Hustle Fixation: A Play in One Act
HUSTLE FIXATION
A VIVA EL BIRDOS PLAY IN ONE ACT
CHARACTERS
TONY LA RUSSA, who is seeing
A SPORTS PSYCHOLOGIST, who is seeing
THE GHOST OF ROSS BARNES, who is being seen by
RYAN THERIOT, who is seeing
THE LEAGUE OF GRIT, who is pointedly not seeing
THE MASKED SHORTSTOP, who is just too tall.
SCENE
THE SPORTS PSYCHOLOGIST has seen a number of strange cases in his day. He's the sports psychologist who convinced an 18-year-old Rick Ankiel he should give pitching a shot. He suggested to Joe Morgan that maybe he was so resentful because he wanted to be in Moneyball. He recently told David Freese that the ankle problems were psychosomatic, which he's beginning to regret.
But he has never seen a case quite like TONY LA RUSSA.
PSYCHOLOGIST: So you hustled, yourself.
LA RUSSA: I don't know why we keep going back to this. Yes, I hustled. I scrapped until I was so covered in grit that it was only the bigness of my heart that kept me going. If we're going to—this just doesn't seem relevant to me.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Well—I. I'm going to show you some baseball cards, and I just want you to tell me the first thing you think about when you see them. Is that all right?
LA RUSSA: Yeah, I love this thing—with the sex pictures, right? Go on. [Mike Gallego] Playing the game the right way, definitely. [Joe McEwing] Heart. Out the wazoo. [Ryan Theriot] Just doing the things that don't show up in the box score, you know? [Aaron Miles] Oh, that's two guys doing it.
PSYCHOLOGIST:
LA RUSSA:
LA RUSSA: Sorry, you were holding it upside-down. That's true grit. John Wayne true grit, not Coen brothers true grit.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Now I want you to tell me what you see when I show you—this. [The PSYCHOLOGIST produces a gem mint 1970 TONY LA RUSSA card.]
LA RUSSA: I see a—a failure. A six-foot tall failure. I thought it was the gritty move to falsify your listed height, but once they saw that on my baseball card I was done for good.
PSYCHOLOGIST: They?
LA RUSSA: I've already said too much. I—I think I'm finally making some progress, doc. It's starting to make sense to me, now. I need to impress them, so I've been hiring them, but really I—I just want to have been one of them. Doc?
[THE PSYCHOLOGIST is distracted because two ghosts have appeared at the doorway. THE GHOST OF CHRISTY MATHEWSON appears to be explaining something to THE GHOST OF ROSS BARNES, who doesn't seem especially impressed by it.]
MATHEWSON: I say, friend La Russa, that it is I! The Ghost of Christy Mathewson! Here once more to offer a steadying hand on the Perfecto tiller! Why—I'd like to swear an oath, Barnes, the Sicilian appears to have ignored me as though I were a racketeering law...
BARNES: I knew he wouldn't be able to see us, Nancy.
MATHEWSON: Christy. Or Matty. Or—why is it he can't see us, Barnes?
BARNES: I can sense a man of eighteen hands from fifty furlongs!—we're on league business, Mathewson, and in-visible to this six-footed impostor! Get me to the Cajun, that I may teach him the ways of the League of Grit.
PSYCHOLOGIST: You—you're not hearing the two English gents behind you?
LA RUSSA: I only wish I were.
MATHEWSON: Englishmen? You re-prehensible cur, you, ha, ha, Freudian Fraud, you—sure as Captain Matty's an American I'll—[BARNES, looking a little disgusted, vanishes them both.]
[RYAN THERIOT has never been inside the Cardinals locker room, and he was surprised, when he poked around this afternoon, to see that it wasn't empty. THE MASKED SHORTSTOP, emerging from a dark corner of the introduced himself and suggested he pull up a chair.]
SHORTSTOP: Yeah, I was just really excited to meet you, is all. I was wondering if you could, you know, tell me your plans. What positions you like to play, how you feel about Skip Schumaker, whatever. Do you like videogames?
THERIOT: I, ah— [THERIOT jumps, as though he has seen a ghost. THE MASKED SHORTSTOP does nothing, as though he has seen Joel Pineiro.]
