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Available to share: one king-sized doghouse, dwntn, amenities, $1200/mo

Centrally located, close to metro link, close to (in) ballpark, courthouse, many amenities. Sleeps one uncomfortably. Late-20s male seeks roommate for king sized doghouse. Zero amenities. Seeks male roommate to defray negative attention. Volatile reliever type or over-gregarious rookie preferred. Must be able to annoy/frustrate Mike Matheny freely. Toxic personality-friendly. Applicants with other teams must get trade approval from super first. Will cover international calling costs for applicants from Japan (Nyjer! Apply if you see this!). Must be willing to take over whole rent if I move out. Call M. Boggs, at the stadium.

By tom s.
USA TODAY Sports

Mitch Boggs has probably not forgotten how to pitch, but man, it is painful to watch this. Five innings of pitching is still just five innings of pitching. Some of you may remember how last season Boggs was the only person most people wanted to see from the bullpen. He wasn't as good as he was last year nor as bad as he's been in a handful of innings this year.

Right now, I'm going on the theory that the club has been signed up for remedial reliever volatility studies. Maybe if we pass this year, we won't have to re-retake it in 2014? So, do me a favor and try to note how extraordinarily frustrating this burp of a performance from Boggs is without declaring that he is the WORST RELIEVER EVER and needs to be sent to Memphis. Just think of this as some sort of Jobian trial without all the boils.

Try not to stink so much next time, Mitch. Unless the problem is that you're trying too hard not to stink. In which case, try to stink. Or just don't think about it. Think about something else. Think about baseball instead! Wait.

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