I'm Tony La Russa, Bitch!
by bgodar on Oct 17, 2011 12:29 AM EDT
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Whatup, haters? Remember me? I'm the guy who traded that hot, young prospect for a bunch of old-ass pitchers and three-month rentals. How'd that shit work out? What? I can't hear you over ALL THE CHAMPAGNE BEING POURED IN MY EARS.
That's right. I'm Tony La Russa - you better recognize. When I'm not rescuing baby animals I'm GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES. I know some of you read that Moneyball crap. Well tell me this, has "moneyball" ever pulled the kind of crazy shit that I just pulled? Tell me, seriously, because I have not read the book and only have a cursory understanding of its contents.
Yes, I told Colby Rasmus to take a hike. Didn't like the cut of his jib. You know where he is now? At a karaoke bar in Canada... probably with Scott Rolen and Anthony Reyes. You don't like it? I got news for you. I'm putting together the World Series roster right now, and I'm penciling in Aaron Miles and Cal Eldred. Believe it.
Did you see how I managed that bullpen? I managed the SHIT out of it. For the World Series: No more starting pitchers. Not enough for me to do. We will open the game out of the bullpen, and for each batter, I will choose a pitcher who best matches up and/or who has not pissed me off recently. Call me "The Puppetmaster." No, seriously, I really would like for that to be a thing that catches on.
If I can be real for just a moment: I know that a manager is always under scrutiny. There were some dark days for this team when it looked like my ego was driving us into the ground. So for all those true blue Cardinals fans who lost faith, I'd just like to say, from the bottom of my heart... WASH MY BALLS! I'M TONY LA RUSSA, BITCH!
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funniest thing I’ve read all day. "Did you see how I managed that bullpen? I managed the SHIT out of it.’
What? I can’t hear you over ALL THE CHAMPAGNE BEING POURED IN MY EARS.
"No, it seems to me that Wednesday night isn’t what makes baseball great. It’s all the years you spend waiting for Wednesday night that makes baseball great."--Posnanski
by nota bene on Oct 17, 2011 1:56 AM EDT reply actions 4 recs
I love it when a plan comes together!!
Boy a frosty cold Budweiser would be great about now"…long pause…then an "aahhh". --Mike Shannon
by KYCards on Oct 17, 2011 3:20 AM EDT reply actions 6 recs
I can only assume
that this is how Tony really talks when the cameras are off.
by DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver on Oct 17, 2011 4:47 PM EDT reply actions
Awesome.
You still shouldn’t have traded Colby. But win the series and I’ll be first in line for the ball washing. D.GOOCH
Awesome.
Didn’t like the cut of his jib.
This made me laugh really hard.
Mike Shannon: "That strikeout was brought to you by...by...well, I don't know what it was brought to you by!"
John Rooney: "It wasn't brought to you by anything Mike."
Holy shit this was hilarious
Secretary of WAR and defense (Tyler Greene Fanclub). PUT TYLER ON THE GREENE.
I couldn't believe we traded Colby for $.50 on the dollar...
….but yeah, TLR is the man….I was wrong…..this post was genius….
formerly NeilLomaxFan
by BrothersGottaAndyHug on Oct 18, 2011 3:06 PM EDT reply actions
(writes controversial pro-larussa post analyzing each managerial contribution to the cards' post-season run)
(is not ballsy enough to post on VEB due to fear of backlash)
(reads this immensely popular pro-larussa fanpost)
(cries)
(laughs at “I’m putting together the World Series roster right now, and I’m penciling in Aaron Miles and Cal Eldred. Believe it.”)
(cries again)
"on gameday it says duke loves to face the four seamer and hates to face the four seamer" -VolsnCards5
"perhaps it's a computer joke about the duality of man." -tom s.
by Tudor's Electric Fan on Oct 20, 2011 10:39 AM EDT reply actions
this thread needs this image:
They say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger...
by Valatan on Oct 27, 2011 11:24 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs
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