SHORTSTOP: Joel! How've you been! It's me, the—the masked shortstop!
BARNES: That man's 18 and a half hands sure as I'm Charles Roscoe Barnes! What's he doing here, Cajun?
SHORTSTOP: Are you a ghost? I think I saw you hanging around Aaron Miles's locker a few years ago. I see ghosts basically all the time, it's no big deal. I was the last person to see Brad Penny alive, and then the first person to see Brad Penny dead.
MATHEWSON: It's—it's nice to see you again, Mr. Shortstop. What-say you and the old Pop-Gun of Rio Piedras "chew the fat", "as-it-were", in the visiting team's parlor? [They depart.]
BARNES: Cajun, I think you know why I'm here.
THERIOT: Commander Barnes. [THERIOT gives a stiff bow.]
BARNES: I've been sent here especially by the League to educate you in the fine art of slobber-knockery. I have prepared a list of methods with which I assume you are familiar, starting with the fair-foul bunt—
THERIOT: Not legal anymore.
BARNES: Not legal—why, I daresay I do not know whether to be more concerned with your respect for the law or the fact that the most dangerous play in base ball has been out-lawed! I once bunted a ball so foul that the other team's catching-stop collapsed of exhaustion chasing it behind the grandstand! Now, then, if I could just see your bunting-bat I am proud enough to say no White, Italians excepted, has ever shaved a flat bat so successfully as I—
THERIOT: Also banned.
BARNES: Garfield's corpse this boils my blood. Are your spikes sharp?
THERIOT: I'm more a rubber-spike guy.
BARNES: Have you practiced the Baltimore Chop? The Troy Harangue? The Providence Icepick? The Keokuk Guillotine?
THERIOT: Are those all places?
BARNES: I daresay the League will hear about this. Just open your locker that I may see that your revolver is in order and you and I will go down to "Old "Hoss's"" saloon and learn all about—
BARNES: By Franz Mesmer's god-forsaken whiskers I am beginning to suspect you aren't carrying a revolver. Just what did the League tell you about grittiness upon completion of the initiation rites? Or did the cat-o-nine-tails make you deaf? Dickey Pearce and "Death to Flying Things" Ferguson made me so delirious I thought for some time that I had joined the freemasons.
THERIOT: I just went into their offices and they told me to go out there and play hard every day and give these guys all that I've got. Other than that I pretty much just play baseball.
BARNES: God's teeth, they've turned you all into Nancy Mathewson. Go volunteer at the orphan-yard, Cajun, or however it is you spend your sober hours. I'm going to see if that masked short-stop can stoop. I once saw a man dressed just like him wrestle an orangutan behind a tenement in the Five Points. That's true grit. Orangutan-fighting true grit, not John Wayne true grit.
SHORTSTOP: Did you know that orangutans have been known to use tools to escape from their enclosures?
MATHEWSON: Fascinating!
BARNES: I'm leaving. None of you follow me.
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Comments
Second
umad VEB? [trollface.jpg]
I'm not trolling, just being sarcastic.
by hr on Dec 3, 2010 5:32 PM EST up reply actions
Your typo of "Fist" instead of "First" reminds me of the name I gave my brother's first car.
“Fist Canseco” – I would constantly write it in the body dirt.
Mike Shannon: "That strikeout was brought to you by...by...well, I don't know what it was brought to you by!"
John Rooney: "It wasn't brought to you by anything Mike."
by SheckieZx on Dec 3, 2010 5:53 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
well nevermind then.
“fist” is always better than “first” anyways.
Mike Shannon: "That strikeout was brought to you by...by...well, I don't know what it was brought to you by!"
John Rooney: "It wasn't brought to you by anything Mike."
yes
Asshattery: it's an epidemic.
Second base….I’ve played second base, how hard can it be? -TLR
Also, Dave Concepcion.
But
if you mean to make a typo, then is it truly a typo? Can you make a typo when trying to make a typo?
I'm just being argumentative.
Asshattery: it's an epidemic.
Second base….I’ve played second base, how hard can it be? -TLR
Also, Dave Concepcion.
no you aren't?!
