FanPost

Cardinals 2011 The Album Volume "11": B-Sides, Hollidays, and Pujols

You laughed, you cried, you recommended... now, due to boredom and craving for more attention popular demand, the producers who brought you Cardinals 2011: The Album are back, with a brand new collection of hits you and your basement will treasure!

From looking back at the roller-coaster season, to re-living the painful and tumultuous winter, to the joyful holidays shared with friends and family, this special musical collection is the perfect companion to Cardinals 2011: The Album, and can be yours only through this special Fanpost offer!

Part 1: B-Sides

Freese-Craig, by The A. Miles Band (Inspired by Freeze Frame, by J. Geils Band)

FREESE-CRAIG!

I could see it was a tough assignment, pinch hitting sure can bring you down
Ogando's fastball got me wound, there were some clutch hits to be found
The crowd gets up and makes a sound

Bottom ninth with two strikes on me, I'm hoping just to see the ball
A triple bouncing off the wall, I'm runnin', Joe Buck makes the call
Can barely believe this at all

FREESE-CRAIG! FREESE-CRAIG!
FREESE-CRAIG! FREESE-CRAIG!
FREESE-CRAIG! FREESE-CRAIG!
FREESE-CRAIG! WOOOO!

Now I'm lookin' at the flash-back vid clips, good feelings just won't disappear
Fans cheerin', screamin' in my ears, ball stays in the air it seems so long,
Each time hope I don't hit it wrong

FREESE-CRAIG! FREESE-CRAIG!
FREESE-CRAIG! FREESE-CRAIG!
FREESE-CRAIG! FREESE-CRAIG!
FREESE-CRAIG! WOOOO!

(Instrumental, repeat, etc.)

Yadi's Got A Gun by Oezziesmith (Inspired by Janie's Got A Gun by Aerosmith)

(Dun dun dun, Yadi what have you done)
(Dun dun dun, throw him out with my gun)
(Dun dun dun, Yadi what have you done)
(Dun dun dun, throw him out)

Yadi's got a gun, Yadi's got a gun
Running game's come undone
When the ball is spun
What did that runner do?
Why did that call go through?
They say he tried to go for second, but Yadi caught him from a crouch
It sucks to be the runner, but for Yadi nothing's funner
The man he really ain't no slouch

Yadi's got a gun, Yadi's got a gun
Running game's come undone
When the ball is spun
Tell me now it's untrue
What did little Yadi do?
Well he caught the runner sleepin'
He picked him off of first base
They say the runner had it comin', just standin' and a-hummin'
With a Molina in the first place

Run away, run away from the base (yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
Run away, run but you won't win the race (yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Run away, run away, run run away

Yadi's got a gun, Yadi's got a gun
No really, you shouldn't run
Getting caught is no fun
What does little Yadi do?
It's Yadi's own IOU
Well just think about the numbers, he'll throw you out half the time
So if you're really plucky, just try if you feel lucky,
But catching you is so sublime

Yadi's got a gun, Yadi's got a gun
Yadi's got a gun, nobody is gonna run
Yadi's got a gun, Yadi's got a gun
Running game's come undone
When the ball is spun

(Etc.)

Song Woo by The Blog (Inspired by Song 2 by The Blur)

Woo-oo! Woo-oo! Woo-oo! Woo-oo!

I got my post rec'd
Without no content
It was so easy
But no regre-ets, no

Woo-oo!
When I'm watchin' my baseball
Woo-oo!
And I need a rally call
Woo-oo!
Well I know that it's easy
All of the time I am never sure why I need "woo"
But I need ya

I shout like Ric Flair
And if I sound square
Well I just don't care
Yeah, I just don't care, no

Woo-oo!
When I'm watchin' my baseball
Woo-oo!
And I need a rally call
Woo-oo!
Well I know that it's easy
All of the time I am never sure why I need "woo"
But I need ya

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Oh, yeah

Two Pitchers by The Sink Doctors (Inspired by Two Princes by The Spin Doctors)

One, two, pitchers in the bullpen, that's what I said now
Pitchers, pitchers in a full pen, and in my head now
Both have names that are confused, now, the fan confesses
So which one, which one do you choose now, they're both successes

Sanchez is like a flaming brand, now, he k's the batter
And Salas is more about command now, but it don't matter
Either one, the stats they will condone you, the FIP now
Hopefully they both will be well known soon, fine with me now

Ends with s, ends with z, both of them can pitch baby can't you see
And we got a couple more, maybe even three, so
Righties from the pen are pretty hard to beat, righties from the pen are pretty hard to beat

So if you want to name a closer, just go ahead now
And if you need time to heal your shoulder, just go ahead now
And if you want to throw some strong curves, just go ahead now
And if you want to show some strong nerves, just go ahead now

(Repeat chorus, repeat third verse, etc.)

