We are going to ride to one song and one song only

(Note:  the below lyrics are set to Jay-Z & Kanye West's N*ggas in Paris.  For those unfamiliar, the song can be found here - NSFW language.  I would suggest listening to the song while reading the lyrics.)

[Interlude: Tony La Russa]
We are going to ride to one song, and one song only

[Verse 1:  Albert Pujols]
So I ball so hard all the writers wanna shrine me, but not before a ring sizing
What's 50 grand fans in red cheering for us, can you please remind me
(Ball so hard) This shit crazy, and y'all know that don't shit faze me
Braves lost 8, won 2 and now I look at you like this shit gravy
(Ball so hard) This shit weird, we ain't even 'posed to be here
(Ball so hard) Since we here, its only right that we'd be square
Stand guard, I'm liable to just go yard, take your pick
Molina, O. Smith, Edmonds - Game 6
(Ball so hard) So bring back Doc, havin nightmares of Berk's knock
This shit's for Torty Craig, means you about to be shell shocked
(Ball so hard) What, we shocked you?  Didn't think we'd get games 4 and 2?
You escaped, but you won't escape, now that Carp has his stare on you
(Ball so hard) Let's get a parade, Busch Stadium for like 6 more games
Gold bottles, bring goggles, sprayin Ace on my teammates
(Ball so hard) Just engrave the trophy today
Birds on a Happy Flight with a beak full of Philly prey

[Hook - Albert Pujols, (Chris Carpenter) - Repeat 2x]
Ball so hard greatness defines me
(For Torty Craig)
(For Torty Craig)
(For Torty Craig)

[Verse 2:  Chris Carpenter]
I said Jerry man that pitch was not a ball
He said damn Carp, you got a lotta gall
I said I saw you in the bathroom stall
Blowin a lot more than all these calls
(Ball so hard) For Torty Craig, ain't it great?
(Ball so hard) What they order? Double play?
(Ball so hard) "That pitch so dope!"  This old thing?
(Ball so hard) Act like you'll see someone who don't give a fuck like this again
Luggage, grab the case, black eye on your face
Belong to us, all your base (I'm just sayin)
The Reds ain't do it right if you ask me
Cause if I was them I wouldnt'a (chirped till I won a Series)
Where's Phillips, with Chipper?  At home for the winter?
Jonny Gomes is out too, and he ain't even get injured
But Doc's comin down with an illness, got some serious symptoms
Case of the Birds from St. Louis and they goin reptilian, huh

[Interlude:  Dave Duncan, (Tony La Russa)]
I don't even know what that means
(No one knows what it means, but its provocative)
No it's not (Gets the people goin!)

[Hook - Albert Pujols]
Ball so hard cuz engineers designed me
Ball so hard fuckin outs can't find me

[Verse 3, Chris Carpenter]
Watch what's about to be thrown, don't let me get in my zone
Don't let me get in my zone, don't let me get in my zone
These little Phillies is lyin, actin’ like October ain’t mine
(I put my best pitch in your dome) You know how many best pitches I own?
Don't let me get in my zone, don't let me get in my zone
Don't let me get in my zone, don't let me get in my zone
The fans is in the building, they hands is to the ceiling
I know I’m 'bout to kill it (how you know?) I got that feeling
Watch what's about to be thrown, don't let me into my zone
Don't let me into my zone (I’m definitely in my zone)