2009 Cardinals Players Nicknames Challenge
by arch support on Apr 1, 2009 5:48 PM EDT
112 comments
The competition to determine, once and for all, the Official 2009 Cardinals Players’ Nicknames (all nicknames are unofficial, offer void in Tennessee).
Nicknames are a hallmark of baseball, possibly as old as the game itself. A good nickname for a player is like a poem: it fits seamlessly with their given name and tells a whole story about them in one or two words.
Yes, the nickname in baseball is as natural as the chocolate chips in a cookie. And the Cardinals are a team steeped in good nicknames as they are in all traditions of baseball. Reminisce with me about the halcyon days when the field was patrolled by men like:
“Sunny” Jim Bottomley
Lou “The Franchise” Brock
“The Baby Bull”, Orlando “Cha Cha” Cepeda
Jay Hanna “Dizzy” Dean
Leo “The Lip” Durocher
Frankie “The Fordham Flash” Frisch
Bob “Hoot” Gibson
Marty “Slats” Marion
Joe “Ducky” Medwick
Johnny “Big Cat” Mize
Stan “The Man” Musial
Ken “Zamboni” Reitz
Enos “Country” Slaughter
Lonnie “Skates” Smith
Ozzie “The Wizard” Smith
And remember, too, some of the great nicknames throughout all of baseball:
“Hammerin’” Hank Aaron
Richie “Putt-Putt” Ashburn
James “Cool Papa” Bell
Johnny “Little General” Bench
Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown
Charlie “The Old Roman” Comiskey
Bob “The Heater from Van Meter” Feller
Lou “The Iron Horse” Gehrig (or one I would love to know the story behind: “Biscuit Pants”)
Walter “The Big Train” Johnson
Greg “Mad Dog” Maddux
Christy “Big Six” Mathewson
Willie “The Say Hey Kid” Mays
Willie “Stretch” McCovey
“The Sultan of Swat”, George Herman “Babe” Ruth
Duke “The Silver Fox” Snider
Ted “The Splendid Splinter” Williams
Ah. Smell the pine tar and chewing tobacco.
Now, I would posit that the art of nicknames leaves something to be desired in the modern day. Sure, there are a handful of good nicknames on the field right now,
Sean “The Mayor” Casey
Jeff “Frenchie” Francoeur
Travis “Pronk” Hafner
Roy “Doc” Halladay
Dan “Caveman” Haren
Frank “Big Hurt” Thomas (not technically employed right now, but not officially retired)
Shane “The Flyin’ Hawaiian” Victorino
(All nicknames per Wikipedia)
but mostly, modern major league nicknames are not-so-clever tricks with the player’s name: like “A-Rod”, “Man-Ram”, “Smoltzy”. You can see what I mean here.
A good nickname requires a few things:
First, the nickname should not be based on the player’s real name. It may be something that rhymes with part of a player’s name, but it shouldn’t just be their name with different parsing (A-Rod) or their name with a suffix (Smoltzy).
Second, the nickname should actually have something to do with the player himself, not just a cute addition that makes his name sound funny (I’m looking at you, Chris Berman). For example, Hafner is called “Pronk” because his former teammate, Bill Selby, combined what were Hafner’s two nicknames, both about his abilities on the field: “The Project” and “Donkey” (Wiki link). As a different case, take Roy Halladay. “Doc” was appended to him because it combines with his last name to sound like the Old West gunslinger and boozer Doc Holliday. “Now,” you might say, “That’s just a cute addition, something you were deriding earlier.” Ah, but “Doc” also connotes Halladay’s senior position on the pitching staff, that he’s the best, the most experienced, and the most repected pitcher his team’s got. So, to me “Doc” is a good nickname.
Third, the nickname has to be at least marginally original. Could Albert Pujols be called “The Splendid Splinter”? His talent level would certainly qualify. But the unoriginality of the nickname would doom it to failure. Countless Red Sox fans would cry out “Wuddah you, retahded? Pujols is no Teddy Ballgame!” And God knows the last thing we want to do is piss off New England fans in their era of sports dominance. <sarcasm>
What about Pujols’ most common nicknames currently? “The Mang” is a co-opt (some might argue an ethnically insensitive one) of Stan Musial’s nickname. And it sounds too much like “The Man”. So for me, it doesn’t make the cut. “The Machine” seems pretty fitting given Albert’s consistently great play year to year, but I wouldn’t have even known people called him that if it weren’t for Wikipedia. The fact that it hasn’t caught on (to me at least, let me know if you disagree) means it’s off my list. How about “El Hombre”? This one seems pretty golden to me. One could argue that it too is a co-opt of Musial’s nickname, and in a sense it is. But in this case, borrowing seems to work. “El Hombre” is different enough from “The Man” that you wouldn’t confuse the two. Further, it implies something about Pujols: that alongside Musial, he’s arguably the best position player the Cardinals have ever had. That the nickname is Spanish pays tribute to his Dominican roots. And “El Hombre” ties Pujols in to Cardinal history: what an honor to share a nickname with Stan Musial, even if they’re in different languages. To me, “El Hombre” is the winner.
