FanPost

On Violence

For those uninitiated, I am on record saying I am not an understander of hockey. The penalties don't make a lot of sense to me and the strategy does make sense sometimes-- but other times, I'm all "sling the puck at the guy, it might go in", which I'm told is a bad strategy--- but I saw the Backes goal on Sunday. Please tell me that he was trying something other than a "ah to hell with it" shot on that play.

I remain unconvinced. It's the part of the sport that makes winning seem like an arbitrary assortment of happenings. Like, yeah, you can have some skill guys and stuff, but when Backes can score on things like that

As a casual hockey fan, I mostly spend my time watching the game relating it to my understanding of other sports. I watch baseball and I think "it would take a horrible human being to intentionally rifle that ball at a dude's head". And sometimes it seems almost justified, but then I think "oh, he could die, which is always bad." So throwing at guys is definitely bad.

As I write this, Javier Baez has been hit on the wrist by a pitch while squaring to bunt against the St. Louis Cardinals. Nothing but sympathy. Nearly all examples of violence are bad.

Relating headhunting to hockey-fights and hockey cheapshots, I wonder how anyone could, in good conscience, cheer in front of their children when a dude gets cut down like a blade of grass while skating across the ice. "He deserved it" seems like a lazy way to say "I like seeing people get hurt, it doesn't matter what the circumstances are".

Which is fine. You can feel that way. But when you get hacked up by a drug dealer in a Denny's parking lot, don't come crying to me. Because I don't cry for you.

But then someone posts a gif of Duncan Keith getting drilled by two different guys.

Listen @-everyone, I don't know Duncan Keith from Moses. I couldn't tell you if he's walked into my place of employment while I was working. I don't know what number he wears.

His name. That first-last name combination. It is not something I wish on anyone. His name makes me want to go to a music store (/eBay) and purchase an autographed copy of every John Mellencamp record ever recorded and light them on fire.

Violence is bad. And I know people, for the most part, do not choose their names. But if your name is Duncan Keith, I'm going to watch gifs of you getting hit until you change your name to something else.