The Wednesday Thread of Thanksgivingness

Is he still considered a douche if he actually causes that not-so-fresh feeling?

Hello, all.

Here we are again at Thanksgiving, the fifth time said holiday has rolled around since I began writing here at the behest of our founder. It's a bit shocking to say that; the idea I've been doing this silly routine of mine since Colby Rasmus was a breakout Double A prospect rather than a litmus test is somewhat difficult for me to get my head around.

Between the sort of work you get paid for and the sort of work you don't, I've got a full plate today, and I'm sure many of you do as well. Thanksgiving (or Pre-Christmas, as I like to call it), doesn't bring with it the kind of mad rushing about Christmas does, but there are still preparations to make and pies to bake, as well as columns to half-bake ongoing. Besides, most of the ground available today has already been trod, with the exception of the new rules changes for the Wild Card. Which I hate, by the way. I like the balanced leagues, prefer year-round interleague to the way it is now, but the extra WC teams just pisses me off to no end.

You already have a season that goes on for six months and 162 games, a season in which any one single contest is of fairly small importance; why water that down even further? The argument it will create better races is ludicrous as well; how dull would this past September have been if the Red Sox and Braves both still got in to the playoffs? Why baseball seems so intent on fixing problems which don't exist I can't understand, but suspect it has something to do with ESPN talking heads constantly talking about how MLB is going to fix all its glaring issues, i.e. the glaring issue it isn't football and thus doesn't merit embarrassingly sloppy and enthusiastic fellatio 365 days a year. Baseball is an anorexic and ESPN is the aunt who likes to tell people just how Chubby baseball was when baseball was fourteen and she just knows baseball is always going to have to watch it, unlike that friend of baseball's from down the street, Anna, who was always so pretty and thin, just like a little doll right out of the box.

Which brings us back to turkey dinners and embarrassing family members. Ah, full circle. Such a nice place to be.

I leave you today with this clean unspoiled thread, if anyone is around and needs to escape from the whirl of holiday preparations. It would be tradition, of course, to talk about all the things we're collectively thankful for, but you don't have to if you don't want to. Of course, considering we're less than a month removed from a World Series championship it's probably fairly easy to figure out what VEB is thankful for on the baseball side.

Anyhow, that's enough out of me. I hope you all have the very best holiday you're capable of having and are not found dead in a bathtub due to tryptophan overdose.

Take care.

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