But that’s not only for me to decide, which brings me to the reason for this Fanpost (long story short….too late).
I put it to you, the most knowledgeable gathering of Cardinals fans (who also have internet access), to create, nay, discover great nicknames for the 2009 Cardinals.
Some ground rules for the ensuing discussion:
1.) The nickname should not be just a play on the player’s real name, e.g. Ryan “Thudwick” Ludwick. Think Old School nicknames. (We can debate whether “Wagonmaker” or “Cobbler” should be acceptable for Wainwright and Skip.)
2.) The nickname must be about the player himself, not just a cute appellation, e.g. Winnie the Pujols (God, I hate Berman).
3.) And finally, the name must be original enough so that no other well known player in the history of baseball would share it (we can argue the particulars of “well known” should an issue arise).
An example of a Cardinal player with what these rules would consider a perfect nickname is Todd “The Colonel” Wellemeyer. It meets all the criteria and it’s pretty cool to think “Alright, the Colonel’s pitching today.” Another example: Jason “’Stache” LaRue.
And now, what players to include…. Since the 25 man roster has not yet been finalized, I’ll include any players who have a realistic chance of heading north. Let me know if you disagree with this list and I can make changes.
Rick/Dick Ankiel
Brian Barden
Chris Carpenter
Chris Duncan
Ryan Franklin
David Freese
Khalil Greene
Josh Kinney
Jason LaRue
Kyle Lohse
Ryan Ludwick
Joe Mather
Trever Miller
Yadier Molina
Jason Motte
Kyle McClellan
Joel Pineiro
Albert Pujols
Colby Rasmus
Dennys Reyes
Brendan Ryan
Skip Schumaker
Brad Thompson
Joe Thurston
Adam Wainwright
Todd Wellemeyer
(sorry the list is so freaking long....couldn't figure out a multi-column format)
Some of these players already have well known nicknames that would qualify under the established nickname rules (Brad “Puppy Kicker” Thompson, Todd “The Colonel” Wellemeyer). But I didn’t want to include any established nicknames since that’s not for me to decide. If the VEB community comes to a consensus that WonderBrad (there’s another one) should officially be known as “Puppy Kicker”, then all the better.
I don’t expect to get a good nickname for every one of these players. I mean, what the hell could we call Trever Miller anyway? But it would be cool to get a solidified good nickname for the most beloved players: Pujols, Wainwright, Carpenter, Molina, etc..
I think the best way to do this is for people to shout out their suggestions in the comments and see which ones get the most applause. If one player has two nickname suggestions that the community cannot decide on, I could submit a subsequent Fanpost where that player’s nicknames are put to a poll. We’ll see if it gets that far. When the nicknames seem decided (or whenever people lose interest), I’ll post again with the results. And I expect everyone to memorize them and use them profusely during the season.
So what do you say, VEB? Who’s the next player to have a nickname as awesome as Cool Papa Bell?
5 recs |
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Wasn't Shannon
the one who came up with “The Machine” for Albert? Maybe he didn’t originate it, but I know that I have heard him call APu that countless time. I think that might actually be my second favorite nickname for Albert.
As for Trevor Miller; he should definitely be called Crappy (or Crappy Beer Knight, that is even better!).
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
and....BEN SHEETS!!! **
**not that BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment, just BEN SHEETS!!!
(BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment)
by mattyfrommo on Apr 1, 2009 6:44 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Thought it was someone on BP...
Space.
It's a problem we face.
So we never go anywhere.
We just stay in one place.
by hazel on Apr 2, 2009 10:10 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Where's
Al “The Mad Hungarian” Hrabosky??
Cardwash Definition: Birds on the Nat.
OHHH YEAHHHH!!!!!!!
by cardwash on Apr 3, 2009 11:36 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I guess I don't call any of these guys by nicknames
not derived by their names (ie, Yadi, Dunc, Carp). Except El Hombre, which continues to be a great nickname.
hecanthithecanthithecanthithecanthit
by Alxfritz on Apr 1, 2009 6:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
The Bard
for barden, I dunno, aren’t nicknames supposed to be unofficial?
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 1, 2009 7:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
ah what the heck I have nothing but time right now
Rick/Dick Ankiel – ’Ammerin Ank
Brian Barden – Bard
Chris Carpenter – Carp
Chris Duncan – lil Big Dunc
Ryan Franklin – Frankenstein (or alcoholism inducer)
David Freese – Freezer
Khalil Greene – Spockoli
Josh Kinney – j/k
Jason LaRue – Cowboy Larue
Kyle Lohse – Winner/Lohser
Ryan Ludwick – Luddy, Studwick, Ludster, Luddarino
Joe Mather – Joey Bombz, Joe Masher
Trever Miller – Trev Mill
Yadier Molina – Yadi, Turtle, Sniper
Jason Motte – Applesauce, Flamethrower, the one true power
Kyle McClellan – can’t remember if we had one or not, nothing comes to mind
Joel Pineiro – Pinata, Pinner, Pinpoint (he better place that ball well)
Albert Pujols – The Mang, El Hombre, Legend, APu
Colby Rasmus – Razzle, Razzums, Colby Jack
Dennys Reyes – Breakfast, Denny’s, The New King
Brendan Ryan – Shoulderlicker, Spunk, thorn in tony’s side
Skip Schumaker – Schu, Cobbler, Skippy
Brad Thompson – PK, Tenacious B, BT
Joe Thurston – Thursty
Adam Wainwright – Wagonmaker, Wainer
Todd Wellemeyer – The Colonel, Welley
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 1, 2009 8:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
it
should be
Jason Fu Manchu LaRue
OR!!!!!
