IMPORTANT: The fate of my beard rests in your hands

by effin fisk on Sep 18, 2007 4:01 PM EDT

Hey Redbird faithful,

I've been lurking in the shadows a bit for the last month, not able to comment in game threads much from work. Moving from Missouri to L.A. has meant long drives and long work hours that don't lend themselves to watching too many live weekday games.

Still, I've followed the ups (occasional) and downs (numerous) this team has gone through over the past few weeks. Now, as the season draws to a close, I have an important decision to make: What do I do with myplayoffbeard?

It was almost exactly one year ago today that me and a buddy--having just polished off a six-pack of Bud Select--decided that blogging the progress of my playoff beard would be a good idea. But the blog exists for the sole purpose of following my team during the playoffs, which means it's only relevant for one month out of the year. Even then, it only works if the Cardinals make the playoffs, which isn't looking like it will happen this season. I've thought of an alternate use to keep it going until the Cardinals' next postseason appearance, but it makes me a little uncomfortable. I wanted to run it by you, my fanatical friends, before proceeding.

What if I auction off the use of my beard to one of the eight teams in the playoffs this year?

It would work like this:
1) I start an ebay auction, offering my beard's magical powers for use in the 2007 MLB playoffs.
a. Any eligible team except the Cubs. Naturally.

Rights for the beard go to the team of choice for the highest bidder.
The beard isn't shaved until that team

a. Exits the playoffs
b. Wins the World Series

What do you think?

The pros:
-I get money: Cost of living is steep out here on the West coast and I'm generally broke. Plus I just forked over some more cash to renew my hosting fees.

-It doesn't hurt the Cardinals: Since they likely won't be in the playoffs, I won't really be rooting against them.

-Statistical research: I figure a few of you will love this one. Increasing the sample size will help determine whether last year's beard actually helped, or if it was just along for the ride.

The cons:
-Betrayal: I care a lot about this silly team playing this silly game, and the last thing I would want to do is sell my soul for a few bucks. Or betray you, my fellow fans.

-It could backfire: I have no idea if anyone would pay hard-earned money to buy the rights to my beard. I highly doubt it, but am curious to find out.

-Betrayal (again): It's a big one, so it's worth two cons. After all, the beard is a superstitious act, so karma could come into play. Plus I wanted to have an even number of pros and cons.

Please vote on the poll. The results of the poll will determine my course of action in the coming weeks.

Man, I really miss watching games.

Thanks all,

effin

Poll

What will become of the playoff beard?

Do it: There's nothing you can do to help the Cardinals this year. You might as well try to make a buck or two.

40 votes

Don't do it: Selling out is not cool. Ass.

22 votes

Do it, but...: give some of the money to charity of something.

28 votes

90 votes | Poll has closed

Tweet Comment 11 comments | 0 recs |

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Comments

Oh yeah

And if you have other suggestions, this would be a good place for them. Thanks, -e

So what do I call it? An offseason beard?

by effin fisk on Sep 18, 2007 3:55 PM EDT reply actions

A suggestion

I'd suggest you'd get a bigger, and more blogworthy response, if you made it an essay contest instead of an auction.

I'd like to read a few score odes to magical scruff this month.

Of course, it won't put any money in your pockets unless you've got a sweet advertising deal.

by liam on Sep 18, 2007 4:01 PM EDT reply actions

Great idea

I voted against, but would support some kind of a contest. If you sell your facial magic to the highest bidder, your gift may abandon you. Making the other team prove its worth allows you to retain your integrity.

If you do try to sell advertising, keep it tastefull. Don't do anything tacky like put a big Hardee's down your thirdbase line. Mess with the mojo too much and you may be sorry when the Cards are in their next playoffs.

by Stanfan6 on Sep 18, 2007 5:44 PM EDT up reply actions

I say do it

Why not? If the Cards aren't in the postseason, you might as well do something to keep yourself entertained and financially engaged. Do it.

Let me get this straight...Rowand over Pujols??? Really, Tony?

by cardzfan24 on Sep 18, 2007 5:16 PM EDT reply actions

Could you grow an anti-Cubs beard?

Re-acquire Edgar Renteria

by Mr Redbird on Sep 18, 2007 5:49 PM EDT reply actions

my vote

This idea has my vote!

by cardsgirlinAR on Sep 18, 2007 8:17 PM EDT up reply actions

I love this

See, now this is an excellent idea. But how does it work? I don't shave until the Cubs are OUT of the playoffs? What if they don't make it INTO the playoffs?

Maybe there won't be rules involved. It does feel a tad negative. (I've always been more of a friendly rivalry kind of guy as opposed to a rabid Cub-hater.)

We shall see.

So what do I call it? An offseason beard?

by effin fisk on Sep 19, 2007 9:55 PM EDT up reply actions

If something goes horribly wrong

with this endeavor you just need to be sure to get rights or some of the profits to the book Goold or Hummel writes in retirement: The Curse of the Playoff Beard: Thirty Years Without a Cardinal World Series Win and Why One Man is To Blame.

(With apologies to Dan Shaughnessy.)

by jfs on Sep 18, 2007 6:29 PM EDT reply actions

You could auction it

if you're comfortable with not knowing who you're pledging your alegience to, or we could pick a team that we'll all root for. Personally (and this might make sense for you), I'd go with the Angels.

They're a local team to you right now and they're not the big name team in the area(Dodgers).
They've got great fans who are passionate about their team.
Great staduim.
If you squint really hard, they kinda look like the Cardinals.
There might be some sort of marketing angle you could devise that includes the Rally Monkey.
They're in a different league, which meant more before Bud went and screwed everything up with Interleague play, but still...we don't even compete against them normally, which sorta negates the whole betrayal thing.

Honestly, I was in SoCal this summer and attended an Angels game. Had an absolute blast. The Rally Monkey (while cheeseball in itself) is absolutley awesome. AND they're a fun team to watch, with good players to root for.

Whatever you decide, I'm hoping it's the Angels. That's the team that's gonna have my support in the playoffs, so I hope they get the beard mojo.

by Big Red on Sep 18, 2007 10:26 PM EDT reply actions

And the Cardinals

current roster includes 5 former Angels... so, it's almost like cheering for our team!

Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off

by RosevilleRedbird on Sep 19, 2007 5:23 PM EDT up reply actions

absolutely do it!

as an economist, i love the idea. it represents a chance for a Pareto-improving situation. just make sure that you don't issue any guarantees to the winning bidder.

and please be sure to post a link to the auction. i'll blog it.

by kindred on Sep 19, 2007 7:41 PM EDT reply actions