I'm like a polygon, I'm edgy.
Resident malcontented betamale
by slu on Dec 3, 2010 9:33 PM EST up reply actions
How's this for argumentative
I’m blood typo negative.
Albert Pujols does not have "down" years. He has "~6 WAR" years.
it's a mock typo?
Baseball is only a game. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole.
by Dave Pendleton on Dec 4, 2010 11:03 AM EST up reply actions
it's a meme, people
and if you value your life, don’t mention it to spants.
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
It's a typo meme.
It’s a memo.
Too stupid and sissy-like to say that you want out.
You make the eyes of a million girls and think you'll make them shout.
by The Continental on Dec 4, 2010 11:36 AM EST up reply actions
I love it!
I’d like to hear Robin Williams do this.
Thumbs up, DanUp!
Baseball is only a game. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole.
The trade made for Theriot
Was not very good. I understand that Theriot is somewhat proven, but I believe Hawkesworth has more of an upside than Boggs. It makes me sick to think that the cards can get rid of a serviceable pitcher and shortstop for slightly better offense. If they do get rid of Ryan, it better be worth it… But really, Mo, keep Ryan!
Boggs is much better than Hawk.
The trade was ok, if T.H Eriot was going to play second.
Asshattery: it's an epidemic.
Second base….I’ve played second base, how hard can it be? -TLR
Also, Dave Concepcion.
That's what I'm talking about.
Baseball is only a game. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole.
by Dave Pendleton on Dec 4, 2010 11:05 AM EST up reply actions
Hawksworth has been a sub-replacement level pitcher in his career. He’s just not very good. He’s the kind of guy you trade for another guy who’s about to be non-tendered.
by Willie McGee's Twin on Dec 3, 2010 6:20 PM EST up reply actions
I gotta say it...
Hawk was pretty much Soup version 2.0
"When a pitcher's throwing a spitball, don't worry and don't complain, just hit the dry side like I do." - Stan Musial
"When I knocked a guy down, there was no second part to the story." - Bob Gibson
"Son, what kind of pitch would you like to miss." - Dizzy Dean
what's boggs got to do with it
i don’t agree that hawk is better than boggs, i actually don’t think it has any founding in reality. but either way, they’re both completely replaceable. and the trade’s implications for boog doesn’t really have anything to do with how good a hawksworth theriot swap is. i think the trade itself is pretty solid. deal from an area of strength and surplus to improve an area of weakness and shortage
Stand inside an empty tuxedo with grapes in my mouth, waiting for Ada
twatter
For the record I think Hawks will turn into a decent number 4 starter...
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
it is
a #5 would be kinda pushing it
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 9:59 PM EST up reply actions
really? I think Boggs has the upside
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 7:25 PM EST up reply actions
Boggs has a fastball with zip and movement
and a decent slider. I think he has some value. Hawksworth’s predicted future value, on the other hand, is decidedly meh.
Boggs could end up being a good closer some day
that reminds me, do you think they’ll convince Penny to give them a really good deal? probably would only make sense if he moves to the pen (he is penny after all)
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 8:10 PM EST up reply actions
I'm just worried about him getting hurt again
more innings means more chance he will get hurt. but it would also be nice Lohse insurance if he is totally ineffective or if the motocross surgery gets re-injured
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 8:36 PM EST up reply actions
we have five starters
and mo’ said he has no intention of adding another reliever. i don’t see it happening
Stand inside an empty tuxedo with grapes in my mouth, waiting for Ada
twatter
no big loss
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 9:06 PM EST up reply actions
one more thing
penny was worth 1.1 WAR over his 55IP as a starter.
Our most valuable reliever (motte) was worth 0.6 WAR.
yeah, he's good
but whatever, he probably won’t be back. I just thought I heard a rumor somewhere about signing him again
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 9:07 PM EST up reply actions
Leach says he thinks the FO
was very displeased with his effort in his rehab, hence the not willing to give him another shot this year
"...football games always make me thankful for two things:
1. Teams that pass the ball downfield.
2. Baseball games. "
--DanUpBaby
I have always wondered if Penny is lazy
His mechanics are pretty decent, and the only good explanation is an utter lack of conditioning.
no way!
he had conditioning?
