FanPost

The IQ Test

I for one have never taken and would hate to find out how miserably I would do on any IQ test. Hell I would lose on that smarter than a 5th grader show. But I started thinking about who is the smartest person in the Cardinals organization. I thought this would be a good idea for a poll. Of course there is a difference between intellectual IQ and baseball IQ. I don't think Steven Hawking would make a very good manager just like Tommy Lasorda isn't going to find a unified field theory. Well, to be fair, maybe Tommy is working on it and I'm in the dark. Just don't think he will be the one to find it. But for this I'm thinking of a mixture of both. Who is the smartest Cardinal? Here are my candidates but I'm sure there are many more depending on what you find the most important attributes (street smarts for example).

 

  • Tony LaRussa: Our favorite barrister is an easy choice. He has that law degree and with over 3000 wins under his belt, the ticket to Cooperstown has already been punched. The man more then once has been described as a genuine genius. He even has his own theme music. No doubt he fits the criteria, but he has competition.
  • John Mozeliak: Being smart should be a prerequisite to be a GM, but it doesn't always seem to be. There have been some really dumb ones but I don't see that in Mo. Tony thinks he  wears nice ties and those glasses do make him look smart. Since he's calling the shots lets hope he is the smartest one. But he might not have the highest score on an IQ test in his own front office.
  • Jeff Luhnow: The St. Louis Cardinals Vice President of Amateur Scouting and Player Development (he must have some really small print on those business cards) is one smart dude. He has an ubersmart collection of Ivy league PhD mathematicians and other saber guru's working for him. (is it just me or does saber guru sound like the baseball version of a Jedi Knight?) If you need to know more about him he will ,once in a while , do a Q & A.  (am I the only person who doesn't have his E-mail address?) He is living the dream of every player of fantasy baseball. Getting Pujols for $10 in a keeper league his rookie year is impressive, but not as impressive as Mo going to Kansas City and actually getting Albert himself. We will see in the next few years how his fantasy skills and corporate knowledge translate to wins with the big club. He does have one big backer in the organization, our team president.
  • Bill DeWitt III: I wish I was smart enough to have been born rich.

We shouldn't limit this to just management since we have a player that must be put into consideration.

 

  • Brian Barton: Intellectually he is hands down the smartest player on the team, maybe in the game. If that helps in his play is open to debate, he seems to think so. He is the only one in the poll I would trust to launch me into space. As for baseball IQ he is also the only one in the poll to be currently playing the game at the major league level. Granted it's only because he was a rule V pick, maybe another argument for Mo or Jeff not sure which. I think the Cleveland Indians fans are still holding out hope we'll send him back, does when pigs fly mean anything to them. Brian has the knowledge to create something for those aviator swine, but he I doubt he will because I think he likes it here. His goal is to visit every country on earth and that got the hamster wheel in my head spinning, a dangerous thing for both myself and anyone around me. We know he did his internship at Boeing, but that's a big company. What did he do there? Did he work in their own version of Skunkworks? Could he have been recruited by the "The Company"? They tell him to keep playing ball because it's a good cover after all an aerospace engineer traveling to the Sudan might trigger some red flags. But a pro baseball player who looks like a rastafarian stoner can go anywhere without causing concern. (To those computers they have that read EVERYTHING that was a joke, if I was somehow right please don't black bag me, I don't think I would like Cuba that much.)   

     

    The next candidate may not be officially a member of the Cardinals organization, but the the team seems heed his sage advice.

     

  • Larry Borowsky: That's right,  lboros the illustrious founder of this site. His baseball knowledge in unquestioned and with all the statistical analysis he has shown his intellectual prowess. Why else would SB nation make him the manager over all their MLB blogs? (LB, can you take bleed cubbie blue offline during our games against them? That way we can really shut up those annoying cub fans.) I know a few people on this list listen to what he has to say. Tell the team sign Kyle Lohse, done. They should start Ryan Ludwick everyday, done. Tells them to give me a job in the front office, done. (Well maybe not the last one, but we won't know until he tries. Suggest it in a post, please.) Like all savants he does have his idiosyncrasies, a paranoid distrust of small sample sizes and strange aversion to the shift key that I'm naming lborosaphobia. He does have many commendable traits. Lover of the environment, political activist, novelist and apparently an aspiring documentary scriptwriter. Is there anything this man can't do? Little known fact is that on top of all that he has a thriving medical practice. (That is you, right Larry? Because I set up a appointment for Friday, this gas is just killing me.)

     

    That leaves just one more for your consideration.

     

    • Monty Brewster: The title character from the movie Brewster's Millions ,played by the late great Richard Prior, was a baseball man. Cubs fan (nobody's perfect) and pitcher for the Hankensack Bulls. But his real genius came when he ran for Mayor of New York. His platform was for everyone to vote None Of The Above. So if you didn't see your guy on the list this one's for you. Just vote Monty and tell us who you would pick and why. There are a lot to choose from Red, Whitey, the guy who came up with the birds on the bat logo, whomever.

     

    Well that"s my list, the poll follows below. I guess I should have warned everyone from the start that reading this post may lower the readers IQ by a few points but what's done is done. Hopefully  to much damage wasn't inflicted.

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