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Shelley Duncan has a little fun...

Not sure if this has been discussed, but I found it to be rather humorous.

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The whining, sappy response from the boston paper makes it even more entertaining.  'Oh, the poor kid! scarred for life.'  welcome to the most unfriendly rivalry in sports, kid.

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discussion already in process
in the game thread.

like i said over there: if any adult abused my kid's feelings this way, said adult would have to explain himself to me. and i would be skeptical.

i think picking on 10-year-olds is cowardly.

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 11:31 AM EDT reply actions  

your opinion carries
alot of weight with me, but that rivaly is so bitter. I've been to a yanks-sox game at fenway in '03.  After hearing the awful things yelled at the yanks by the sox fans (by adult and kids alike);  in the scope of things this little scenario seems like a very harmless prank.  I'll grant you, it could have been better served on an adult, who could take it more in stride. But believe me, this kid learned alot more about about (bad) manners from his fellow sox fans in the stands, than he did from Shelley Duncan.

by _pistol_ on Sep 17, 2007 11:47 AM EDT up reply actions  

I agree
I know that when I was ten, I would've thought it was awesome that player actually cared about the rivalry so much.
On with the youth movement!

by aet15 on Sep 18, 2007 1:07 AM EDT up reply actions  

Main thread
there is already a long and detailed discussion going on in the main, thread but it might be best to move it here anyway.

by StLHugo on Sep 17, 2007 11:32 AM EDT reply actions  

I think it`s funny
Man that is funny look at that poor kids face lol.
He`s not happy right now but later on down the road he`s gonna love having that autograph.
he`s gonna show it off to all his friend`s he`ll love having it.
I guarantee you if D-Lee signed Cards Suck to me  I would LOVE IT that would be so awesome.

by Calhoun on Sep 17, 2007 11:58 AM EDT reply actions  

exactly
and if the boy's mother had a sense of humor, instead of this woe-is-us response, maybe like this...  'Oh man Griffin, he got us good.  I can't wait to show this to your father.'  instead of going to the press and whining.  It's amazing how a mature response from an adult can evoke a mature response in a child.

by _pistol_ on Sep 17, 2007 12:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

I also agree
I think that this can't be looked at too harshly, it's a rivalry full of history and I think that Shelley meant it all in good fun.  Nobody has a sense of humor anymore...

by SethWestern on Sep 17, 2007 12:20 PM EDT up reply actions  

what's funny about being mean to a kid?
a 10-year-old doesn't look at the world like an adult does. you can't expect him to have a sense of humor about this.

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 1:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

Like i said before
your baseball opinions are usually dead-on... but, how old are your kids?  My 12-yr old brother is entirely capable of understanding the prank.  I know it's anecdotal, but back in Oct '04, via fedex, he recieved a plastic cardinal fitted into homemade coffin - addressed to him from my uncle or one of the chicago cousins (cubs fans).  It didn't scar my brother (2 mos short of 10). In fact, he couldn't wait to show all the rest of the family.  He got a real kick out of it, because my parents laughed and laughed.  
My point is, if the kid's Mom had chuckled, remained upbeat and explained the joke to him - instead making a beeline for the pressbox - all would be well. Given and opportunity to react like an adult, a 10 will gladly do so.  Kids take their queues from those around them.

by _pistol_ on Sep 17, 2007 1:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

pulling a prank on a niece or nephew
is a far cry from pulling a prank on some kid you don't know. i horse around w/ my nieces and nephews too --- but i know them, and they know me. i know their parents, i know where those parents draw the line.

that doesn't make it ok for me to act like an ass with every kid i happen to meet.

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

i think our perception of the
events differ.  I didn't perceive Duncan's actions as mean-spirited at all -  he was trying to be funny, i think.
regardless, the mother's actions only enabled the child as a victim.  Perhap Duncan was being mean.  In that case, then shame on him. But the mother still should have taken the high road instead of going to the press and justifying the natural reaction to fell sorry for himself.

But I bet an ebay auction and a couple thousand dollars will make this a positive experience for the lad.

by _pistol_ on Sep 17, 2007 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

Perceptions
I think what is missing in this is how all Shelley talked to the kid while signing it, that could make or break our perceptions of how it went down.

I imagined it like pistol did that he was trying to joke around and kid the kid and have fun with him and not to beat up on him.  Shelley is 28 years old, most 20 somethings love to kid around but some are complete A-Holes I think that is where it could have been taking the wrong way.

by StLHugo on Sep 17, 2007 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

His parents have to be collasal douchebags
to call a newspaper up and have him pose for frowny-face photos.