Jason Bruiser LaRue, classic
Cardwash Definition: Birds on the Nat.
OHHH YEAHHHH!!!!!!!
by cardwash on Apr 3, 2009 11:40 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
fu manchu works
although he does like to eliminate varmints
4B - beer baseball bands blog
cmon and let the games begin
confusion will be my epitaph
I think I have more sigs than gdm now, hah!
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 3, 2009 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
i've called Greene Spicoli for years!
I’m a huge rockies fan as well and saw him play a lot and always called him Spicoli.
McClellan is KMac
Albert is God
Wainright is Waino
Ducan is Duncan Dip
Thompson is Bad Thompson
Ryan is Socks
Ankiel is the pitcher formerly known as Socks
by duncan dip on Apr 11, 2009 1:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
"Sniper" Molina
sounds totally bad ass (and certainly fitting).
Gregatron is not responsible for any of the crap he just wrote.
by Gregatron on Apr 12, 2009 11:02 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
My best guesses
Baby Huey / Lurch (Duncan), K-Bot (Greene), Josh 09 (Kinney – a play off the batboy from our World Series run), Chesty / Pornstache (LaRue), Joey Bombs (Mather), Applesauce / Angry Dwarf (Motte – c’mon, look at his Gameday pic), El Hombre (Pujols), Razzle (Rasmus), The Big Sweat (Reyes – I think someone mentioned this as being used by fans of previous teams), Shoulderlicker / Boog (Ryan – 2nd one is probably TM’d by Mr. Powell, but why not?), Cobbler / Jared (Schumaker), PK (Thompson), Wagonmaker / A.D.A.M. (Wainwright), Colonel / Todalion (Wellemeyer)
That said, the Cubs do deserve my pity, but never my support.
by Solanus on Apr 1, 2009 8:17 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
No time to post a list at the moment
But i do give you a rec for the time it must’ve taken you to put this together.
defy, cards, defy. hey logic --- you suck.
by effin fisk on Apr 1, 2009 8:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Here's my take
on some…
McClellan: Little Mac. same nickname as Gen. McClellan in the Civil War.
Khalil: The Prophet. See literature.
Brendan Ryan: Bobby D. Remember his Deniro impression?
C Dunc: Agreed – Lurch is the best ever.
Kinney: The Rascal. See his independent team.
Mather: Cotton. He already has this though.
There are some that have become VEB doctrine and probably can’t be changed:
Wagonmaker, Carp, The Colonel.
I have discovered in twenty years of moving around a ball park, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats. ~Bill Veeck
by bukowski on Apr 1, 2009 9:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
no nicknames, just my 2 cents
Do you mean that Kinney played for the River City Rascals? I am too drunk to do this right now. If so, I had the pleasure about 10? years ago to go to a Rascals game. Just a guestimate on the years. I am only 22 now and don’t remember much about the game beyond at least one homer coming over the wall and myself and other spectators scrambling for the ball, and getting the chance to talk to Jack Clark for a minute + his autograph, my “McGwire of the 80’s.” And a victory :) Did Clark coach for them? I feel like he was with the team in an important aspect. I was too young to remember at the time. Just remember the standing and chatting and autographing and feeling like I had to be the luckiest Cardinals fan for at least 1-3 minutes.
Regardless, I believe the aforementioned game was the first non-professional / non-school / non-local one that I have ever had the benefit of attending. It’s definitely a different atmosphere. Simply the size of the stadium totally morphs the gameplay. I never imagined having more fun at a game that “didn’t count.”
I think myself, and perhaps several others – before I get caught up in reading Cardinals news and blogs – or others get caught up in scrutinizing every last detail – that we need to be reminded that we are here for the love of the game. And not only the love of the game, but for us being blessed for having such a great franchise in the greatest professional sport to ever be played.
Lou Brock, I believe this spring, said, “"I love this more than anything. First, it’s cold back home in St. Louis, and I can do without that. But mostly, I love what this all means to me. The sound of a ball hitting a glove — pop! pop! pop! — is music to my ears. So is the crack of a bat. Those are sounds I’ll never grow tired of. It’s a symphony.”
