Astros vs. Rangers: Opening Day with Lance Berkman, without Tyler Greene

Never forget. - USA TODAY Sports

Hey! Real baseball! It doesn't have Tyler Greene, but I'm willing to overlook that just this once.

I need to get some last-minute gamethread reps in before the St. Louis Cardinals' own Opening Day festivities, so let's talk about some real baseball! The Texas Rangers will be playing the Houston Astros on Sunday, for reasons that honestly escape me.

But Lance Berkman is a member of the Rangers, even if Tyler Greene is no longer a member of the Astros, so a contest between a classic John Mozeliak pickup and Jeff Luhnow's Cardinals B-Team is probably the best we could really hope for for Major League Baseball's latest attempt to devalue the concept of Opening Day (and ruin its chances of being named a national holiday, instead of a de facto productivity suck.)

So get your gamethread wind back, learn the ins and outs of our new commenting system, and talk about how sad you are that A) Tyler Greene is currently unsigned B) Lance Berkman is not the Cardinals' hitting player-coach C) Jeff Luhnow hasn't even considered signing Ray Lankford yet.

Your clerihew:

Jeff Luhnow,
his face aglow,
could hardly refrain from swearin
when he was beaten to Tyler Herron.

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