Life Lenses

I have thought the same thing for awhile now about the anger I am seeing within the fanbase…i.e. I didn’t think it was strictly baseball related. Thank you for doing such a good job of penning those thoughts into a coherent post. I would like to add that I think there is substantial jealousy of the owners’ wealth amongst the torch and pitchfork crowd.

kudos

interesting angle with the post… I tend to get kind of angry when they lose, although since 2005 I think I’ve just been grateful to be a fan of a great sports franchise, that to my mind is better than any other team in all of sports. the last few years I have paid a little more attention yet at the same time lowered the emotional investment to an extent. I guess that’s sort of part of maturing and growing up and realizing that life ain’t easy, and that you should just enjoy what you can.

that said, this whole Kennedy situation was just unexpected, since you’ve been told that he will be the starter… which we should all realize, life doesn’t go according to plan. perhaps that is the most unnerving for people, is that our experience and the way things turn out don’t really match up with “the plan”.

Baron, first and foremost, I’m very sorry for your loss.

The way I was finally able to help my wife understand my sports-related mood swings was to describe it as emotional wagering. For each game, I plunk down a certain number of units of emotional well-being as a bet on the outcome of the game. If I place a small bet and lose, no big deal, but I also don’t get the big charge from a win that a larger bet would garner. If I place a large bet, then the payoff is unbridled joy at a positive outcome and a deep, dark funk if my horse trails the field.

With maturity and additional life complexity (a wife, a kid, a meaningful job, etc.), I’ve accumulated a certain degree of wealth in emotional well-being units that I didn’t have when I was younger. This allows me to place reasonably substantial bets on “important” games without it causing debilitating depression in the event of a bad outcome. The highs and lows are mitigated by the fact that sports are just one investment in my emotional portfolio.

Not to go all Dr. Phil on you, but I’m guessing your mood was so dependent on the outcome of the Cardinal games during your deepest grief because your entire 401k had been wiped out in one fell swoop with that horrible phone call.

All this supports your thesis that the tough times we’re all going through, or at least watching with growing consternation, puts us a little nearer to that raw edge where our investment in the Cardinals is becoming a proportionally larger one.

I am somewhat concerned that I am making less than I have in several years. I’m a little more concerned about my job and the jobs of those close to me. I’m definitely concerned about my dad – who took a buyout, but would like to supplement his income for a few years. I’m mostly very concerned about what the long term implications of this crisis will end up being and what kind of world this will ultimately become.

Yet, I could really care less about Adam Kennedy’s release. A lot of it is that I think a better option will ultimately emerge, through one means of action or another. Heck, a longer term answer could even be found. Maybe. So just on it’s merit I can see the benefits of this move.

Even so, from the bigger view that RB is looking at today….I think with all that is going on in the world, I have a more “whatever happens happens” attitude about the sports teams I follow. In some years past, bad losses and whatnot would really set me off. That doesn’t happen as much anymore. I’m not as emotionally invested in sports. I still care, but the highs aren’t as high or the lows as low. It might just be me getting older, but more likely – I think – is that I have enough to worry about in real life that I am not going to let my diversions get me down.

So I’m a bit different in that sense, I suppose. Just to be clear, doesn’t mean I’m right and anyone else is wrong. Or vice versa. It illustrates how each person can handle things their own way though

RB – thanks for the deeply personal post and so sorry about your loss. Your ability to cut through to the raw emotions is admirable. Takes courage to write in such a style.

Fan are just adapting change. This is a different type of club than years past. One thing that did make me mad was the FO being so public about the Holiday/peavy talks. Walt would have never exposed his insights like MO did. i am not going to criticize the Ak release until we start playing ball. Everyone that is feeling mad about this needs to relax and let Larussa manage this team. If anything, this move shows that larussa will be around a few more years.

always impresses me, RB. All due respect to the other posters on VEB, you’re my favorite. My sincerest condolences. Your posts during that time remained excellent, which speaks highly of you.

I agree with OldieWan about sports being an escape, a diversion, from everyday pressures. Some people join book clubs, play video games, or the stock market, whatever; others get caught up in the day-to-day happenings of a baseball team. It’s not always rational; then again, neither is life.