I thought it was funny, I think they are intentionally taking this the wrong way in order to start shit and get in the paper.

Cardinal fan from Washington

by JI on Sep 17, 2007 2:47 PM EDT up reply actions  

it wouldn't have been their decision
to send the photographer; that would have been the newspaper editor's call.

the photo pose wouldn't have been the parents' call either; that'd be the photographer's call.

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 11:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

This will all be much funnier
in two years, when Shelley is playing for the Sox.

by blove121 on Sep 17, 2007 1:40 PM EDT reply actions  

Shocking headline
"Pro athlete is an asshole"

by tdawg on Sep 17, 2007 2:44 PM EDT reply actions  

This is hilarious
Would I get upset if a player signed my kid's notebook like that?  Not if I sent him to, say,  the Cub's side of the field to get an autograph from one of their mediocre players.  I've read in this blog and others about this kid's feelings and this and that.  C'mon, how much does he need to be cottled here?  Has he denounced his Red Sox fanhood?  Is he having baseball nightmares?  Chances are this kid would be over it had his mom not cried to the press and made a big deal about it.

Whatever. I say congratulations.  Shelley Duncan has officially added fuel to an already volatile rivalry.  Which, by the way, is most certainly GOOD for baseball.  I can't wait to see the Yanks/Sox playoff matchup!!

by tpacardsfan on Sep 17, 2007 3:30 PM EDT reply actions  

Talk about over reacting
man, some people need to lighten up. It was a friggin joke.

And why was a Red Sox fan asking a Yankee player for an autograph anyway? I'm surprised Duncan was nice enough to acknowledge the kid in the first place.

by JShell73 on Sep 17, 2007 3:31 PM EDT reply actions  

Hilarious.
Absolutely hilarious.

by champion on Sep 17, 2007 4:05 PM EDT reply actions  

I'm inclined to believe
this whole blow-up has a lot more to do with the mom's righteous indignation than the kid's actual reaction. Don't let that frown fool you. In all likelihood this kid, like most 10 year old boys, is an absolute demon (I should preface that comment by stating that I used to be a camp counselor for ten-year old boys, one of whom--I shit you not--took an apple out of his lunch and threw it at my face as hard as he could when I wasn't looking...just for fun...I almost drop-kicked the kid into traffic). Anyway, even if the kid was hurt, he'll appreciate the autograph 1000 times more when he's older.

by matty on Sep 17, 2007 4:11 PM EDT reply actions  

Question.
...and what if we have kids who have already graduated from Ivy League colleges and STILL find situation hilarious?

by champion on Sep 17, 2007 4:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

then it's unfortunate
that you are unable to recognize the difference between writing this 'joke' to a 10 year old and an adult college graduate.  

it happens to me, i'm chuckling.  it happens to a 10 year old, it's a shitty thing to do.  

as i tell my students, "i was just joking" is not an excuse for every crappy thing that you do, regardless of intent.

by sdesserman on Sep 17, 2007 5:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

Clarification
then it's unfortunate

that you are unable to recognize the difference between writing this 'joke' to a 10 year old and an adult college graduate.  

You must not have understood my statement.  You should reread it.

as i tell my students, "i was just joking" is not an excuse for every crappy thing that you do, regardless of intent.

You're assuming what Duncan did was "crappy".  I'm glad you're using such language in front of your students.  You might be the next person in the paper if that mother has anything to say about it.

by champion on Sep 17, 2007 5:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

oh, i understood
it's your inability to understand that playing a prank on a 10 year old is not funny.  it's bullying, it's harassing.  it may have been intended as humor, but it comes off as a mean-spirited attempt to make a kid feel bad.  "insert your team here" sucks is not going to make any 10 year old laugh.

it's not a matter of taste, it's a matter of treating kids with respect.

by sdesserman on Sep 17, 2007 5:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

Nope.
it's your inability to understand that playing a prank on a 10 year old is not funny.

So the VAST majority of people who have posted on this website today who agree with me that it was a pretty funny gag by Duncan, given the context of the matter, show an "inability to understand that playing a prank on a 10 year old is not funny"?

it may have been intended as humor, but it comes off as a mean-spirited attempt to make a kid feel bad.

You're in the minority on this one and rightfully so.   Again, read the wealth of comments on this site today and you'll see that.

Lighten up.  You're overreacting.

by champion on Sep 17, 2007 6:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

The VAST majority agree with you...
So that makes it okay, I guess.

