Hello - my name is Mike Matheny. Could I interest you in some outs? I'm practically giving these things away.

Just the other day, I had men on second and third with nobody out. What did I do? Squeeze play. Now you can shop around, talk to the other managers, but I guarantee you none of them will be able to give away two outs any quicker than that.

That's just the way we do things around here. Some guys'll try to sell you on a hit-and-run. Round here, we call it a strike-em-out, throw-em-out. I tell my guys every morning, "it's only a double-steal if both guys are safe." And they rarely, rarely are.

Now, I'm not one to bad-mouth the competition. But a lot of managers, they'll just sit around, wait for the hitters to make all the outs. They'll get two, three guys out there on base - just sitting there. Me, I think we can get things done faster. I want my runners to keep running, not to just play it safe on some "base."

Here's the thing: We've got plenty of outs. They give me 27 of these things every game. I can barely get rid of them fast enough. And believe me, I'm trying.

You're still not convinced. I can tell you're a man who knows his outs. Probably the type of man who wouldn't have a .300 hitter attempt a bunt with two strikes. I'm really not supposed to do this without my General Manager's approval, but for you, I'll make an exception. Bases loaded, nobody out, pitcher at the plate… hit and run. That's my final offer. I really can't give away any more outs than that.

Or can I?