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Santa Glaus Spotted Over St. Louis

"NORAD's Santa Tracker, famous for tracking Santa Claus's progress through gentile neighborhoods across America, spotted something strange as it scanned the skies of St. Louis Christmas morning. Troy "Santa" Glaus, the Cardinals' snakebitten starting former third baseman, was spotted tearing his hamstring on the roof of the Freese household Saturday morning around 2 AM." Merry Christmas, everybody.

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