I don’t know of a much better way to describe the resurrection of baseball after a harsh winter. Weather. Crack, crack, crack. Pop, pop, pop as Howard whiffs on 3 ABs vs. Carpenter. The general hub-ub, the background chatter noise, the usher you would sit down to talk and have a beer with.
It’s that time of the year again. I am going to an Opening Day game for the first time in my life. Just went to Spring Training for the first time in my life. Let’s go less on the projected 82-86? wins and more on the we-had-a-chance-in-2006-no-matter-what train of thought….
by leefyg on Apr 2, 2009 6:08 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Yes he played for the Rascals
"People call me El Hombre," Pujols said. "But only Stan is the Man."
by StLHugo on Apr 2, 2009 9:35 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Alright, I'll bite...
Ankiel, Roy Hobbs;
Barden, Wait, where are the dreds?;
Carpenter, Oh God, Please Be Healthy;
Duncan, Pack-That;
Franklin, Aw Shit;
Freese, Chilly;
Greene, Spicoli;
Kinney, Slider (you know, like Iceman’s partner in Top Gun?)
La Rue, Pornstache
Lohse, 41 Million?
Ludwick, LD Rate
Mather, The Tall Guy
Miller, SKINNY-LOOGY
Molina, Yoda
Motte, Applesauce or simply Sauce, Rec Specs
McClellan…I’ve got nothing based on the rules of the challenge
Piniero, One Bad Pitch or Pinata (I know, I know…that’s just who he is)
Pujols, (El Hombre is pretty obviously perfect, but…) Big Chief (“Big Chief! The best…” It works in my head)
Rasmus, The Future
Reyes, BIG-LOOGY
Ryan, Shoulder-Biter
Schumaker,…GOT NOTHING…Just Skippy I guess
Thompson, The Angry Batboy
Thurston, Thirsty
Wainwright, A.D.A.M. or Wagonmaker
Wellemeyer, The Colonel, DD PROJECT #37
"Your Holiness, I'm Joseph Medwick. I, too, used to be a Cardinal."-Joe Medwick, to Pope Pius XII.
by redbirdnation8206 on Apr 1, 2009 11:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Do you have Barden and Barton confused
or was that on purpose?
"People call me El Hombre," Pujols said. "But only Stan is the Man."
by StLHugo on Apr 2, 2009 9:35 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think it was on purpose
but maybe not?
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 2, 2009 1:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Intentional
I was commenting on the confusing fact that there is a player named Brian Barden on a team that used to have a player named Brian Barton. I’m sure there will be mix-ups amongst lay fans…such as “Wait, where are the dreds?”
"Your Holiness, I'm Joseph Medwick. I, too, used to be a Cardinal."-Joe Medwick, to Pope Pius XII.
by redbirdnation8206 on Apr 2, 2009 2:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I hope Miller doesn't become a reliever who induces people to drink
but it would work his name pretty well.
by TheBirds on Apr 3, 2009 12:09 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
even more reason I hope he does good
I don’t want to be drinking watered down beer
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 3, 2009 1:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
if we were the brewers
I would have him come out to “Miller Time”
"People call me El Hombre," Pujols said. "But only Stan is the Man."
by StLHugo on Apr 3, 2009 4:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Last year
I put this together on concerning nicknames of the Cardinals.
"I'm gonna throw the nastiest curveball I have ever thrown...if he hits it, I'll tip my cap, but if not we're going to the Series."
--Adam Wainwright on the final pitch of the 2006 NLCS
by bgh on Apr 2, 2009 12:49 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
These are always fun
Joe Mather just reminds me of a gorilla. I think it’s because of this picture. I’m trying to think of some Mighty Joe Young reference but I’m slow today.
Also, Albert Pujols might be too ineffable for a traditional nickname. Much like I proposed here the idea of the Albert Pujols Percentage to see how major league baseball players’ production measures up to the standard of Albert Pujols, the Pujols is kind of a force of nature now. It’s like the strong nuclear force or the speed of light or something. He’s simply “The Pujols”.
by mattybobo on Apr 2, 2009 1:09 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Pujols
I always liked the far too long to actually be his nickname: The Greatest Baseball Player in the World.
"I'm gonna throw the nastiest curveball I have ever thrown...if he hits it, I'll tip my cap, but if not we're going to the Series."
--Adam Wainwright on the final pitch of the 2006 NLCS
by bgh on Apr 2, 2009 4:08 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nicknames
Wainwright what about the vulcher
by fxster on Apr 2, 2009 7:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
What is a 'vulcher'?
Did you mean vulture?
There was Gibson in the Reds' dugout, visibly manhandling about three Reds and tossing them bodily out of the dugout and onto the field...He was the toughest athlete mentally I ever saw, and the greatest competitor. JACK BUCK
by ISawGodInGibby'sRightArm on Apr 3, 2009 12:41 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's a good one
But you gotta give an explanation too. Otherwise I could say something like “How about ‘Captain Cheeseball’ for Carp?”
I’d expect to get a lot of blank stares unless I explained it.
by arch support on Apr 3, 2009 11:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
My favorite...