Part 2: The Love Song of J. Alberto Pujols (Alcántara)

50 Ways To Lose Your Slugger by Bob Costas (Inspired by 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon... for some reason these two guys remind me of each other, I guess they're both kinda short, clever, dudes)

Your problem's all emotional, she said to me
The answer is easy, thinking sabermetrically
I'd like to help you with your struggle to be free
There must be 50 ways to lose your slugger

She said it's really not my habit to incite,
Furthermore, I hope my reasoning does not seem full of spite
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of seeming trite:
There must be 50 ways to lose your slugger
50 ways to lose your slugger

Just offer less cash, Nash
Don't go to ten years, Piers
No service contract, Jack
Just get yourself free
Save up your bucks, Chuck
It don't mean that you're a schmuck,
It ain't hard to foresee, Lee
So get yourself free

She said it grieves me now to see you take it so,
There must be something I can do to help you let the slugger go
I said, I appreciate that, and maybe you could kindly show
Me 'bout the 50 ways...

She said ten years and all that money is a lot
You're better off, now, in the long run, with the team that you have got
I said I understand, so I will give it a shot
There must be 50 ways to lose your slugger
50 ways to lose your slugger

Just offer less cash, Nash
Don't go to ten years, Piers
No service contract, Jack
Just listen to me
Save up your bucks, Chuck
It don't mean that you're a schmuck,
It ain't hard to foresee, Lee
So get yourself free

(Repeat chorus)

Sad Blogs and Discounts by Willie McGee (Inspired by Sad Songs and Waltzes by Willie Nelson, covered awesomely by Cake)

I'm writing a blog, all about you
A true blog, as real as my fears
But I've no need to boast it, 'cause no one will post it
Sad blogs and discounts aren't trending this year

I'll tell all about how you left us
I'd like for the whole world to jeer
I'd like to say truly that I'll take it coolly
But sad blogs and discounts aren't trending this year

It's a good thing that we've got a farm
That's loaded with talented arms
Though my Fanpost may scream it, the recs won't redeem it
Cause sad blogs and discounts aren't trending this year

Sluggin', Clutchin', Fieldin' / City of The Angels (of Anaheim) by Bernie (Inspired by Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' / City of the Angels by Journey)

You made me weep, I wanna cry
You always said you would try
Sluggin', clutchin', fieldin' forever
Now I'm alone, all by myself
You're playing with someone else
Sluggin', clutchin', fieldin' together
You're tearing me apart, oh every, every day
You're tearing me apart, Albert, what can I say
You're tearing me apart

It won't be long, till you are old
Till all your merchandise, already been sold
And they're lovin', discussin', cheerin' another
It's tearing you apart, oh every, every day
It's tearing you apart, Albert what can I say?
Cause they're loving, cheerin' another
Now it's your turn Al, to cry

Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na
(Repeat)

City of the Angels
City of the Angel-els

Signin' and talkin' and laughin' about
I'm hoping that this new contract will work out
Baseball in places where I want to be
I'm lost in this city, and Freese got the key

City of the Angels, Ooh I hear you callin' me
City of the Angels

I've hope my aging curve will all work out
I've got a feelin' but they have their doubts
I'm signin' on, hopin' to find
New baseball city will bring peace of mind

City of the Angels, Ooh I hear you callin' me
City of the Angels

(Guitar)

City of the Angels, Ooh I hear you callin' me
City of the Angels
It ain't like, ain't like it used to be
City of the Angels
I'm going to California
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Oh bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, yeah
I'm leavin', ooh ooh, I'm leavin' home
I'm leavin', I'm leavin', I'm leavin', ooh

No Albert Tonight / New Cardinals Nation by The Az Ru (Inspired by No Sugar Tonight / New Mother Nature by The Guess Who)

Lonely feeling deep inside
Find a weblog where I can hide
Contract signing crowding me
Sudden madness but I can see

No Albert tonight on my ball club
No Albert tonight on my team
No Albert to hit the home runs
No Albert to start new memes
Dat n doo dow dow, dat n doo dow
Dat n doo dow dow dow dow
Dat n doo dow dow, dat n doo dow
Dat n doo dow dow...

