The St. Louis Cardinals announced Wednesday that Game 6 of the 2011 World Series would be postponed because starting pitcher Chris Carpenter "did not give a [Carpenter]" about weather patterns that suggested the game might be playable under regular season circumstances. 

Carpenter, who could appear in a potential Friday night Game 7, walked into John Mozeliak's Busch Stadium office and declared himself "Head of the [Carpentering] Weather Committee, Chairman of the [Carpentering] Cancel-the-Game Board, Dear [Carpentering] Leader of the Permanent Juche Revolution! [Carpenter]!" an office that had earlier belonged to MLB Commissioner Bud Selig. 

Game 6 will be played Thursday night, pending further review from the Cancel-the-Game board. Game 7 has been moved to Friday night, a move which potential Game 7 starter Kyle Lohse described as, "Okay, so long as we're not bumping Fringe. Are we bumping Fringe? Hey, did you ever hear if there was going to be another X-Files movie? The second one was just okay, but I'd totally watch another one."