ghostly visit: saving baseball from itself
by the Tewk on Dec 24, 2008 11:02 PM EST
34 comments
of course none of this will ever happen, nonetheless the ghosts of baseball have been visiting me, and like the ancient mariner (mixing literary constructs), I am compelled to report out ... an outline...of a plan to save baseball.
DEVOLVE back down to 24 MLB teams, allowing for a neat 12 and 12 (league) and 4-4-4 (division). It would certainly be fist-pounding arguable which six teams get relagated to AAA atatus, to say nothing of the 'political' firestorm, but for the record, MY bottom line choices would be... both Fla teams, Wash, Oak, Minn, Colo. In this way, baseball around the nation would actually expand, not contract. Each MLB team would now have an improved AAA affiliate as well as a better talent pool in its (possibly TWO) AA associations. Parochial fan interest will be strengthened, and major league loyalties will be streamlined
DEVOLVE again, this time the schedule: pare back to 150 games, with the season beginning in mid-April and the first game of the WS would start on an October day still in the single digits. MLB teams would enjoy always having a Monday or a Thursday off, some weeks both days.
BUILD IT AND THEY WILL COME; smaller parks; wider seats; bigger aisles. No knees in the back or beer down the neck; no crossing 20 people just to go to the bathroom. Eliminate and forbid corporate boxes and other forms of enclosed suites (except for the press... maybe). Severely curb the electronic gizmos at stadiums/parks, and such as survive should be 'baseball' related.' Totally separate (if they exist at all) kiddieland, picnic areas etc. from the field viewing areas. Severely restrict the use of canned music; every park needs an organist... hire TWO if it is too much of a strain on one person.
PROHIBITION controversy: eliminate beer, in all forms, from the games and the parks. No sales thereof; no advertising, no sponsorship. This includes (First Amendment be damned in this case) TV and radio commercials.
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Crap on a stick
why exactly does baseball need to be “saved from itself”?
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
by mattyfrommo on Dec 24, 2008 11:14 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
MLB
is bringing in a TON of revenue. They don’t need to be saved from anything.
by spants on Dec 25, 2008 12:38 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
PROHIBITION controversy: eliminate beer
bye
by azruavatar on Dec 25, 2008 12:44 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Does this mean that Miller Park, Coors Field and Busch Stadium need to be renamed?
They say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger...
by Valatan on Dec 25, 2008 12:23 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
This is my favorite part:
“First Amendment be damned in this case”
Hell yes. Fuck the first amendment when it doesn’t suit our individual dislikes.
by azruavatar on Dec 25, 2008 9:15 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
how did I miss that line?
I was so flabbergasted by the time I got to the “eliminate beer” part that I didn’t even notice the most ridiculous part of the entire post
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
by mattyfrommo on Dec 25, 2008 9:34 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
This isn't even a first amendment issue......
So both the original post and all the replies concerning the 1st amendment don’t really matter.
The amendment reads: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
CONGRESS shall not abridge freedom of speech or of the press. If MLB wanted to, that’s their right.
Of course, the very idea of the post is pretty silly, but I’ll post my opinions there in its own reply and not here.
by mtalken on Dec 30, 2008 3:54 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
ugh
the sad thing is, I have went on that kind of First Amendment tirade before. I am disappointed in myself twice on one FanPost.
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
by mattyfrommo on Dec 30, 2008 5:18 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Prohibition?
Forget “controversy,” we’re talking all out riots if you take beer out of the ballpark.
by mynameistyler on Dec 25, 2008 1:45 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
What would I do
If I am at a game where we are up by one in the 9th….And Tony brings in Franklin?!??!
by Evilfrog on Dec 25, 2008 7:14 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
you would be screwed because they stop selling in the 7th inning strech
unless I am mistaken/ they have changed the policy
by bearcatcardfan on Dec 25, 2008 9:34 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
two words
warm beer
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
by mattyfrommo on Dec 25, 2008 9:36 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
you would be correct.
But I normally have a nice warm feeling by that?
by Evilfrog on Dec 25, 2008 9:43 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
* warm feeling by then
To much wine this Christmas day.
by Evilfrog on Dec 25, 2008 9:43 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
New Plan
No beer, but everyone gets free Tequila shots while Franklin is on the mound.