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
it had to have been air, fat people sweat a lot
All I've got is a broken heart, memories & dreams that I can't drink away
but
he has all this nice exercise equipment in his house
"Baseball is like Church, many attend, few understand" - Wes Westrum
that one guy's naked, right?
/guessing
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
chuck liddell
and some porn star too, i think. Its just the story with a link to the video in the story. If you are into that.
"Baseball is like Church, many attend, few understand" - Wes Westrum
nah, I heard about it
that’s why I didn’t click.
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
fat is a condition it is just a bad one
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
Penny = not coming back.
org. realized
was not rehabbing
instead hooking a fiancee
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
it does rather suggest itself, doesn't it
how odd
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
Depends
The point has been pretty much argued, but I like the Theriot addition under the right circumstances, and I think those circumstances will play out. TLR should, and likely will, use Theriot in a versitile role. IMO, if the Cards don’t get SOME value for B. Ryan, he will be on this team in 2011, and will see significant innings (maybe 30 or 40%) at SS.
Theriot can be a nice compliment to Schu, who moves into a primary 2B and super-utility role. Using Schu as a platoon partner for Craig if Jay struggles isn’t ideal, but it’s palatable. Having Theriot, B.Ryan and Schu as your middle infield doesn’t seem much worse than what some of us were pretty excited about last Spring, with Floppy in Theriot’s role.
I’d like to then see Mo add someone like Josh Fields on a small deal. If he’s right, he’s nice insurance for Freese. If not, it seems like a calculated risk (assuming he’s cheap, and I imagine he will be).
Craig
Who says Craig needs to be platooned? Why can’t he hit righties and lefties? Is there a law?
by Remember Kenny B on Dec 4, 2010 11:51 AM EST up reply actions
I think it's just to take advantage of Jay's defense
Have Craig hit lefties, whom he hits better (I assume, can’t remember) and you get Jay’s defense against righties. Jay hits righties better than he hits lefties. No idea if he hits righties better than Craig hits righties though.
Albert Pujols does not have "down" years. He has "~6 WAR" years.
...

Asshattery: it's an epidemic.
Second base….I’ve played second base, how hard can it be? -TLR
Also, Dave Concepcion.
by RiverRat on Dec 3, 2010 6:01 PM EST reply actions 6 recs
Well Written and Well Played sir!
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
A superior post
good sir. May you be presented with an abundance of fine tonics.
by infallibleopiniongenerator on Dec 3, 2010 6:21 PM EST reply actions
Someone please tell me how unreasonable my trade idea is...
Ryan, Cox etc… For Jose Reyes?
Miller is untouchable but how bout Lynn or Kmac ?
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
the thing that makes Reyes an unlikely target is what makes Rasmus an unlikely trade piece
the Mets have no good in house replacement
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
well Reyes is a free agent after next year...
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
player to be named later or something like that...
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
well fine.
then we’ll just have to start Theriot at SS.
are you happy now? (he says sarcastically)
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
don't worry, he's not eligible for a trade
and i think the proposal is bad. that’s a lot of value for one year of $11MM jose reyes
Stand inside an empty tuxedo with grapes in my mouth, waiting for Ada
twatter
Adrian Gonzalez to Boston is heating up from what I hear
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
If San Diego does this
Then they have officially given up on 2011. Kind of sad, actually.
by JWO on Dec 3, 2010 6:50 PM EST up reply actions
good for SD
they get some top prospects.
Unless they were going to sign Gonzalez this is good for them.
Also this is Bad for the Yankees which is a plus.
Although if I am a Pads fan I would be mucho pisso’d
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
I really don't understand why SD doesn't ever have the payroll
of a Colorado or STL they are one of the richest cities in the country, and have no other major sports competition
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
all I can assume is that people don't care about sports as much in SD
because it’s too nice all the time to be inside watching a game. Fuckers.
maybe if the Padres weren't the Marlins of the west coast
only without the winning, they would build a fanbase
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
I don't count those assholes
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
my 2nd favorite handegg team
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 4, 2010 3:41 PM EST up reply actions
Rooting for the Red Sox to One-Up the Yankees
Is like rooting for Pol Pot to beat Hitler (forgive the hyperbole).