In the roster of my mind
Empty first base, but there's time
Berk can fill in, seems to me
And our payroll now is free

No Albert tonight on my ball club
No Albert tonight on my team
No Albert to hit the home runs
No Albert to start new memes
Dat n doo dow dow, dat n doo dow
Dat n doo dow dow dow dow
Dat n doo dow dow, dat n doo dow
Dat n doo dow dow...

Mo says "Yes" and I believe him, when they ask if it'll be OK
It took a lot of guts and faith to leave him, and send him California way
We're planning out our new roster matrix, we wonder what we're gonna find
It still feels wrong but it won't be long before we leave the guy far behind

Cause it's the New Cardinal Nation taking over
It's the new future quest for series rings
It's the New Cardinal Nation taking over
Starting this spring, starting this spring

Mo says "No" when it comes to Fielder, the rumors are near an end
Don't need to go in that direction, but we gotta lotta money to spend
A stud-filled farm with powder dry now, the situation looks all right
A balanced team, gonna give it a try now, the future's lookin' mighty bright

Cause it's the New Cardinal Nation taking over
It's the new future quest for series rings
It's the New Cardinal Nation taking over
Starting this spring, starting this spring

No Albert tonight on my ball club
No Albert tonight on my team
No Albert to hit the home runs
No Albert to start new memes
Dat n doo dow dow, dat n doo dow
Dat n doo dow dow dow dow
Dat n doo dow dow, dat n doo dow
Dat n doo dow dow...

Part 3: Happy Holliday

Ozzie The Redbird Shortstop (Inspired by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer written by Johnny Marks)

You know Musial, and Schoendienst, and Lou Brock, and Gibson
Jeter, and Larkin, and Wagner, and Ripken
But, do you recall
The best Redbird Shortstop of all?

Ozzie the Redbird Shortstop
Had a very shiny glove
But when it came to hitting
Ozzie never got no love
All of the other shortstops
Knew that his defense was great
They never thought that Ozzie
Would ever start to hit this late
Then in 1984, Ozzie came to say,
"Defense and walks are nifty now,
But I can hit over two fifty now!"
Then all the people loved him
Everybody knew his name
Ozzie the Redbird shortstop
See you in the Hall of Fame

Red Christmas by Elvonso Presliano (Inspired by Blue Christmas, written by Billy Hayes and J. W. Johnson, performed most famously by Elvis Presley)

It'll be a red Christmas, St. Louie
But my poor Cubs have gone kablooey
Sure, I'm doing just fine, with my Theo "Ep-stine"
But frankly, there's times when I wish your team was mine

And when your new trophy's a-shining
My team's rebuild mode has me pining
You'll be fat and well-fed, with your Christmas of red
But I'll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas

(Instrumental break, sobbing, ridiculous rationalization, back to sobbing)

Yeah, you guys got it made, with your ticker parade
But I'll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas

Puh-lease Sign Beltran by Jose Oquendo (Inspired by Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano)

Puh-lease sign Beltran, puh-lease sign Beltran
Puh-lease sign Beltran, sign him for two years and then move on
Puh-lease sign Beltran, puh-lease sign Beltran
Puh-lease sign Beltran, sign him for two years and then move on

I wanna sign under-valued veterans
I wanna sign under-valued veterans
I wanna sign under-valued veterans
It's an inefficiency!
I wanna sign under-valued veterans
I wanna sign under-valued veterans
I wanna sign under-valued veterans
It's an inefficiency!

(Repeat a billion times)

I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas by Bing Devine (Inspired by I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas by Irving Berlin, performed by Bing Crosby, et al.)

I'm dreaming of a red Christmas
Just like the one five years ago
With stories of champions
To tell our grandsons
As they dream about the show

I'm dreaming of a red Chritmas
With play-off highlights in my head
May the Spring come, full speed ahead
And may all our Christmases be red

Moran Sign by Mike Shannon (Inspired by Auld Lang Syne, old Scottish folk song)

Should old post-seasons be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should older memes still be forgot
And all moran signs?

And old moran signs, my dear, and old moran signs
We'll drink a cold Budweiser yet, and old moran signs

And surely there'll be more to top, and sure to come with time
Old Abner's done again, my dear, and Abner's done just fine

Old Abner's done again, my dear, Old Abner's done again
We'll drink a cup of Busch beer yet, and we'll remember when

And we have all made in the posts, of gamethreads all the time
A picture which we laugh the most, an old moran sign

And old moran sign, my dear, and old moran sign
We'll drink a cold Budweiser yet, and old moran sign

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