Colby “The Razmanian Devil” Rasmus
Poker is generally reckoned to be America's second most popular after-dark activity. Sex is good, they say, but poker lasts longer.
-- Alfred Alvarez (2001)
by RayMonD! on Apr 2, 2009 11:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Colby
“J.D.” Rasmus
I am seeing similarities…not in a good way.
I will give the kid a chance, hoping for the best, I am just saying…
by birdsonbat on Apr 2, 2009 11:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
there are similarities
the both are outfielders, they both bat lefty
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
and....BEN SHEETS!!! **
**not that BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment, just BEN SHEETS!!!
(BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment)
by mattyfrommo on Apr 2, 2009 11:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
If Colby can play like JD and not have the injuries
That’d be great.
by TheBirds on Apr 3, 2009 12:11 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
heck yeah
if JD had a full year last year it would have been ridiculous
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 3, 2009 1:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I've taken to calling Duncan Bizzaro
They have quite a few similarities other then (I’m sorry Chris) the slightly misshapen appearance.They both have good intentions but are pretty oafish and their lack of finesse often draw criticism. Both big and strong.
I see him as sort of backwards version of Joe Mather (who would be Superman but I think Joey Bombs is a great nickname), they are about the same size, have principle differences in looks and athleticism, and even bat from opposite sides of the plate.
Not to insult Duncan though, who is on my good side….for now.
by TheBirds on Apr 3, 2009 12:03 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
oh yeah
I forgot about that one, that’s a good one!
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 3, 2009 1:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I like Bizarro
for Duncan. Seems to fit pretty well. Plus, it’s funny to imagine Chris speaking broken English in loud, angry tones…just seems right.
by arch support on Apr 3, 2009 11:32 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
A couple additions:
Chris “Sharp” Carpenter – referring to his good control and efficient manner
Ryan “the Bloom” Ludwick – in reference to his late but hot start
Other’s that I’m in favor of:
Albert El Hombre Pujols or The Machine, but I give the edge to El Hombre
Jason “the Stache” LaRue
Yadier “the Turtle” Molina -maybe La Tortuga to represent Puerto Rico?
Jason “Applesauce” Motte
Chris “Lurch” Duncan
Adam “Wagonmaker” Wainwright
Todd “the Colonel” Wellemeyer
Rick “The Natural” Ankiel
Joe “Joey Bombs” Mather even though he didn’t crack the roster
I don’t want to be a party pooper, but I don’t feel like everyone should have a nickname. Only the most colorful (Jason LaRue) and the best should have nicknames. I know everyone wants to give Rasmus a nickname, but to be honest, anything related to cheese or his last name is just kind of silly. I’d much rather we just called him Colby Rasmus until we can link a cheese-related nickname to his playing style which having not seen him in a major league game yet, we can’t really do…
by aaron_notmiles on Apr 3, 2009 12:22 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I agree on the nicknames arent for everyone
as for Rasmus, I just hope he is gouda-nough to stick in the majors.
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
and....BEN SHEETS!!! **
**not that BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment, just BEN SHEETS!!!
(BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment)
by mattyfrommo on Apr 3, 2009 10:13 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Don't have a problem
with everyone not having nicknames. I didn’t really want EVERYONE to have one. I was just hoping for some cool old school nicknames for some of our players.
by arch support on Apr 3, 2009 11:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
baddum ching!
4B - beer baseball bands blog
cmon and let the games begin
confusion will be my epitaph
I think I have more sigs than gdm now, hah!
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 3, 2009 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
The two that I like
that aren’t currently common, are
Chris “Crystal” Carpenter, because of how fragile he’s been (I know, I know, it’s sort of a negative one, and we all like him and hope for the best, but it’s just as much about his past as his present)
Albert “El Jefe” Pujols (riffing on redbirdnation8206)
There was Gibson in the Reds' dugout, visibly manhandling about three Reds and tossing them bodily out of the dugout and onto the field...He was the toughest athlete mentally I ever saw, and the greatest competitor. JACK BUCK
by ISawGodInGibby'sRightArm on Apr 3, 2009 12:35 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
My take
Rick/Dick Ankiel — Hobbs
Brian Barden — Romeo
Chris Carpenter — Carp
Chris Duncan — Lurch
Ryan Franklin — Gasoline
David Freese — Lenny
Khalil Greene — Spicoli
Josh Kinney — Shoes
Jason LaRue — ’Stache
Kyle Lohse — The Project
Ryan Ludwick — Renaissance
Joe Mather — Bombs
Trever Miller — LeFTG (Less Filling, Tastes Great)
Yadier Molina — Molasses
Jason Motte — Applesauce
Kyle McClellan — Red
Joel Pineiro — Pinata
Albert Pujols — El Hombre
Colby Rasmus — The Kid
Dennys Reyes — Muffintop
Brendan Ryan — Spaz
Skip Schumaker — Cobbler
Brad Thompson — Puppykicker
Joe Thurston — Happy Hour
Adam Wainwright — Wagonmaker
Todd Wellemeyer — The Colonel
"I just wish that the late Harry Caray were still around so I could hear him mispronounce 'Kosuke Fukudome' every fukun' night" -- Dennis Miller
by fourstick on Apr 3, 2009 9:57 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
A couple of those are pretty good
Ryan “Renaissance” Ludwick just rolls off the tongue.
