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This Week Around SB Nation: August 16-22

After some downtime spent moving Viva El Birdos World Headquarters to Fort Collins we're back with a new edition of This Week In SB Nation, an ideally-weekly feature designed to draw attention to the Cardinals material produced off the front page of VEB. 

SB Nation

The week began with our final look at Brandon Phillips's creative use of obscenity—The Top Five People Brandon Phillips Should Antagonize Next, a list that begins with the lead singer of Weezer and, via the St. Louis Rams, ducks through three very different second basemen. 

Alex Fritz chimed in on the Pedro Feliz trade—you might remember it—with a presumably incomplete list of players, people, and inanimate objects he'd rather see play third base than Pedro Feliz. 

Things I Would Be Okay With Trading Away For Pedro Feliz
A half-empty Orange Julius smoothie
The memory of Bob Horner, myself, and my mother having a very awkward encounter in the lobby of the Ballpark Marriott, circa 1988.
Pedro Feliz himself, stuck in a never-ending vortex of being traded

On the Sports of St. Louis Blog, meanwhile, there was talk of Jaime Garcia winning rookie of the yearPete Kozma eventually being good enough to become a rookie; and the Cubs trading Albert Pujols's 2005 foil, among other things.

Viva El Birdos Fanposts

Another great week in the Viva El Birdos Fanposts Section. Cards Fan in Chitown took a location poll of Viva El Birdians (note to self: come up with better demonym); what surprised me most wasn't the five votes outside the continental US but the eight votes from New York and New England, which seem to me to be tough places to stick to one's Cardinal fandom. 

JWO took the occasion of the end of the MLB Draft signing period to collate scouting reports from the Cardinals most highly touted new faberge eggs. mstreeter06 is keen to start a VEB Out of the Park Sim Baseball league, which I would definitely recommend if you aren't, like me, a dyed in the wool Baseball Mogul player.

thepainguy, in a good-news/bad-news scenario for VEB third base watchers, took a look at the overly lunging swing of Allen Craig and the impressively long swing of Pedro Feliz. These swing breakdowns are always worth checking out; in particular, he's convinced he could fix some of Pedro Feliz's problems without a lot of time investment, which means that whoever among us who's seen Celtic Pride the most times should orchestrate Feliz's kidnapping and delivery to painguy headquarters prior to tomorrow's game. 

Next d-dee, fresh off her definitive Cards/Reds fight fanpost, collects everything there is to know about Chris Carpenter's mysterious tattoos. Paulspike rhapsodizes for an ordinary-guy starter behind the Cardinals' three stars. (Unfortunately, I think this is the guy Kyle Lohse is being paid to be.) Finally, punchinjudy reminds us that things used to be worse in the Cardinals universe—Felix Jose worse.