With AK, there has to be something else to the story we don’t know about., IMO. I am very curious to know what that is. I think the biggest frustration for me is the doubletalk we get from ownership – we’re going to be aggressive! But we don’t have money to spend on the players needed. Which is it, gents? If they were honest with us about rebuilding or developing younger players, I might not like it, but at least I would respect the candor. Most people — especially in this economy — are reasonable enough to understand financial constraints, so I wish they would give fans a little credit.

i know this is silly, but it is very interesting to think about.

2B-B. Roberts (with all the money off the books i dont see how he doesnt come here.)
CF C. Rasmus
1B A Pujols
RF- R. Ludwick
3B- B. Wallace
LF-Mather/skip/Duncan
SS-K. Greene (i know he will be a FA, but i think we will retain him, IMO.)
P-Carp
C-Y. Molina

Rotation:
1.Carp
2. Waino
3. Lohse
4. Boggs/Todd
5. Walters/Garcia/parisi

I’m newly married, and can’t imagine.

As for the Kennedy situation, maybe people are just looking for some sign of hope. Getting rid of a starter (even a poorly performing one) did not provide that.

I’m so sorry to hear about your own personal tragedy, and I hope that in someway this post acts as a kind of catharsis for you. I’ve always found the best way to deal with really strong emotions was to simply let them out in whatever kind of way makes sense at the time. It’s hard to do, but it’s always helped me. I did the same a few months ago and used this very site to share my story. Here it is if anyone is curious. In short, my 88 year old grandmother, who was otherwise remarkably healthy for her age and probably had at least 10 years to live, came down with cancer seemingly out of the clear blue sky and ended up passing away very suddenly. It was a very sad day to say the least.

As for the main thrust of your post: I think that people become very emotionally invested in sports teams. Most intellectually KNOW that their team isn’t THAT important in the grand scheme of things, but on a subjective level are unable to get past that. When our team does something we don’t like, we flip shit. When they do something we do like, it brightens the day. Despite the psychology minor I picked up in college many years ago, I am not a psychologist. However, I would still argue that people place some of their own personal self-worth into the things they are involved in, and these things often include sports teams. So, to some extent, when the team doesn’t do well it is a reflection on a given fan, at least in that given fan’s mind. Is that fair or logical or rational or anything like that? Nope, not really…but you simply can’t deny the fact that fans love their team and often have strong subjective reactions to their successes or failures.

irrationally and at an irrational time.

Adam Kennedy is a ‘not-good’ baseball player, to be polite. But he was the same ‘not-good’ baseball player last year. Yet, when it kinda made sense to dump him during the season last year…the increased his playing time by putting him in the OF. Ok, increasing trade value I guess.

But at the end of the day, Kennedy was released two weeks before spring training by the Cardinals by accounts from him and the Post Dispatch because “he pissed Tony off”. And that’s the rub with me: the team is still serving two masters.

The whole point of firing Jocketty was to bring the organization into ‘harmony’, to get the team, management and front office all on the same page after all the fighting on the field and in the front office. They’ve sent Walt packing, Edmonds and Rolen too. Anthony Reyes was causing ruckus, he was booted too. The only person in the organization that seems to be able to speak out and work on his own agenda is LaRussa, and he gets away with it.

So now the team is taking $4 M in cash, piling it up and lighting it on fire. Their options at 2B now are another player Tony has shown ire toward (Ryan), a career AAAA player (Thurston) and a career OF’er they are going to try to convert to 2B because they refuse to trade an OF’ers (Skippy).

LaRussa threw a temper tantrum in August and September, if we have all forgotten, about the OF situation by playing MIF’ers in the OF. He did it to show his displeasure at the lack of activity by the FO as we were told by local reporters. He was also disgruntled that the team did nothing to improve the bullpen either.

As we stand here February 11th, need I remind everyone we haven’t picked up any new OF’ers and the bullpen hasn’t been overwhelming improved. So, what is placating Tony? Getting rid of Kennedy? If so, that’s not the reason to cut Adam Kennedy.

Ultimately, it’s nice to not have to watch Adam Kennedy not be a good baseballplayer for my favorite team anymore but I’m troubled with how it all transpired.

My brother was in a terrible accident back in 2001, and even though he somehow survived his myriad injuries, the trauma was with me for several years. All I know is that being human is hard work.