Nobody wins.
by JWO on Dec 3, 2010 7:15 PM EST up reply actions
I would have said Mao
Since they’re both red.
Albert Pujols does not have "down" years. He has "~6 WAR" years.
he is hearing all MiLB players coming back
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
I read that as
From a friend in South Dakota.
I was confused for a minute, then I realized you weren’t using postal abbreviations.
Fanhouse
Agrees
http://mlb.fanhouse.com/2010/12/03/adrian-gonzalez-trade-talks-with-red-sox-heating-up-report-says/
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
See this is how you react to a suddenly good front office
http://www.amazinavenue.com/2010/12/3/1853556/alderson-on-mejia
You don’t have to be cocky d-bags like the Mariners fans.
When you're number six you have to deal with a lot of jealousy.
Enter vivaelpujols
My great wit allows me to interject that by assuming the partakers of this conversation are inbedded and perhaps romantically entangled, rather than indeed, the truthful observation that they are both platonic and standing upright. Great comedy may be produced!! -Aranathor
how about we sign [player who clearly can't play defense]
to play [position that he hasn’t played adequately in years]?
what could go wrong!
Stand inside an empty tuxedo with grapes in my mouth, waiting for Ada
twatter
by prophetjohn on Dec 3, 2010 7:04 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
I'd be all for this move if we didn't have that guy already
His name is Skip Schumaker.
HEY-OH!
OK, that was mean and I kind of regret it already.
Albert Pujols does not have "down" years. He has "~6 WAR" years.
i was chrome's adblocker didn't suck
can’t seem to block this massive, blue, entire background ad on the page. miss u, ABP. don’t really miss u, though, firefox
Stand inside an empty tuxedo with grapes in my mouth, waiting for Ada
twatter
i actually got it blocked right after that
and the adblocker on my laptop’s chrome did it automatically. not sure what was happening
Stand inside an empty tuxedo with grapes in my mouth, waiting for Ada
twatter
it was on FF earlier in the day & it's on Iron now
but it’s not on this page now, weird
All I've got is a broken heart, memories & dreams that I can't drink away
Standard Hollywood tease
THE LEAGUE OF GRIT gets a big mention but only a bit part.
Or will we see them in the sequel…
The Legend of Boog and The League of Grit
Now that, I would drop a ten spot on.
I suspect we'll have many a reason
to encounter the league of grit.
by infallibleopiniongenerator on Dec 4, 2010 12:56 AM EST up reply actions
When he said "fist"
the first thing that came to mind was that scene in Rushmore with Bill Murray after watching “Heaven and Hell”
"Were you in The Shit?"
I love that movie.
Albert Pujols does not have "down" years. He has "~6 WAR" years.
I'm a little disappointed
that DanUp didn’t pepper Theriot’s speech with a little Cajun flair. I could have used an I-gar-on-tee, or even an AYEE.
if theriot picks "lafayette blues" by the white stripes
As his walkup music, he can be replacement value all year.
"We were men - flesh and blood - and we played baseball in the sunshine. We hit doubles off the wall, slid hard into second base. We had fights, and we made love. We sang songs and prayed on Sundays. . . . We felt pain. And we felt joy. There was a lot wrong with the world. But we weren't sad, man. We had the times of our lives." Buck O'Neil, from "The Soul of Baseball: A Road Trip Through Buck O'Neil's America."
by tom s. on Dec 4, 2010 3:26 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Maybe this can inspire a satisfying VEB nickname
I nominate Dr. Zydeco. I think a form of music with washboards in it is kind of gritty.
Albert Pujols does not have "down" years. He has "~6 WAR" years.
tall ET

boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 10:26 PM EST reply actions
does JSF have a man crush
already?
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
boog and tallet should hang
try not to bother the serious players
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 11:06 PM EST up reply actions
bullpen clause, remember
and since Boog’s never pitched
he’s auto-shunned
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
crap
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 11:28 PM EST up reply actions
what we need
is Joe Mather
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
I'm not sure what to think of the whole situation
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 11:34 PM EST up reply actions
I await more information, personally.
