From Bernie's column today in the P-D:

La Russa is willing to give the baseball to anyone — well, except maybe Anthony Reyes. Look for Jeff Tabaka to be signed any day now.

"Who the @#&% is Tabaka?"

Undoubtedly, many of you recall Jeff Tabaka. For those of you do not, allow me to take you back from the tragic September of 2001, during which the Astros and Cardinals fought an amazing battle over the N.L. Central crown. In the wake of the terrorist attacks of September 11, Commissioner Selig cancelled MLB games, a sensitive act that extended the baseball season into October and the incredibly dramatic playoffs into November. Backtracking to the conclusion of the regular season, where the Cardinals and Astros went into the final series of the year, hosted by the Cardinals, neck-and-neck in the N.L. Central race. Given the uniquely dramatic backdrop, my dad and I secured tickets (even if it was somewhat less dramatic since the "loser" would easily win the Wild Card).

The Cardinals came into the series one game up in the Central Divison. Game 1 on Oct. 5 pitted Woody Williams vs. Wade Miller in a tremendous pitchers duel. This was when Woody Williams the uber-competitive bulldog was at his zenith and that cool St. Louis evening was no exception. Not only did Woody throw seven innings without surrendering a run, he went 1-for-2 at the plate and scored the lone run of the game up until his departure from it, leaving with the Redbirds up 1-0. Needless to say, the electricity in Busch Stadium was playoffs in caliber.

After seven innings, TLR removed Woody, who did everything one could possibly ask of a starting pitchers. Who does TLR summon from the bullpen? Jeff Tabaka. He brings in Jeff Tabaka for the eighth inning. There was a palpable confusion in the crowd. Suddenly, from somewhere over my left should I heard a deep, thundering voice exclaim in a slightly slurred fashion, "Tabaka!? Who the @#&% is Tabaka?!" This perfectly summed up the thoughts of every red-clad St. Louis fan in the stadium. Tabaka promptly gave up a homerun to Lance Berkman, which incensed the near-capacity crowd.

Tabaka was promptly yanked once Berkman rounded the bases. Luther Hackman retired the 'Stros in the eight, and we entered the ninth inning, tied 1-1. Gene Stechschulte came in to surrender the losing run in the ninth, but Cardinal Nation had decided on its scapegoats: TLR & Tabaka. TLR for bringing in Tabaka with a one-run lead in the eighth inning of the third-to-last game of a season at a point where the Cards had a one-game lead and were facing the second place team. And Tabaka for not possessing pitching skill.

As we left Busch Stadium II, a little old lady asked her husband, "Who the @#&% is Tabaka?"

Epilogue

The Cards won on Saturday and lost on Sunday, giving way to tie for the N.L. Central crown (depending on who you ask) with the Cards actually receiving the Wild Card bid and a trip to Arizona for one of the great Divisional Playoff Series of the era.

Jeff Tabaka never pitched in the big leagues again.