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The St. Louis Cardinals Pitching Meltdown FAQ ~version 1.3a~

Hello!!! and welcome to the St. Louis Cardinals Pitching Meltdown FAQ ~version 1.3a~

~~~The St. Louis Cardinals~~~
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                          ____/   by Kyle Lohse (VERSION 1.3a DON'T COPY)                                                      

Kyle Lohse ( Managing Editor
Colby Rasmus ( Some Math Stuff
Brendan Ryan (denirolol---at---hotmail---dot---com): Cool logo (THANKS Brendan!)
This file is ONLY on Viva El Birdos and GameFAQs, if you see it somewhere else it's STOLEN PROPERTY.
( C ) Lohseman Unlimited, 2012

1.3a: Added cool logo (THANKS Brendan!)
1.2: Took out the part about Jake Westbrook being awesome all the time, geez man haha
1.1a: Added to changelog
1.1: Created changelog
1.0 alpha: Uploaded the FAQ

0.1: Logo ( C ) Brendan Ryan
0.2: Changelog
0.3: Contents

1.1: Walkthrough: How to lose to the Philadelphia Phillies
1.2: Jake Westbrook FAQ
1.3: Fernando Salas FAQ
1.4: Victor Marte
1.5: Easter Eggs

2.1: Credits
2.2: Copyright


OKAY, first you have to take the Bat from the Giant, I know it looks weird and he's just going to keep talking about Dinger Crystals the whole time but you can ignore that since you have this walkthrough LOL. If you don't take it the Blanton on the first screen is going to just keep casting DrainBall on everybody in your party until the BlindJoe calls you out and you lose one of your lives, even though he's pretty much just a Level 1.

You're going to be super over-leveled for the Hitting Zone and it's totally a trap, but you have to do it all anyway and you can't skip this opening scene because that's how they programmed it I guess, haha. Just keep pressing Bash on Holliday and Beltran and even Yadi's turns, then cast GritCure with Skip if you need it. If you try AutoFight the AI is just going to keep bunting, so leave that off for now because you HAVE to kill this Blanton for the game to progress.

After you kill the Blanton the old man in the baseball clothes is going to tell you some dumb sob story about how all this best soldiers are injured and you should have mercy on him and he'll bring out a dinky little HctrLuna with 1 HP for you to fight. But you CAN'T FIGHT HIM, because it's a trick and the maidens in the crowd will all freak out if they see you hit him and you'll have to start all the way back in Ballprk Village with the cow-milking contest.

Let him kind of sit there for a minute and the old man will turn into a Cholly and bring out there REAL lineup, and it's going to be weirdly hard even though all the enemies in the Pitching Zone look super old or just like little anonymous slime guys.

All this is kind of scripted so no matter how many cool moves you do the Victorino is going to score a critical hit on your Westbrook, and the game is going to look like it's freaking out and your Westbrook is going to lose all his experience points. It's a metaphor, though, so don't worry when the ???? guy at the back of their lineup turns into a Level 99 Galvis. There's a cut scene here where your Westbrook goes, "This LowBall Energy. . . is so. . . transient?????" and then you have to take him out of your party, and then you can pick whoever you want to fight with.

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\_|(_||<(/_  \/\/(/__> |_|_)|(_)(_)|<

POWER:    34
IQ:       80
SOUL:     90
MAGIC:    99
EVADE:    00

Q: Xx_baseballking_xX, why should I use Westbrook in my party?
A: Pretty much every cool thing you can do with Westbrook costs mana, but luckily his magic level is super high or else he would never KO anybody. At the start of this level he has unlimited LowBall power, from that cutscene earlier where he won all those games, so use it while you can but it's going to run out fast. His vitality is really high so he can get hit a lot but he's still okay.

Q: How do I keep him from getting KO'd really early?
A: Your defense is going to have to cast FieldCure a LOT, because he doesn't have any EVADE and when he gets a status ailment like 3rdBase it's REALLY hard to get it off him. But if the rest of your party has a really high defense he's totally cromulent BUT only if the bad guys don't get any critical hits.

Q: Why does he get killed in Pitching Meltdown?
A: Because the Phillies army gets a TON of critical hits, duh, haha. Also if he misses a bunch of times in a row it's going to be super hard for the rest of your party to pick up the slack.

