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Cardinals vs. Dodgers NLDS: The game within the game

Except in this game, everyone wins.

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

In about twelve hours or so the Cardinals will embark on another epic and beautiful (hopefully) journey through the Major League Baseball Postseason. It will be a tough journey, probably filled with a combination of the joy of victory and the agony of defeat. Our resolve will be tested. Our passion will be challenged. Our mettle will be stretched to the point of exhaustion.

There is only one thing to do, my friends. We need to look this #adversity in the eye, and give it all we got.

We must... drink.

And so, without further ado, I present the 2014 NLDS Cardinals versus Dodgers Bingo Card!


"Bingo Card?" you say, "This looks more like a Drinking Game."

That is because it is!

Have you ever listened to a broadcaster and thought "I could probably do this job"? Turns out, you probably can! After years of hearing baseball broadcasters and analysts speak on the reg, I have complied a list of cliches and stereotypes I believe they are most likely to reference on the broadcast. I then categorized these cliches with the player I believe they will be most associated with. Lastly, I made a "Potpourri" column the contains random things I think will be mentioned or happen at some point during this series.

Now to the fun part: how to play.

It really is quite simple. Whenever the reference in one of the squares is said or the action in the square is performed, it is time to drink. There are several ways this can be done. The first way is to drink once every time the reference is made, another way is to drink the specified amount the first time the reference is made and not later on if the reference is repeated, and the last way, if you are feeling really ambitious, is to just combine both by drinking the specified amount every time the reference is made. Of course you can also chose not to drink at all and just play like BINGO, which is completely acceptable, too.

I know what you are probably thinking. You are thinking, "Uhhh, Scooter, that is a lot of squares". Well you know what? You are darn right it is, solider. We all have to do our part. The playoffs are pukingly fun, but they also are pukingly nerve-racking. If I am going to be feeling pukingly anyway....

Please drink responsibly. DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE. I love you.