Hello. It is me again, your friendly neighborhood Scooter. You might remember me from yesterday's post asking for you to vote on the Cardinals celebration of the year. Perhaps you remember me from Wednesday's post asking you to vote for the Cardinals defensive play of the year. Maybe instead you recognize me from Tuesday's post asking about the pitcher of the year or Monday's post before that reaching out about the hitter of the year. Maybe you do not remember any of those posts. Take this time to get acquainted, and then also place a vote while you are at it, maybe.
Today we turn our attention to the best breaking of Unwritten Rules™. If you are unfamiliar with these Unwritten Rules™, allow me to explain. Unwritten Rules™ are just that, rules that are not written down that have been created by men wearing pajamas with very large egos. Violation of these rules puts one at risk of being subjected to some sort of verbal altercation, maybe even getting a sphere thrown at him or her at around ninety miles per hour, but below the head, because any higher is a violation of a different Unwritten Rule™.
Anyway, it is dumb, but Grant Brisbee of SB Nation and McCovey Chronicles writes brilliantly about them. So, in order to determine who broke it better, I thought the candidates could include the articles he has written this year on the different Unwritten Rules™ violations.
But how to determine which is better? I say, go with your heart. Maybe it is which situation is the most ridiculous. Perhaps you want to vote for the one with the dumbest Unwritten Rule™ and therefore the best breaking of a rule would be that. Or maybe you want to vote for the sandwich one because that ones makes you laugh. I do not know. This is up to y'all.
To the nominees!
"Noah Syndergaard was eating lunch in the clubhouse during an intrasquad scrimmage, so he got a talking to and his lunch was thrown away... because there are some UNSPOKEN rules that you do not do."
"Lawrie hurt Alcides Escobar while breaking up a double play. Yordano Ventura plunked Lawrie in the midsection in response. Everything unwritten was finished, but then Herrera threw a fastball near Lawrie's face, and things escalated again."
"...one grown man yelled at another grown man for yelling at himself..."
Dad gummit, you have to know this story, right? Fine, just in case
"...a literal FBI investigation about a team literally hacking into the computers of another team."
"And there are rules in place to handle what Jose Tabata did in Max Scherzer's quest for a perfect game. He stuck his elbow out and tried to get hit."
"Whatever the reason, Donaldson was plunked by Edinson Volquez on Sunday. Warnings were issued, and a Blue Jays pitcher hit a batter later in the game. Other stuff happened in between, which we'll get to. But the actual rumpus wasn't very interesting by baseball standards."
"In today's entry of Writing the Unwritten Rules, we have an aggressive time caller and an impatient man."
"Papelbon is pure id, someone who grabs his crotch or your throat because the chemicals in his brain told him to, and his ego and superego like to take naps under the desk.
Harper is pure arrogance, but it's an entirely justified arrogance. If he thinks he's better than everyone, it's because he is better than everyone. That's either the most acceptable or unacceptable kind of arrogance. Your call.
On Sunday, one of them tried to choke the other one for not running hard."
I definitely recommend reading these if you have the time, or a least watching the videos. I thought I was totally gunna vote sandwich on this one, but Seager vs. Weaver might have won me over.