Q: Why do you keep using him every time we play even though you keep losing? j/k man
A: Ugh Brendan you JERK. I already HAVE Westbrook, and I don't want to risk getting any of my cooler guys KO'd yet, and he's got a ton of HP, so he's perfect for now especially when I cast DefenseUp, and when I kept using WnWrght you said it was cheating.

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|_).__.._  _| _ ._  | \o _|  _ _ ._ 
|_)|(_|| |(_|(_)| | |_/|(_|<_>(_)| |

POWER:    ??
IQ:       ??
SOUL:     ??
MAGIC:    ??
EVADE:    ??

My friend Jason who has a Game Genie likes to put in codes by just pressing the buttons randomly and he got this guy once, he just looks like a random townsperson and the game kind of freaks out, also when you don't have the cartridge pushed all the way in and your brother bumps into the Nintendo you get this guy before the music freezes and you can't do anything anymore sometimes. He's okay I guess, you kind of just use him like Westbrook and keep casting LowBall.

\  /o __|_ _ ._ |\/| _..__|_ _ 
 \/ |(_ |_(_)|  |  |(_||  |_(/_

POWER:    66
IQ:       70
SOUL:     74
MAGIC:    20
EVADE:    74

If you don't have any Closers yet this guy is pretty cool, he has Slider and HiSpeed like them except they aren't all that great when he uses them. After you get Sanchez you can probably just leave him in The End of Time. He might be super effective against Righty types but I can't figure it out yet.

Q: Should I keep using Marte?
A: I don't know man, I mean, maybe if you level up so much that it doesn't matter anymore?? Also you could put all the best armor on him I guess. He's good to have if all your big guys are out of HP but don't try leveling him up too much because his power never really gets that high.

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|__ ._._  _.._  _| _  (_  _.| _. _
|(/_| | |(_|| |(_|(_) __)(_||(_|_>

POWER:    77
IQ:       75
SOUL:     81
MAGIC:    75
EVADE:    87

I don't know, guys, I got Salas's stats out of the Official Player's Guide but whenever I try using him he just keeps SCREWING UP and getting all my guys killed when his ChngUp gets reflected into an unblockable LineDrive. Colby, you can write this section if you want, man, or else I'm going to just write about how I'm p'd off about him, pretty much.

Salas's moves aren't very aesthetically appealing, but Kyle is concerned far too much with his miss rate in this one campaign—which is, I must remind you, entitled "Pitcher Meltdown"—and he's angry about it because he keeps using him at the front of his party while all of this is happening. He should consider using Salas to grind in a lower-level area until he's regained his confidence in his ChngUp—that is, until KYLE has regained his confidence in SALAS's ChngUp. Simply too valuable a character to discard at this stage of the game. CR

Geez Colby. I wasn't saying I hated the game or anything, just that it's super annoying to see a guy you have in for like three turns every game screw up in two of them.

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Make a Naked Guy run across the screen. LOL guys I totally didn't believe this one but it's true!!! Start out like you're doing that fake Lara Croft naked code (I KNOW you're just BS-ing me Jason, admit it) and then keep pressing the X button in the press box until Horton's face turns red.

Tap X and he'll keep running but if your buddy's over he can take control of the security guys with the other controller!!

Valdes. If you kill the Blanton too quickly for the game to figure out what to do next it sends out this guy Valdes who just says his name a lot like a Pokémon kind of.

Unlock Rick Ankiel. Okay guys my buddy told me that you can get Rick Ankiel the PITCHER in St. Louis Cardinals: Pitcher Meltdown but you have to do a bunch of things first. FIRST you have to get ALL the dinger crystals in Jupiter, EVEN the secret ones. Next you have to let Adams get all the way down to 1 HP, but he can't die, and THEN you have to beat Greene with him in the Racing Game 64 times. The last time he'll say, "You're the fastest! Really are! Visit GRAVEYARD for a surprise." Go back to the graveyard behind Lake DeWitt and Rick Ankiel WILL BE THERE. His POWER and EVADE ratings are both 99 and he can cast SuprCrve AND HomeRun. I haven't done this one yet, so if you have PLEASE E-MAIL ME at


Huge thanks to the St. Louis Cardinals for making such an AWESOME GAME!! The ending kind of sucks but I like it way more than the ones where nothing happens, and I like how many characters there are so that I can keep playing and winning sometimes even when I accidentally let Berkman die in the swamp world. Thanks to Holliday and Beltran for having such awesome moves, and Yadi for leveling up so fast, and Brendan for the great logo. And thank YOU but only if you didn't copy this.