As for baseball, I don’t get that upset about losses except for in two cases: the manager has mismanaged the game to the point of gross incompetence, or an unreliable player was relied on in a high leverage situation and he gave up the game. Losses are losses. Even amazing teams lose about a third of the time.

I think St. Louisans take Cardinals baseball very seriously for one main reason: it’s been the only outstanding thing about our city. Sad but true. We have such an inferiority complex t hat we can’t bear to see our beloved Cardinals do poorly. Further, because almost all of us feel this way, it creates a sense of community that is otherwise lacking in this fractured and somewhat segregated metropolitan area. We may not agree on much, but damnit, we all love the Cardinals, and we all experience the highs and lows together.

However, some of these “lows,” like the release of Adam Kennedy, are really just insecurities. We really don’t know what type of season the Cardinals will have. If the Central is weak, we could come out on top again. If it’s not, we might be buried in the rubble. I think your connection to the current economic climate is apt. St. Louis has been bleeding jobs for years, and some of us rely (perhaps a bit too much) on this one thing to stay hopeful.

but thank you for sharing it with us. I’m going through a rough patch in my life right now, and your story helped to put things into perspective.

On the subject of Kennedy: I found it slightly humorous when my first thought to myself after they released him was “What the hell!? What a waste, he was a great defender.” The same Adam Kennedy which a friend of mine and I had so lovingly nicknamed last summer. I won’t say the nickname, for fear it might offened some people around here. I’ve gone from dissing the guy, to missing him. Strange yes, but Cardinal baseball will find a way to survive without AK this season and all the seasons to come.

Thank you for this thoughtful piece. Regardless of how much near-anonymous condolences are worth, I offer you mine, as well as some respect for sharing this and for just being able to deal with it.

Kennedy’s release doesn’t elicit too much from me right now. After reading the analyses on this board and personally remembering some pretty outstanding plays he made last year (as well as the occassional big hit), I was optimistic about his upcoming season. Now, I’m just hoping that B. Ryan or someone of that ilk can step up and surprise us.

I have a tendency to get entirely wrapped up in watching a Cards game, to the detriment of perspective and reasonable behavior. As already mentioned, it is an emotional investment; the more you put in, the more interesting and rewarding (or upsetting) it can be. As far as the question about why these feelings are generated, or what makes them stronger, let me focus on when the Cards lose, since those feelings are usually more powerful (2006 NLCS and WS excepted): (1) if the rest of the day has been bad, the game is an escape, and I feel cheated if this actually makes me feel worse than before (2) if I watch the entire game, I feel like I have wasted a good chunk of time that I “can never get back” (3) the fact that I’m getting pissed off at “just a baseball game” sometimes pisses me off even further (lol).

Very rarely, these things make me consider not watching sports. But there’s the off-season “dry out” period…and then it’s back on the horse in April.

actually I didn’t, but my condolences for your loss. I have had a lot of tragic stuff go on with me, including having a friend being murdered, an unhealthy dad for the last 20+ years of his life, several family members getting cancer, etc. not to mention, not having a full time job for the last 3 years despite sending out hundreds of resumes. I catch myself emotionally projecting at times, but you know what? you have control of yourself, and you have to deal with the emotions one way or the other. any way you can deal with it must be done, but irrational attacks aren’t the way to go.

i like this post very much. thanks for sharing your “quick little story” and i sincerely hope everything will be fine.

and thanks for sharing your take on the reactions regarding Kennedy’s release. i was wondering about this, but i had no clue why people were so extremely upset… now i think i agree with you.

up to this day i believed the outcome of a game did not affect my reactions, but maybe i’ll have to think it over…

In answer to your direct question (how do I relate to sports in my life?) I’ll say this: the reason baseball is my favorite sport is that it is a game of repeated failure with only limited success. The greatest hitters make outs most of the time, and even the very greatest teams lose ~30% of their games. That’s the game.

Every particular iteration of whatever sort — whether it’s a pitch, an AB, or a game — can only be controlled to a certain extent. They can go well or poorly due to good performance, but can also go well or poorly due to pure, random, shitty luck. And when they go wrong, damn it, you go back out and try to get the next one right, and you keep in mind that luck is in the end even-handed. And every once in a while, an ’06 Cardinals team comes along.

