6.20 RECAP: A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!

Philies lineup:

Cardinals lineup:

Jaime Garcia, who is sporting some uncharacteristic facial scruff, starts with a strikeout of Jimmy Rollins with a changeup that just completely disappears. I mean it is just disgusting. I mean, it is filthy. I mean it could have been in Carlos Martinez's favorites. Stupid, sexy Chase Utley and "Did you know he is from St. Louis?" Ryan Howard hits are sandwiched by a popout from Carlos Ruiz and a strikeout of Marlon Byrd with another changeup. Inning escaped.

Matt Carpenter works a typical Matt Carpenter plate appearance, taking a few pitches, fouling some off and even including the bogus strike off the outside part of the plate and of course, earns a walk. Two groundouts to second would end the inning, on a fielders' choice from Jon Jay, and the ole 4-6-3 from Matt Holliday.

Thoughts: Jaime Garcia's new disheveled facial hair is a nice change of pace. He should consider that as a permanent look. Also his changeup looks nasty. He should keep throwing that. Burnett has thrown a lot of fastballs and his curveball looks flat. He should probably fix that before he pitches again.

***

WHY DID I GIVE A.J. BURNETT SUCH EXCELLENT ADVICE?

The Cardinals strike first in the bottom of the third. Matt Carpenter does more Matt Carpenter stuff and finds himself on third base after being hit by a pitch and going first to third on a Jon Jay single - Matt Carpenter is a very good baserunner, dontcha know? He would then score on a Matt Holliday rocket-single into left field. 1-0 Cardinals
MBI: 1 (Matt Carpenter by Matt Holliday)
RMI: 1 (Matt Carpenter by Matt Holliday)
MMI: 1 (Matt Carpenter by Matt Holliday)

It is the fourth inning. Jaime has six strikeouts.
Now it is the fifth inning, and things... they are not going as well. Two Philli runs have scored on back-to-back doubles after a leadoff double by John Mayberry, Jr. He would be doubled in by Burnett, who would be doubled in by Jimmy Rollins. After a Ruiz walk, there are two men on for the handsomest second baseman in the league.
Whew. Pop up to third. Two down, but we are not out of it yet. Ryan Howard lurks in the wings...
Strike one. Probably not a strike, but deal with it because Marp has to.
Strike two. Dios mio. Dat change.
Strike three. Wow. Just... wow.
The Philies take the lead, however. 2-1 Phillies.

Ah... to recap the rest of the game:

(The really sad part is this isn't a photo... it's a gif.)

Guys, give me something to work with here. ANYTHING! I mean, who am I, The Continental?

Groundout, groundout, groundout, groundout.
Oh look, a challenge! And we lost that, too.
Strikeout, strikeout... stupid left-handed strike zone. Another Matt Carpenter line-drive out.
I am numb. I feel nothing.

***

WAIT, OH MY LANTA THE BUGS! What are they? June bugs? May flies? Moths? Ew, ew, ew. The GOB are clearly displeased and have sent down a plague. Good going, Fink. This is what happens when you say the other team doesn't "hit well, field well, or pitch well" in your preview. Matt Holliday - shield your ears! Someone get him his moth-repellent hat. No, not that one. Don't be ridiculous, you will know his hat when you find it. It is huge, has special ear flaps, and the Batman symbol on it.

A glimmer of hope, but it is dashed with yet another groundout. Too bad that Allen Craig double didn't go over the fence. I think the moths were conspiring against us and pushed it back. They probably want revenge over their fallen brother, who tried to take refuge in a large man's ear and returned back a broken and suffering creature.

***

"That was the silliest play I have ever seen," says Tim McCarver through muffled laughter. What is he talking about? Well, a grounder ricocheted off Matt Adams's knee, and Trevor Rosenthal, who had not pitched since Sunday (and is the recent recipient of a glorious new haircut), was moving over on the play and attempted to field it. Apparently, he took fielding training from Ryan Theriot, and it ended up rolling back over to Adams, who picked it up before Howard could step on the bag. Howard was frustrated, since he had to jump over players and such, but it was not obstruction because both players were in the act of fielding the ball! Neat!

A.J. Burnett was not as good as it appears. Jaime Garcia was not as bad as it appears. The moths were probably as bad as they appeared.

***

LIL SCOOTER'S PAIN IN THE ASS OF THE GAME:

Oh, you know who this is going to. A.J. Burnett goes the distance, limits the Cardinals to one run, and hits an RBI double, good for .309 WPA.

Source: FanGraphs

Tweet Gamethread/Comment of the Game:

In life we have to have a little sadness to appreciate the good times. There we are. You need darkness in order to see light.

— Bob Ross (@BobRoss) June 20, 2014

Tim McCarver Teaching Moment of the Game:

Since 1918, the Cardinals have finished last, in either their league or division, one time. The Philies on the other hand, have done this 30 times. Huh.

Injury Update:

Shelby MIller is cool. The pinch in his hip is fine and he is fine.
Kevin Siegrist threw for the first time in three days, from flat ground. He should feel better and he hopes to throw again tomorrow.

The series continues tomorrow as Adam Wainwright looks to stop the losing skid against Cole Hamels at 3:10pm CST. Here is your broadcast information:

• Radio: PHI: 1210 WPHT, 94 WIP, SBP 1480 STL: KMOX 1120
• TV: PHI: CSN STL: FS-M