Setting the scene:
This is a word-for-word transcription of Cub Mgr. Lee Elia's press "conference" (more of a soliloquy, actually) held late in April '83 as the newly retooled Cubs stumbled out of the gate to a 5-14 record. Attendance back then was probably in the 10,000 - 15,000 range on any given day (no night baseball at Wrigley then). The Bleacher Bums were just that - bums! Thanks to their losing way, the Cubs were getting BOOED! Lee blew his stack. Beat writer tape recorders were set to "ON", and what followed was audio history.
Transcribed by Urban Pawnee  9/17/07

"I'll tell you one fucking thing. I hope we get fucking hotter than shit - just to stuff it up those 3,000 fucking people that show up every fucking day ... ... because if they're the real Chicago fucking fans, they can kiss my fucking ass right downtown - and PRINT IT!

They're really, really behind you around here ... ... my FUCKING ASS!  What the - what the fuck am I supposed to do? Go out there and let my players get destroyed every day, and be quiet about it for the nickle-dime people that show up? The motherfuckers don't even work! That's why they're out at the fucking game. They oughta go out and get a fucking job and find out what's it like to go out and earn a fucking living. 85% of the fucking world's working! The other 15 come out here. It's a fucking playground for the cocksuckers.

Rip them motherfuckers! Rip them country cocksuckers like the fucking players! We got guys busting their fucking ass, and them fucking people boo. And that's the Cubs?

My fucking ass!

They talk about the great fucking support that the players get around here. I haven't seen it this fucking year.  

I'm not here to talk about specific fucking plays. The name of the game is hit the ball, catch the ball, and get the fucking job done. Right now we have more losses than we have wins. The fucking changes that have happened in the Cub organization are MULTIFOLD!  All right, they don't show because we're five and fourteen ... ... and unfortunately that's the  criteria of them dumb fifteen motherfucking percent that come out to day baseball. The other 85% are earning a living ... ... it'll take more than a 5-13 or a 5-14 to destroy the make up of this club.

I guarantee you that. There's some fucking pros out there that wanna fucking play the game ... ... but you're stuck in the fucking stigma of the fucking Dodgers, and the Phillies, and the Cardinals, and all that cheap shit.

All these motherfucking editorials about Cey ... and the fucking, eh ... the PHILLIE-ITIS and all that shit ... it's sickening.

It's unbelievable. It really is. It's a dis-heartening fucking situation we're in right now. 5 and 14 doesn't negate all that work.

Ya got 143 fucking games left. What I'm trying to say is, "Don't rip those them fucking guys out there - rip me. You want to rip somebody, rip my fucking ass. But don't rip them fucking guys cuz they're giving everything they can give. But once we hit that fucking groove, it'll flow. And it will flow ... the talent's there. I don't know how to make it any clearer to you. I'm frustrated. I'll guarantee you I'm frustrated. It'd be different if I came here every day at 8:30 and saw a bunch of guys that didn't give a shit. They give a shit. And it's a tough National League East.

It's a tough National League - period."