So I like baseball because it’s like life. And in the specific context of Adam Kennedy and the particularities of life in America right now, this makes me think a couple things:

1) I don’t know what’s going to happen at 2B for the Cards this year, and that’s OK. I sure wish I knew, because the uncertainty isn’t helping me feel any better about an already uncertain team. But somebody is going to stand at the position, and they’ll try hard, and they might suck, or they might not. All I know is that I’m not going to make myself feel any better by worrying about it. If they suck, the team will try something else, and if they’re smart about it it’ll work out slightly more often than not. Life’s like that, right now.

2) By the end of the summer, Adam Kennedy still is going to be playing professional baseball somewhere. Draw your own parallels.

Although I have never felt the loss that you did (save a loved grandfather that lived a long life before. Hardly close to your experience), I do come home after a particularly crappy day and say “Man I hope the Cardinals/Illini/Vikings won today. If they did, at least I can bask in some sort of victory for a while.”

Probably the best I have read since I have been a member here.

On the value of sports in my life, I think it is a lot more than just a simple for of entertainment, baseball especially. To me it is almost a small representation of the country we live in. Especially right now seeing how the economy is doing, a lot of people have lost some of the faith in their country. I felt like even though this is affecting everything, I didn’t think it would affect baseball of all things. I thought baseball would be impenetrable, and of all the things that are going wrong right now, baseball would be the one thing that would stay strong.

Now seeing the huge steroids scandal, how low people are getting paid (or not being able to find a job period), and how the front office is handling these financial hardships, people are getting angry. To see the national past time is suffering as well is definitely a blow below the belt.

This post definitely help me put it in perspective as to how big an impact baseball really does have on our lives. Thank you RB for not only giving us some a great baseball post, but also a great personal post for yourself. I guess it is always good to see that the people that write all of these articles are human too.

with all three points — A, B, and the other B. :)

Thanks RB, as always, for your honesty and insight.

I’ve found that my reactions to what happens both on and off the field are definitely related to how the rest of my life is unfolding. In the case of Adam Kennedy, though, it’s a little different for me. I was fortunate enough to attend what I think was AK’s second professional game ever, with the Single A New Jersey Cardinals. He was playing shortstop still at that time, and was already so confident and smooth both in the field and at the plate; clearly at a level that few of the other guys on the field would ever attain. He hit the game-winning single—a line drive up the middle, which is the kind of hit that I’d been hoping to see from him for the past two years.

Alas, it wasn’t to be. While AK’s remained among my favorite players of all time since that minor league game, it’s been pretty hard watching him struggle so often, especially in a place where I’m sure he wanted to feel comfortable and prove himself. It’s hard not to think of him as kind of “like the rest of us,” who might change jobs and end up in a situation we didn’t anticipate, where our performances sometimes seem secondary to the whims of supervisors or markets that we can’t individually influence.

Sure, Adam Kennedy didn’t live up to our expectations on the field, and he looked like a different player than the one I saw so many years ago, but he took his job seriously and played professionally, and left those of us who follow the Cardinals obsessively with a lot to discuss about what we want out of the people we root for.

And I am sorry for your loss…I know when I suddenly lost my dad a year and a half ago, what the Cardinals, Rams and Blues did, didn’t seem quite so important any more…I learned a long time ago to keep all of this in perspective…now, more than ever, it’s worth remembering that in the grand scheme of things, this is still just a game, and there are much, much more important things to be concerned about…I think, to their credit, sports recognizes it’s relative place in the big picture…I won’t say it’s unimportant, because a lot of people besides the players make their living because of the games…but during 9/11, we all remember how the leagues shut down their sports, to allow the nation to grieve and to begin to heal…it will be interesting to see how the economic situation of sports plays out as times become even tougher…we have already seen many teams hold the line on ticket prices…as for the players, my feeling is they make what they make, and I don’t think about it that much…Kennedy may get his 4 million to not play for the Cardinals, and it’s conceivable he may spend 2009 sitting at home, but I don’t know what obligations he has, how many people he is supporting and so on…we have all seen players who have salaries of hundreds of thousands, in not millions of dollars, and they can’t manage their money to save their lives. Don’t know what his situation is, obviously, but as RB said, it has to be a blow to his professional pride to get canned two weeks before ST…it can’t feel real good, even IF you get paid to go away.