And Molasses for Molina is a good one too.
by arch support on Apr 3, 2009 11:27 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
motte
applesauce is nice for motte, but I think that a nickname should always minimize sylables, so I say it is shorted to either ‘sauce’ or ‘the sauce’. THis also has the advantage of making the ‘applesauce’ reference a little more cryptic – ‘the sauce’ could simply refer to the crazy mustard he throws….
by cdb on Apr 3, 2009 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I just like the thought
of yelling “APPLESAUCE” after every Motte strikeout. Especially when watching with Cubs fans who think it’s pronounced MOH-TAY.
"I just wish that the late Harry Caray were still around so I could hear him mispronounce 'Kosuke Fukudome' every fukun' night" -- Dennis Miller
by fourstick on Apr 3, 2009 4:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
yes
though i believe i was first to use sauce for motte in the last nickname poll, i am embarrassed to say i missed the obvious—mott the hoople throws sauce, however this is not on the “all the young dudes” album, but it should be because he does lead all the young dudes we have this year. just love the mound presence
"No matter where you go, there you are" Buckeroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension
by sportsman on Apr 4, 2009 5:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
If he succeeds as closer...
How about “The Sauce Boss.”
Now that is a good nickname for a flame throwin’ closer. Cue entrance music, “Here comes The Sauce Boss.”
by abothecardinal on Apr 4, 2009 11:49 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
You know
with Wainwirght, Carpenter and Schumaker, we have a group of guys with trades as names, which reminds me of the “Tinker, tailor” rhyme. Since tradesmen are often members of unions (and, of course, all these guys are in a union), we could call them “The Union”. But, a lot of us aren’t too keen on unions, so how about “The Alliance”, or “The Guild” (my personal favorite)?
There was Gibson in the Reds' dugout, visibly manhandling about three Reds and tossing them bodily out of the dugout and onto the field...He was the toughest athlete mentally I ever saw, and the greatest competitor. JACK BUCK
by ISawGodInGibby'sRightArm on Apr 3, 2009 1:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Or perhaps
The Brotherhood.
There was Gibson in the Reds' dugout, visibly manhandling about three Reds and tossing them bodily out of the dugout and onto the field...He was the toughest athlete mentally I ever saw, and the greatest competitor. JACK BUCK
by ISawGodInGibby'sRightArm on Apr 3, 2009 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Brotherhood's a good one
The Cards should seek out more players with last names like that. We need a Smith and a Cooper….what else?
by arch support on Apr 3, 2009 4:00 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I am just waiting for Deryk Hooker to reach the majors now
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
and....BEN SHEETS!!! **
**not that BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment, just BEN SHEETS!!!
(BEN SHEETS might be involved in this comment)
by mattyfrommo on Apr 3, 2009 4:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
The Benevolent Brotherhood
of Birds on the Bat. The BBBtB.
There was Gibson in the Reds' dugout, visibly manhandling about three Reds and tossing them bodily out of the dugout and onto the field...He was the toughest athlete mentally I ever saw, and the greatest competitor. JACK BUCK
by ISawGodInGibby'sRightArm on Apr 3, 2009 6:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I know he already goes by Joey Bombs
But I hope “Captain Caveman” catches on for Mather, because of the neanderthal look he came to ST sporting
The artist formerly known as...
Mr Redbird @ Viva El Birdos
PowerOfDixieland @ Track Em Tigers, other SEC blogs
by jd is legend on Apr 3, 2009 2:21 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
if he can turn his bat into what cap caveman used to carry around, i think it'll stick
BEN MOTHERHUSHYOURMOUTH SHEETS
I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson
by gdm426 on Apr 3, 2009 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I have 3
Dennys “Moons Over My Hammy” Reyes
Jason Motte – “Mange”
Joel Piniero – “Him?”
by Gillie McWeeeeee! on Apr 3, 2009 4:15 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
what about Denny's Grand Slam Reyes?
could be bad for a pitcher to have it, but the dude is huge.
BEN MOTHERHUSHYOURMOUTH SHEETS
I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson
by gdm426 on Apr 3, 2009 4:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
not sure if anyone said this, it's pretty obvious
Freese=The Iceman
4B - beer baseball bands blog
cmon and let the games begin
confusion will be my epitaph
I think I have more sigs than gdm now, hah!
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 3, 2009 4:18 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Deep Freese
That’s what I’m calling him every time he hits a HR this year, anyways…
The artist formerly known as...
Mr Redbird @ Viva El Birdos
PowerOfDixieland @ Track Em Tigers, other SEC blogs
by jd is legend on Apr 3, 2009 5:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's kinda catchy; I could see that snowballing into a commonly-accepted nickname.
