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The Baron's Big Ass Listomania Post


I was sitting on my sofa last night, watching the MLB Network, and Barry Larkin was demonstrating a particular batting drill. Harold Reynolds was crouching down behind the plate, soft-tossing balls toward Larkin, who would then hit the ball. As he was hitting, Larkin was explaining to the audience why this drill was so good. It helps to slow everything down, he said, rather than having you jump at the ball. It was then he said something which made me deliriously happy.

"See, it just slows absolutely everything down. That's why I like it from the back like this. I like it from the side, too, or behind."

And then Harold Reynolds tossed another.

I immediately felt my face break into an enormous grin and grabbed my phone. I texted a friend of mine, wanting to share my new joy, and she found it hilarious as well.

What's more, I found myself narrating the show the rest of the way as it should have gone. "Come on, Harold. Give him a hug. Just a little hug. Just creep up from behind, just the way he likes, and hug him. See, it's no big deal. This is all fine. Okay, now tell him what a good shortstop he was. Tell him he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame just for how good he looked in his uniform. Yeah, it's okay. It's just a drill, just a drill you guys are working on. What's that? Magrane wants to watch your drill? Well, sure, that's fine. No harm in letting ol' Joe just watch, is there?"

It was a good day.

Unfortunately, I find myself with little good today. I'm staring down what promises to be a very long and unpleasant day, and I simply don't have time for a proper Baronial posting. So I was sitting here, trying to think of something quick I could do, and it suddenly came to me. I'm going to make a list.

But not just any list. No, I'm going to make a bunch of lists, and then you can all argue over them. Sound like fun? No? Well, too damned bad. I say it's going to be lists, and lists it's going to be.

And awaaaayyyyy we go.

 Five pitchers I most enjoyed watching in a Cardinal uniform

  1. John Tudor
  2. Chris Carpenter
  3. Dennis Eckersley
  4. Rick Ankiel
  5. Adam Wainwright 

Five favourite pitchers, non-Cardinal division

  1. Steve Avery
  2. David Cone
  3. Scott Sanderson
  4. Mitch Williams
  5. Pedro Martinez

Three best ballparks I've ever been to

  1. PNC, Pittsburgh
  2. Coors Field, Colorado
  3. Camden Yards, Baltimore

Three worst ballparks I've been to

  1. The Metrodome, Minnesota
  2. Wrigley Field, Chicago (And not just because it's full of Cub fans. It smells awful, it's in the middle of effing Webster Groves, and I don't like peeing in a trough.) 
  3. Veteran's Stadium, Philadelphia (Oh. My. God.) 

Five best records with Dan and Al on mute

  1. "Death of a Ladies' Man" - Leonard Cohen (Seriously. Cohen and baseball just go together for me. No idea why.)
  2. "Travelling Without Moving" - Jamiroquai (Lights out, Cards on, and let the dancing commence.)
  3. "Swan Lake" - Moscow RTV Symphony Orchestra, Vladimir Fedoseyeve conducting
  4. "Snow Machine" - Snow Machine
  5. "Electro-Shock Blues" - Eels

 Six players I wouldn't mind seeing hit by a bus

  1. Al Leiter
  2. Darren Daulton
  3. Ryan Braun
  4. David Wells
  5. Howard Johnson
  6. Matt Williams

Three best uniforms (current)

  1. Cardinals Home
  2. Yankees Home
  3. Tie: Giants Home (the off-white is sweet), Tigers Home, and Phillies Home Alternate (non-pinstripe with the blue accents)

Three worst uniforms (current)

  1.  Those funny goldish Padres unis
  2. Cardinals Sunday Home (I hatehatehatehatehate those hats)
  3. DBacks Home

Four favourite ballpark vending items

  1. Hot dog
  2. Pretzel
  3. Those big drinks with fruit punch and orange sherbert in them
  4. Peanuts

Three foods I wish I could get at the game

  1. Fried alligator (possibly on a stick)
  2. Fish and chips
  3. Sushi (though I wonder about the heat. Hmm. Maybe not.) 

 Three beers I wish I could get at the game 

  1. St. Louis Peach (The city is right in the name! No, I don't care that it's made in Belgium, damn it!) 
  2. Michelob Golden
  3. Square One Agave Wheat

Five favourite baseball movies

  1. Eight Men Out
  2. Bull Durham
  3. A League of Their Own
  4. Bingo Long and the Travelling All-Stars  
  5. Major League 

And finally,

My ten favourite Cardinal moments of the past decade

  1.  The final out of the 2006 World Series
  2. Albert destroying Brad Lidge's career
  3. Edmonds going over the wall in Cincinnati 
  4. Mark Mulder staring down Clemens for ten innings
  5. The whole 2004 NLCS
  6. The whole 2001 NLDS
  7. Albert hitting three homers in Cincy on Easter
  8. Bud Smith's no-hitter
  9. Carlos Beltran staring at a curveball
  10. Getting to attend the All-Star game for free 

And that's enough of that. Feel free to tear apart my lists or make your own or just yell at each other. Whatever you like.

The Baron's Playlist for the 24th of February, 2010

"Movie Magg" - Carl Perkins

"Cast Iron Arm" - Peanuts Wilson

"Go! Go! Go!" - Roy Orbison

"Love Always, Charlie" - 7 Shot Screamers

"Serious" - Richard Hawley