a ball into the air, there is probably a part of you that thinks what Mike Shannon says in today's Cardstoons.