/ sorry for all the puns
// not really
by Ray Lankford on Apr 3, 2009 5:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
we are really running out of material by this point
4B - beer baseball bands blog
cmon and let the games begin
confusion will be my epitaph
I think I have more sigs than gdm now, hah!
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 3, 2009 5:47 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
really scrapping the bottom of the barrel
monday can’t get here fast enough
BEN MOTHERHUSHYOURMOUTH SHEETS
I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson
by gdm426 on Apr 3, 2009 6:07 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
yessir!
4B - beer baseball bands blog
cmon and let the games begin
confusion will be my epitaph
I think I have more sigs than gdm now, hah!
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 4, 2009 4:14 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I LOVE the VEB names
Specifically:
The Mang (obv. he’s the latin “the man” and with pujol’s specific accent it’s hilarious)
A.D.A.M./Wagonmaker = pure gold.
Pinata = Funny for 2 reasons. One, because’s it’s funny, two because it’s true.
The Colonel = gold.
I like K-Mac too.
"How depressing is it being you? Would you equate it to being a lifelong Cubs fan?"
by rocKStark5 on Apr 4, 2009 1:27 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
K-Mac is good,
but I like Hometown for Kyle as well.
by cardsgirl95 on Apr 4, 2009 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Motte
I like saying Applesauce after each K but I think “Heatseeker” when I think of him coming into the game. Playing AC/DC’s Heatseeker as his intro music would fit just perfect, IMHO. Anybody with me?
by nmstar on Apr 4, 2009 8:46 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I like it...
but I am going to start calling him ’Sauce
4B - beer baseball bands blog
cmon and let the games begin
confusion will be my epitaph
I think I have more sigs than gdm now, hah!
by Cards Fan in Chitown on Apr 4, 2009 4:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
anybody wanna let me in on the root of applesauce?
"How depressing is it being you? Would you equate it to being a lifelong Cubs fan?"
by rocKStark5 on Apr 4, 2009 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
ha ha n/m.
"How depressing is it being you? Would you equate it to being a lifelong Cubs fan?"
by rocKStark5 on Apr 4, 2009 8:13 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
medina?
BEN MOTHERHUSHYOURMOUTH SHEETS
I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson
by gdm426 on Apr 4, 2009 10:13 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
molina
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
by mattyfrommo on Apr 5, 2009 2:34 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Here's my two cents...some are ripped from earlier (but were too good to pass up)
Rick/Dick Ankiel — Hobbs
Brian Barden — The Bard
Chris Carpenter — Carp
Chris Duncan — Donuts
Ryan Franklin — Frankly
David Freese — Mr. Freese
Khalil Greene — Spicoli
Josh Kinney — Skinny
Jason LaRue — Lash (too perfect)
Kyle Lohse — The Kyle Lohse Experience
Ryan Ludwick — Thudwick
Joe Mather — Bombs
Trever Miller — The LOOGYman
Yadier Molina — Yadi
Jason Motte — The Hoople (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mott_The_Hoople)
Kyle McClellan — K-Mac
Joel Pineiro — Pinata
Albert Pujols — El Hombre
Colby Rasmus — Cheese
Dennys Reyes — Breakfast
Brendan Ryan — Spaz
Skip Schumaker — Cobbler
Brad Thompson — Cabbage Patch
Joe Thurston — Sprite (“Quench Yo Thurston…”, no…?"
Adam Wainwright — Wagonmaker
Todd Wellemeyer — The Colonel
All your base are belong to Rasmus.
by Epic on Apr 5, 2009 12:54 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Not sure who originally said it...
But when referring to Barden, spoke of slurring, so his nickname should be Slurred.
by Jumsy on Apr 6, 2009 8:10 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
One current nickname I really love
is for Lance Berkman – Big Puma. The nickname it replaced was hilarious, too – Fat Elvis.
by Toddius on Apr 8, 2009 11:07 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
he'll always be fat elvis to me
BEN MOTHERHUSHYOURMOUTH SHEETS
I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson
by gdm426 on Apr 8, 2009 4:27 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Me too.
And those sideburns do nothing to change my mind. But I’ve said that before.
by cardsgirl95 on Apr 9, 2009 8:20 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Berkman, I told you to get rid of those sideburns! You're off the team!
I like Fat Elvis way better than Big Puma.
by mattybobo on Apr 10, 2009 11:48 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Rick/Dick Ankiel – Megatron (he transforms from a pitcher to an OF/hitter)
Brian “Don’t Call Me Barton” Barden
Chris Carpenter – I don’t know if ‘Carp’ Can be improved upon.
Chris Duncan – He Ain’t Ugly, He’s My Brother
Ryan Franklin – Pour Me Another
David Freese – I like “Deep” Freese or Mr. Freese, simple as they are
Khalil Greene – Hello, Good Baha’i
Josh Kinney – Seek and Destroy
Jason LaRue – I think Porno-Stache, or ‘The Stache’ is sufficient, even if clean shaven. Possibly combine another name I heard suggested, to make him “Lash the Stash”. That’s very confusing, and therefore, great.