I just go off when events start getting magically re-contextualized.
maybe they just can’t stand his secret nose-picking habit.
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
as long as he doesn't eat them
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 3, 2010 11:46 PM EST up reply actions
why do you think the clubhouse can't handle it!!!??!!
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
he's a freaking cannibal!!!!!
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 4, 2010 12:28 AM EST up reply actions
look at his picture
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
look again
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
Why didn't you just let me pitch Tony, whyyyyyy
Albert Pujols does not have "down" years. He has "~6 WAR" years.
pardon me while i stand & applaud, well done Danny boy
All I've got is a broken heart, memories & dreams that I can't drink away
as your publicist...
One act plays are great for your public persona! Keep ’em coming!
"...football games always make me thankful for two things:
1. Teams that pass the ball downfield.
2. Baseball games. "
--DanUpBaby
chicks dig one-acts?
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
is that the role of a publicist
to get their client laid?
"...football games always make me thankful for two things:
1. Teams that pass the ball downfield.
2. Baseball games. "
--DanUpBaby
i thought girlfriendup would have a problem with that
hence why I haven’t been very focused on that aspect of your public persona. I’m much more focused on your promotion from towel boy to ring girl
"...football games always make me thankful for two things:
1. Teams that pass the ball downfield.
2. Baseball games. "
--DanUpBaby
just explain to her that it is part of the marketing
and that while necessary they don’t mean anything to you
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
is Randy Moss up for adoption again?
(there might be a tasteless Vick joke in there, but I can’t think of it. probably for the best.)
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
I disagree
From 2006-2008, Lohse pitched 519 innings and was a 7.2 WAR pitcher per FanGraphs. From 2008-2010, Arroyo pitched 636 innings and was a 5.7 WAR pitcher per FanGraphs. FanGraphs uses FIP for pitcher WAR and Arroyo has outperformed his FIP bit a bit over his career, so let’s say that he was a bit better than FanGraphs is giving him credit for. But still, Lohse was clearly a better pitcher prior to his extension, and was younger as well. And Lohse contract was probably better (1 more year for 6 million).
lohse was also quite a bit younger than arroyo is right now
Stand inside an empty tuxedo with grapes in my mouth, waiting for Ada
twatter
and Lohse was signed right before the market went lower
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 4, 2010 1:09 AM EST up reply actions
and the Reds had the option...
of a 1/13, while we had to go multiple years to retain Lohse.
Screw you, you freakin stats nerd
though I see now that the reds already had him signed at the same rate for 2011
I will always hate that move, carpenter’s extension included.
they're about equally bad
although Lohse’s has been hurt drastically by the injury
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 4, 2010 1:06 AM EST up reply actions
paying nearly 12mil per season for Arroyo is just nutty though
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 4, 2010 1:07 AM EST up reply actions
Bubbles because he's on our team
All I've got is a broken heart, memories & dreams that I can't drink away
So the Yankees are going to pay a 39 year old Derek Jeter 19 million
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
does this say something about the marketability of a player?
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 4, 2010 1:30 AM EST up reply actions
yeah it says that the Rockies had one shot at locking up Tulo
because otherwise he was up for FA the year Jeter’s contract ends. Jeter has been Mister Yankee so on that front I kind of understand it but, 19 Mil is serious money.
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
Ballpark Village close to actually being built?
First phase of the project includes 225,000 square feet of office space and 100,000 square feet of retail space. Tallest building would only be 14 stories tall…not like the 25 stories that were originally discussed waaay back when.
Apparently they have tennants for all the retail and office space of the first pahse. Any guesses? I’m assuming they’ll build a radio station in BPV for KMOX too…
Bob Feller is THE prime example of a cranky old man...working with him a 8:00 AM has to be one of the most dangerous jobs in America.
get that Viva El Bar money ready!!!!
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
the bar won't be there, i don't want drunk hoosiers coming in after games
i am still taking donations
All I've got is a broken heart, memories & dreams that I can't drink away
But Indiana is a whole state away...