And it could be all in my head.

The club knew for awhile that Kennedy was not going to be on the roster come Spring Training. They managed to keep Tony from going off in Public like he did last year with Rolan. And when they couldn’t trade him, they just cut him.

Bringing in Thurston was and having Skip take balls all could point to this. Of course bringing in Joe was just a smart baseball move even if Kennedy was still playing. And having Skip play second really doesn’t make any sense at all…

But it’s my mind.

RB – I have no idea what I would do if my Fiaincee died. Sorry for your lost.

I, like most here was really shocked by the release of Ak… I mean it seemed to me that , hell, they already owed the guy 4 Million, he is a vet who has been through the wars…rebounded last fall to show some hitting to go with his good glove. He gave us 1 more year to develop or find a younger player to take over in 2010 …Miles and Lopez were now gone..so he would be the 2nd baseman. But…managing a team well or running a business with sucess is not entirely about abilities or talent…its about meshing together to make a strong unit. I think Tony just didn’t see AK as a person that would be an addition to that section of building a winning team. Perhaps He felt that the downside of his personality was a overiding factor to his talent on the field. That the contributions he made in the 3-4 hours ON the field didn’t counter balance his lack of contributions in the other 20 or so hours a day that a team would be together in travel and living together on the road and at the park. Maybe he was a pain in the ass … maybe he just didn’t mesh with Tony …I have no idea…hell..maybe he was a swell guy and Tony just didn’t like him…. who knows. But the fact that they just ate 4 Million bucks…speaks volumes to me ……They decided they did NOT want this guy on the team…period. Why?…we will most likely never know the real answer to that.

every other one is dead & buried, i’ll never have a talking Trans Am, i’ll never drive like a bat outta hell in my bright orange Charger down south, i’ll never be a PI in Hawaii with a kick ass Ferrari. i’ll never have transforming robots or robot lions, nor will i be a member of some secret government special force team that hunts down the bad guys & saves the world, but the Cardinals, yeah i still have my St. Louis Cardinals. sure, I’ll never play LF, hit 350, 40HRs, 140RBI’s & win GG’s, MVP’s, & WS rings year after year liked i dreamed i would as a kid. (oh who are we kidding, i had that dream last night) but pulling for the team, rooting for them to crush the competition, that, yeah that i can still do. and do it very well. so yes, for me the Cardinals are my one true escape from life. they are the one pure, holy & innocent thing i have left. everything else, for lack of a better word has been crushed by this thing we call life.

from 02 to just before xmas of 07 i was the main caregiver for my dad who was dying from ALS. everyday was filled with so much pain, that i really delved into the Cardinals for my escape. dad always worked so hard he never left himself just sit down & enjoy a baseball game, so everyday & night during those long summers we both got a brief 3 hour break from life. he wasn’t a dying man, i wasn’t burdened with keeping him alive, we were both just baseball fans pulling hard for our team to win. thankfully for the exception of 03 we were rewarded with a pretty good team. once he died part of my obsession with the team died with him. last season it was really hard to focus & get into them. i feel the same now, maybe it’s because i have other more pressing matters to attend to, but since he’s gone, most everything seams meaningless. to this day my family is still struggling to somehow get back to normal, but how can you do that when you don’t even remember what normal is?

Red i can’t imagine the pain you are still going through. i won’t trivialize your pain by saying i know how you feel & i sympathize with you. i don’t, and i hope & pray i never do. what happened to you is beyond tragic, if i ever had to experience it i doubt i’d ever be able to recover. but i do understand on some level the hardships after the fact, the getting back to normal & trying to move on. i do because i am still living with them now, trying to figure out what’s next, getting a job, helping my mom who my dad took care of & did everything for now realize she has to take care of herself. her favorite holiday is this weekend & i have no idea what were going to do for her.

i get that the day to day life seams so trivial & meaningless. but the one thing that’s still there, that’s still on some level perfect is baseball, and the Cardinals. even though now the games aren’t as important as they once were, they still matter. they are still there to help us for at least part of the day to escape from our harsh reality. and you hit the nail on the head man, so i guess that’s why when things go bad on the diamond, many of us have a hard time reacting to it in a proper way. the Cardinals are the one thing for so many people that is supposed to be perfect, that when they are not, we lash out.

thanks for this man, it’s some of your best work. i really appreciate you writing this today.