Kyle Lohse – Oooh, That Smell (Like the Lynyrd Skynyrd song, he always looks under the influence of something in his pictures)
Ryan Ludwick – Brick House (My logic to get to this was strange. I was focusing on his chin hair, and started thinking of the 3 Little Pigs, and how they’d say ‘Not by the hairs of my chinny-chin-chin’. Then the only house that stood up to the wolf was the Brick House. Thus, Brick House.)
Joe Mather – Wossamotta U
Trever Miller – How did Everyone Get In My Room?
Yadier Molina – I love Yadier so very very much, he may be my favorite player. That’s not a nickname, I know.
Jason Motte – The Oracle
Kyle McClellan – Don’t Hassle Me, I’m Local
Joel Pineiro – Give Him a Tilthe and He’ll Take a Loss (I hate Pineiro)
Albert Pujols – No shortage of names, but I call him “Cou-Pu”, or more phonetically, “Ko-Pu” because he is my cousin… my cousin Pujols.
Colby Rasmus – Khan
Dennys Reyes – To All the Combos I’ve Loved Before
Brendan Ryan – Dinner Bell
Skip Schumaker – Eck to the X Power
Brad Thompson – I don’t really like Puppy Kicker but it’s too good of a nickname
Joe Thurston – Thirsty is the obvious one, and I’m down with it
Adam Wainwright – Juicy the Giraffe (I have been promoting this nickname for 3 years, he looks giraffe-like to me, and if he was a giraffe, his name would be Juicy. It’s painfully obvious.)
Todd Wellemeyer – Look Ma, no pitch count!
I’m sure we’ll come up with better nicknames for the young guys once we’ve seen them some more.
by Midwestside on Apr 10, 2009 1:54 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
My apologies
For the horrible formatting. I don’t know how to edit to take out the carriage returns. Also, I think “Ice Box” is a better name for Freese, since it’s based on his name but doesn’t actually use it.
by Midwestside on Apr 12, 2009 3:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
that was fine
the returns make it easier to read. Love the Reyes nick.
Can you explain the “khan” for rasmus nickname?
- So, to ease his pain, you're supposed to take him to a ball game?
- Yes.
by SleepyCA on Apr 12, 2009 11:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow
Oh… for a second I forgot entirely. Rasmus kinda of sounds like Wrathsmus, and I thought of the Wrath of Khan. Also, Khan is a title or royalty/nobility/leadership from Mongolia/China, and I hope that he becomes a leader on the team, and unleashes his wrath on the Cards’ opponents.
by Midwestside on Apr 13, 2009 2:41 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
And Yes
My mind always works this strangely. I’ve given up trying to understand it.
by Midwestside on Apr 13, 2009 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
where did the puppy kicker nick come from?...obviously i'm way out of the loop
by TT4EVER on Apr 12, 2009 11:46 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
read my sig
BEN MOTHERHUSHYOURMOUTH SHEETS
I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson
by gdm426 on Apr 13, 2009 12:20 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Chris Carpenter “The Saw Horse”
Brian Barden “Billy Shakes”
Ryan Ludwick “Beethoven’s 47th”
Brendan Ryan “Pippi Longstockings”
Colby Rasmus “Rat Trap”
Joe Thurston “Gatorade”
by Tadpole on Apr 10, 2009 5:49 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Greene- the great spirit
I know Greene looks like Spicoli, but his personality is quite different.
So, Greene is a practitioner of Bahai Faith. The biggest Bahai temple in the world is in Delhi, India. Delhi is were Ghandi was shot and died. Ghandi was a little man who brought down empires (lets hope KG can do the same). Like Ghandi, Greene is very peaceful.
Kahlil “Mahatma” Greene
by Scarecrow7775 on Apr 14, 2009 5:52 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Kyle McClellan
His nickname has to be “fartysix.” Local boy gets the local accent.
by bobohilario on Apr 22, 2009 11:49 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Nicknames
Ankiel – The Cannon
Barden – Basement (Bars in homes and dens in homes)
Carpenter – Carp
Duncan – Dun-K
Franklin – Serve (Servin’ up Franklins)
Freese – The Big Freeze
K. Greene – The Arabian
Kinney – Slider
LaRue – Stache
Lohse – Revolver
Ludwick – Studwick
Mather – Joey Bombs
Miller – Thriller
Molina – The Gun
Motte – Applesauce
McClellan – K-Mac/Mac
Pineiro – Pinata
Pujols – The Hammer
Rasmus – Razz
D. Reyes – The Diner
Ryan – High Flyin’
Schumaker – Schu
Thompson – Puppykicker/PK
Thurston – Thirsty
Wainwright – Waino
Wellemeyer – Welly
Welcome to Baseball Heaven.
by zoomzoomj88 on Apr 22, 2009 1:55 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Skip already has a nickname……..Skip.
DIz
by Dizfactorinc on Apr 24, 2009 1:38 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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