If you’re going to contract half of the major league, how can you not include the Royals?
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs. ~Harry Caray
by Tupelo on Dec 27, 2008 11:22 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs
There seems to be a key thing missing here
Why does baseball need saving from itself? That’s kinda crucial to the whole concept, methinks.
by mojowo11 on Dec 25, 2008 12:46 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
And here's the real kicker:
Everybody gets a pony!!!
by tom s. on Dec 25, 2008 3:11 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
well if that is the case
count me in!
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
by mattyfrommo on Dec 25, 2008 8:39 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs
screw a pony
i’m holding out for a Pegasus
I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson AND THAT'S A WINNER!
by gdm426 on Dec 25, 2008 2:32 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Whatever.
My pegasus unicorn laughs at your mere pegasus. We spend our days brushing each others’ hair.
They say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger...
by Valatan on Dec 25, 2008 6:24 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
omg
I didn’t know they made pegasus unicorn. Wouldn’t “pegasus” need to become an adjective or the “unicorn”? Like a uni-pegasus. Or combine them all liger-esque and go with a pegacorn. Either way, I want one.
by azruavatar on Dec 25, 2008 9:17 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Robots and Pegacorns
I don’t like where this is going. I thought you things needed nothing but alcohol.
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
by mattyfrommo on Dec 25, 2008 9:46 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
except from above:
Americans are faced with a historic choice this election, whether to trust the policies and partisanship that have plagued the nation, or to vote for change. At this time of crisis, the country needs a maverick, someone who isn’t a Washington insider, someone who brings youth and a vision for the future.
That’s why it’s critical to vote for the ticket of real change: Robocop on a Unicorn in ’08.
As your president, Robocop and his running mate offer a four-point plan to uphold the law, to serve the public good, to protect the innocent and (* CLASSIFIED *)
Robocop, a veteran with more than 20 years serving the public, is willing to take a stand against corporate corruption, ninjas and dangerous drugs such as Nuke.
And unlike his opponent, he was not sent back in time to kill John Connor.
While some people claim that vice presidential nominee Unicorn has little foreign policy knowledge, during her two years as governor of Narnia, she had executive experience in the state closest to Imaginationland.
With Robocop’s dedication, grit and courage and Unicorn’s magical horn, this is a ticket that can put America back on track.
So this November 4, remember to vote Robocop on a Unicorn.
They say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger...
by Valatan on Dec 25, 2008 11:58 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
and sorry to double reply to myself
but I found what I was originally looking for:
I present Robocop on a unicorn pegasus. or uni-pegasus, or whatever you would like to call her.
They say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger...
by Valatan on Dec 26, 2008 12:02 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs
And all of the seats...
Will be sold for $20 each! And free hot dogs!
The Godfather himself has decided to grace us with his presence. This is his damn house. He sleeps 20 feet away.
by thegodfather on Dec 25, 2008 1:20 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
And everybody will wear...
round, flat-brimmed straw hats with red, white, and blue ribbons tied around them.
by mynameistyler on Dec 25, 2008 1:46 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I've always wanted one of those!
this thing just keeps getting better
* sarcasm might be involved in this comment
by mattyfrommo on Dec 25, 2008 5:06 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
What's the point?
If you had tackled, say, an actual issue rather than railing against nonextistant problems you might be onto more than nothing.
Point to, say, Selig failing at his job, the Loria/Sampson along with the Minnesota rackets. Point to the business’s complete mishandling of internet distribution. The MLBTV fiasco. Drugs. Ethics.
What are you even talking about?
Space.
It's a problem we face.
So we never go anywhere.
We just stay in one place.
by hazel on Dec 25, 2008 8:10 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Holyshit
this was the funniest thing I’ve ever read. It was humor, right?
Well, I’ll be a little serious with some (what I feel) are reasonable goals.
Disolve two game series. There’s just no real need, create travel pressures and odd road trips.
Shift the bias for any divisional games past April/Early May. Fine tune before division contests, and have an equal and appropriate amount of division games with each team post deadline.
Encourage a few Saturday or Sunday double headers.
Every team should play on Memorial day, July 4th and Labor Day. No exception. Ticket sales should be loss leaders.