Very sorry for your loss. Keep on keepin’ on brother…

As for the Kennedy thing, color me happy with how the whole thing turned out. Also, shade me confused about how some of us have reacted and blamed the front office or LaRussa for how this went down. I’ve made it abundantly clear in most of the posts on the Kennedy decision that this is simply a decision about cutting our losses with a player who doesn’t fit and moving on as a team and an organization.

Those who think we should keep him around for insurance need to look at situations where a malcontent has disrupted the flow of an entire team. It’s happened with one player on three different teams in the NFL (TO, who may have talked his way out of working for Jerry Jones, which I thought was impossible if you were talented). I could put up with it to a point for a player who is talented, but Kennedy isn’t the best player on the team and he’s only marginally the best player at his own position. So he doesn’t get the luxury of being upset that he’s not declared the starter and that he gets platooned, that attitude gets you a chartered airplane out of town with your pile of cash. He didn’t have an interest in being part of the team and was only interested in making sure that his job was safe. That’s how I see it, and from his actions and statements since last offseason, I think I have a pretty fair judgment of the situation.

If I had suffered such a loss, I’d have shut down and gone completely cold and numb. I’m impressed with your fortitude and your fan-ship (is that a word?) to keep investing in the Cards during that time. And to keep writing at the same time, I commend you. Thanks for sharing, and for keeping on.

i think you may have the beginning of a great book there.
  
you’re a strong man.
thanks for the great read.

I can tell you, as I was reading, I didn’t expect your story to come up. My condolences to you.

I have a mild case of cerebral palsy on my left side, and I am a surviving identical twin, so I can relate to not wanting to wake up some days. Heck, my parents were told before I was born that I might be a vegetable. I got spared in that sense. I also had water on the brain, which caused my head to be a little bigger than the average person (but I have a good sense of humor about it). My twin Eddy died four days before I was born. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about it, even in a slight sense. Believe me, I know that it’s tough to go through stuff like that. I’ve had times where I’ve thought of suicide (but never considered actually committing it), or what it would be like if things were different… just about anything possible. Think of it this way: At least you got to see your girlfriend. I will never have the opportunity to see my twin brother in person, only in spirit.

Sports are everything to me. If they weren’t a part of my life, I would serve little purpose. Because of my condition, I cannot play contact sports (like football), and I wasn’t a very good baseball player. One of the things that I can play, however, is golf. I’ve been playing the game since I was 3. It’s been a natural part of my life. For me, the golf course is a place where I can escape the harsh reality that is my life and relax. Most people don’t even know about my condition or ever notice. I’m a good golfer, and I’m often complimented for my skills.

As for the Cardinals, I’m not sure what to think. I think they’ve made some good decisions, and they’ve made some that have made me scratch my head. I’m starting to dislike Mo more and more as the offseason goes on, and I’ve been wondering if the front office actually cares about winning anymore. I’m happy when they win, and a little angry when they lose. As long as they’re competing in the division, I’m cool with it.

I’m hoping for a career in sports journalism. I’m a junior in HS, so I’m still a few years away. However, I couldn’t have written your article better myself. Very well thought out and well done. Again, sorry for your loss. I know what you’re going through man – life isn’t any easier for me. It was a good read, though. Keep it up.

I’m more than ready for the season to start and see what 2009 has in store for the Birds!!

It just doesn’t make sense to release Kennedy.

I’m not saying he’s a good player, but much of the criticism of him is well, overwrought. He was worth about a win more than a replacement player last year. If that a lot? No. But it’s better than nothing.

Would he be the same again this year? I don’t know. But I actually have more faith in that than any of the replacements (with the possible exception of Barden). So to me, it seems like they are just throwing away a win for no real reason.

I, like so many others here, have to admit to getting emotionally hooked when watching games. The BoB can certainly make good days better and bad days worse.

When it comes to Adam Kennedy though, I can’t seem to empathize. It appeared that AK wanted to be annointed without competition. I was raised with an understanding that NOTHING is handed to you, so don’t expect it to happen. And, if someone is offering something for nothing, or wants something for nothing, it is at least worth it to question the motives and the sincerity of that person.