Brendan Ryan is still a St. Louis Cardinal.
Aaron Miles is not.
i'll believe it when i see it
All I've got is a broken heart, memories & dreams that I can't drink away
Dan, I love all your one act plays, but...
this one was truly exceptional. I loved every line of it.
Bravo, good sir.
He hit it good. He hit it good.
O I SEE WAT U DID THAR
Boston reluctantly lets Jed Hoyer take over the Pads.
Pads send AGon to Boston.
coincidence…..?!!?!
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
yeah, massive reply-fail.
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
AGon to Boston is good news for us
We now don’t have to worry about Boston or the Yankee’s to bid on Pujols. Still got problems with Mets and Angels though
by FlimtotheFlam on Dec 4, 2010 9:41 AM EST up reply actions
i note, though, that Jed Hoyer probably knows exactly which prospects will enhance the pads.
Lick that shoulder—you're in the doghouse now.
"But listen, and understand: more Molinas are out there..." - THT
explain please
in the pd today, it was repeated that a player taken in the rule 5 draft must stay on selecting team 25 man roster all year or be returned to original team
when perdomo was selected, he was put on waivers before being offered back to cards
what’s the real deal? did the cards pass on taking him back, and that’s why her ended up on waivers?
I may be in a rut, but at least I know where I'm going
...to DFA TLR
A player can be traded
But has to stay on that traded to team’s 25 man roster also
by FlimtotheFlam on Dec 4, 2010 9:56 AM EST up reply actions
i read he was out on waivers by giants
and cards had no chance to get him back
more mo speak?
I may be in a rut, but at least I know where I'm going
...to DFA TLR
Giants had priority before the Cardinals
by FlimtotheFlam on Dec 4, 2010 10:11 AM EST up reply actions
giants put him on waivers
pads got him, not us
pads still got him
I may be in a rut, but at least I know where I'm going
...to DFA TLR
They had a lower record than us
So they had priority before us
by FlimtotheFlam on Dec 4, 2010 11:56 AM EST up reply actions
If we have to trade Ryan...Heath Bell anyone?
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2010/12/padres-will-absolutely-trade-heath-bell.html
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
He seems overrated...
in 67 games he retired the side in order 15 times. A closer should do better than that. I don’t know if he’s worth $6-7 million period, let alone that plus decent player(s).
Screw you, you freakin stats nerd
I concur with the overratedness
my question is what is Ryan worth..what should we expect back in a trade if he is indeed moved.
do we get any overrated closer or prospects?
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
man im glad im not a padres fan
they are gutting that team
This guys so good(Pujols) He should be illegal-Pirates announcers
If I was a Padres fan I would be glad they are selling high on Bell
Gonzalez seems to have brought back at least 3 of Bostons top 10 prospects plus a PTBNL again a good haul for young team
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
Yeesh...
looks like Adrian Gonzalez is getting 7/165 for his age 30-36 seasons. https://twitter.com/SI_JonHeyman/status/11087587699597312
That’s $24 million per. Pujols is better and two years older – I don’t see how the Cards argue he worth less than $30 million a year.
Screw you, you freakin stats nerd
I don't think anyone would argue that he isn't worth more than 30 Mil
but I think everyone is hoping he takes less. On the bright side that means the biggest competitors for Pujols’ services Boston(Gonzalez) NYY Det(Miggy) Philly(Howard) are all stocked at APu’s position, it looks like LAA, Washington, and the Muts are the three teams that could afford to gamble on dropping a huge wad on Apu
Who ever heard of the Cubs losing a game they had to have? Frank Chance 1908
Too many players a rung below Pujols are netting low 20s per year.
I can’t see how he gets nothing less than $28 mill per.
You fit into me
like a hook into an eye
a fish hook
an open eye
here's hoping they can get him to sign for a bit higher
like 26 per and then defer a good amount of the money on an annual basis. Whatever the case, this team’s payroll has to increase if we’re gonna take that on.
might be able to get 27.5
but my guess has been 28 mil for a while now. probably for like 5 or 6 years
boog at shortstop makes the starting pitching a lot better
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Dec 4, 2010 3:43 PM EST up reply actions

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