Don’t drop the hall of fame game.
and one I’ve always thought was a neat idea.
Have non waiver travel days for each player to play in one of the affiliate teams. I think it would do a lot to reconnect with the affiliate team’s fans and through the ML level team if they got to see their players on a more intimate level. I also think the players on the lower level would enjoy it as well. Sometimes baseball is just playing baseball.
You would have games with division teams after your settled and when your roster is year ready you would revisit those teams on an equal basis, should make trades have more impact on standings.
You would gain more days off using double headers and make a few days a year “baseball days”. The holidays would also be back to baseball days, instead of “whatever works” (only 22 teams played last Memorial day).
And while I’m sure some will bitch and complain, I wouldn’t have any issue if our players spent a single game in each of the lower levels, let Albert have fun in Memphis in a once a year game, let Springfield see Adam’s curve up and close for 5-6 innings.
Dropping the Hall of Fame game is borderline absurd, especially considering the relative proximity for quite a few teams. If we’re going to have some games overseas, we need to keep a minor tradition going.
How about no beer, we demand better beer? Remove my right to beer while I end up having to watch Joel and it won’t be a riot, I’d go mental.
One Century down, next on its way. Cardinals '09 : Preserving the Cubs tradition.
by AdjustedExpectations on Dec 25, 2008 10:27 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
now here's an idea
given his typically solid logic and humor, I can only assume that Tewk’s intent here was to create further Christmas adrenaline via off the wall suggestions…….mission accomplished
were I a rich gazillionaire mlb owner, I would begin “WTF Days” as the ole ballpark……..these unannounced promotions would be popped on the crowd at various times
- quarter beer for the next two innings
- free batting practice baseball for every kid under 15
- free hot dog for everyone
- lucky fan gets to warm up in the bullpen for no reason
- anyone kid with a disability gets a free Pujols autographed jersey
kamikaze ushers would be given advance notice to prepare and also paid extra on those days
the extra tickets sold in anticipation, the general buzz and goodwill would more than cover the relative minor cost
and a wonderful way for a rich owner to say thanks
it would be enough to make Bill Veeck smile and Bill Bidwell cringe
by Hinkster on Dec 26, 2008 11:05 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Choices, choices
Tewk had me with him for, maybe, the first two suggestions, then…huh?
Adjusted and Hinkster have some better points, imo. To me, though, the biggest complaints I have is with scheduling (as mentioned by Adjusted) and the imbalance of divisions. Divisional games should be spread evenly throughout the schedule. The Cards/Cubs (or Brewers or Astros, etc.) shouldn’t play 90% of their games either before or after the AS break. That one should be easy to fix.
The fact that the NL Central has six teams while the AL West has four is more problematic. I haven’t sat down and tried to figure this out, but I would think that, with the number of interleague games currently on the schedule, if you spread them out across the whole year, you could make the six 5-team division idea work. Of course that might eliminate the “natural rivals” idea, but that, imo, would be a further improvement.
by ArkansasTravs on Dec 26, 2008 12:20 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
This will SAVE baseball?
So two of the most successful small market teams (Minny, Oak) would be contracted, along with last year’s AL Champion (TB), an expansion team with TWO World Series Champions (Fla), and the previous year’s NL Champion (Colorado).
Something like this would alienate more fans than it would create. How would we feel if the Cardinals were contracted? Would we become fans of Kansas City or one of the Chicago teams? I find it much more likely that we’d forsake baseball and put our energy elsewhere, at least for the shortterm.
The shortened season doesn’t really affect much. I don’t know why 12 more games hurts baseball, especially since you’re advocating more days off, but also claiming the season will be shorter (if you give them more days off, you’re spreading the season out, not shortening the time.
As far as corporate and luxury boxes. Sure, there’s that impression that it’s a bunch of suits that don’t actually watch the game, but for each of the last 3 seasons, we’ve bought one game a year in one of the luxury, all-inclusive areas, and I love ‘em. We’re doing Champions Club this coming year, we’ve done Bank of America Club last year and we did Legends Club (my personal favorite) the two years before that. Those areas are sweet, and they’re also revenue streams that the team uses to improve the team.
The prohibition thing? Ha! Sillyness!
by mtalken on Dec 30, 2008 4:02 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
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