Work hard, and prove your worth everyday. If I were to identify with a Cardinal second baseman, it would have to be one of our potential replacements. I guarantee that if any of these guys comes to camp with their hand out and an attitude of entitlement, he will not be our 2 bagger this season.

That’s what I felt when I heard the news. I was at first shocked that Kennedy was just outright released. After the initial shock, however, I began to realize that the team really hadn’t lost much as I feel confident that someone(s) of the group that will rotate through 2B will come fairly close to AK’s performance.

Also, some have said the team was ‘unfair’ or ‘mean’ to Kennedy to release him this close to ST and they should have waited until during ST. There is validity to the argument that we should have waited to see if anyone else performed decently in the position before letting a known quantity go, but, from AK’s perspective, it was better to be cut loose now than in mid-March. This give him a better chance to latch on somewhere else than a mere two weeks before Opening Day.

Finally, rb, wonderful job with the post today. I, too, lost the woman in my life to cancer at the tender age of 38. I’ve still not fully recovered as I don’t think anyone who suffers that type loss does. Sports does serve a valuable purpose to give us an outlet from the pressure and emptiness that we feel at those times. I have become much more mellow in my fandom over the years. Not that I love the Cards any less, just that I don’t allow the outcome of a given night’s game, or a season, effect me as much as I used to. Maybe that comes with age, maybe it’s the buildup of ‘emotional value’ that someone else described up-post. Nevertheless, I remain a fan and always will.

that is all.

I think that you have officially earned the right to NEVER, ever feel the need to apologize for lack of statistical analysis in a post. I can’t start without saying sorry for your loss, and I hope that, as it sometimes does, it helps in some small way to share something like that with a bunch of relative strangers (some stranger than others) and to get so many thoughtfull and sincere responses.

I think as St. Louisans, most of our emotions are inextricably and irrationaly tied to Cardinal baseball because it’s a part of our identity. I like the Rams. I used to be a Blues fan, but the game is different now and not what I remember. I was (and am) a Mizzou Tiger and that approaches the irrational sometimes, but I don’t live and die by Tiger hoops like I used to (the football run has been great, though). I am a Cardinal fan. I always will be. If I had to define myself, well… I’m a Husband to my wife, a Son to two great parents, A friend to many, an employee to my employer, and a Cardinal Fan. Pretty much in that order (although if the Cardinals paid me even a marginal salary they could easily move up the list and probably ahead of a few friends also- Mr. Dewit, are you there?). While I’d say I’m a spiritual man I’m not particularly religious so yes, baseball occupies a higher place in my life than any organized religion. Irrational- possibly, distastefull- to some, but true (sorry for getting all Bull Durham on y’all). When I come home from a crap day at work and turn on the game, or even better go to a game, things don’t seem so bad. And the game is whatever I need it to be- I can yell, laugh, get angry, depressed, elated, throw things (at the TV, not usually at the stadium) and generally take out whatever frustrations I have or just shut it down for a while and think about nothing but baseball.

So in the interest of arriving at some sort of point, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head when you say that our frustrations with the front office are, perhaps, rooted in something deeper. I think there’s a certian element of rich-guy bashing out there (which is really irrational because the players are also rich guys by my standards) but unless you’re really just petty and bitter, I don’t think that’s the whole story. For me, I think it’s really frustration with the state of the game in general and being emotionally invested in something that isn’t fundamentally fair and you have no controll over. To be a Cardinal fan today is like living in a kind of baseball purgatory- we aren’t in hell (KC, Pittsburg) but we don’t dwell in the clouds either, with the Sox, Yankees, Mets, Dodgers, and (gag) Cubs, and we will have to scrape and claw to visit higher heights on occasion. We’re better off than most, but not playing on the same level as others- just a fact of the game as it is today. And while there’s a big part of me that enjoys playing armchair GM, breaking down the payroll, geeking out over sabermetrics, and ranting about moves made or not made, there’s that little boy inside that misses the day when he didn’t know who Willie McGee’s agent was, what his salary was or when his contract was up, where he was drafted or went to High School or College or wether he was cost-controlled or not, He just knew he was a Cardinal. And that litle boy likes to throw a temper tantrum from time to time, irrational or no.

Sorry for the long-winded rant. Sign Ben Sheets (in June, after the draft, 1 year with an option, incentive laden). Back to your regularly scheduled programing.