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The Return of The Saint Louis Zombie Cardinals: Eating Derek Lilliquist

"So, you're all zombies now?" Asked general manager John Mozeliak. Every player in the locker room nodded in agreement. Mo looks pensive. "Have you eaten anyone lately?" "No, sir," answered center fielder Jon Jay. "Ever since we made the World Series, Saint Louis police is making the city all safe and stuff and Carp can't go on his patented murder binges."

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