I'm not a particularly sensitive soul, nor do I think my son is particularly "fragile" but if anyone did something like that to him, I'd be livid.  There is a world of difference between pranking a 10 year old and a 28 year old.  

Are his parents overreacting?  Maybe.  But that doesn't mean Duncan wasn't being an ass.  I'm sure he thought it was funny...pro athletes are notorious for not living in the same world as the rest of us.

All that being said, you must find Bonds' mocking of Dan Peltier in front of his son hysterical.

http://deadspin.com/sports/baseball/jeff-pearlman-on-his-subject-barry-bonds-281739.php

by svengali on Sep 17, 2007 7:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

True, but...
But that doesn't mean Duncan wasn't being an ass.

...that doesn't mean he WAS being an ass, either.  

by champion on Sep 17, 2007 8:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

Question.
Darn, no autographs for your lil' tykes...

by champion on Sep 17, 2007 8:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

my son
is only 8 months, so it's hard for me to imagine that but i wouldn't want to deal with his disappointment from some guy trying to be funny but really is being a jerk. honestly, at first i thought it was sorta funny, but it's the kid's first game and he doesn't need some stranger giving him a hard time, especially a ballplayer. i don't think shelley was using his head.  

by erik on Sep 17, 2007 5:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

By the time my kid's 10,
I hope s/he isn't a fragile flower. And I hope s/he doesn't ask for autographs from Cubs reserves, either.

by baw on Sep 17, 2007 5:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

they're all fragile at 10
partic around adults who they look up to.

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 5:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Agree.
they're all fragile at 10

partic around adults who they look up to.

You're right.  His mother did the child a disservice by overreacting.

by champion on Sep 17, 2007 6:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

wait, so
lboros, are you saying the autograph wouldn't have been so despicable if the kid had a less militant mother? if so, how is that shelley's fault?

by baw on Sep 17, 2007 6:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

The context of the event is everything
Geez its just a joke.  And the Ebay comment was dead on.  This just took a Shelley Duncan signature that was worth nothing and now makes it the starter to a college fund.  And if not, the kid has a story to tell, an autograph story like no other.  And I doubt the kid turns to drugs or ends up homeless because of the situation.

Even if it was meant poorly, the kid is going to be find, and the joke's on Duncan...but I doubt he was being mean.  Why would he go through the trouble of signing the kid's paper, on the road in hostile territory where he likely signed many other autographs as well, if he simply wanted to be an asshole to this one kid?  

Unlikely...although it speaks to how bad the Cardinals are if on September 17th we are talking about this instead of an upcoming series.  When does the hot stove start???

Let me get this straight...Rowand over Pujols??? Really, Tony?

by cardzfan24 on Sep 17, 2007 5:35 PM EDT reply actions  

good grief
the only reason this is a story is because its yankees vs red sox. if a dback outfielder did this to a padre fan no one would give two shits about it. besides, when did our society start taking every little thing so seriously? it's obviously a joke. any one how knows the DUNKs know they are pranksters. he said he was joking, yet the mom went all crazy and overreacted.

good freakin grief. lighten up people.

why is this even a topic?

I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson And That's A Winner!

by gdm426 on Sep 17, 2007 6:51 PM EDT reply actions  

somebody has to explain something to me
when jose reyes dances in the dugout, this board will get 15 indignant comments about what a classless jerk reyes is.

same thing if zambrano mouths off at a cardinal batter; or if an espn commentator says a disparaging word about the cardinals; or if an announcer from san diego makes a crack about hillbillies in camaros; or if a commenter at Bleed Cubbie Blue says something bad about our team or our fans.

things of that nature make people around here very angry and offend their sensibilities. but nobody gets angry when a player, in a clumsy attempt to be funny, effectively disses a 10-year-old boy to his face? everybody thinks that's funny?

it just seems, you know, inconsistent with the reactions people have around here in other situations.

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 10:08 PM EDT reply actions  

He wrote "Red Sox suck"
not "You Suck!"

And I don't really get offended by any of that other stuff.

Basically all this is is the boy's parents being media whores and pimping themselves out a newspaper in order to have some facetime. What type of awful people does it take to get in the position where they are calling up a freakin' newspaper, and having their kid pose for frowny-face pictures.

As far as as I'm concerned, this is a non-incident, and the boy's parents are causing more harm to their child that Duncan could have possibly inflicted even if he wrote: "You are pathetic douchebag and I hate you, signed Shelly Duncan."

Cardinal fan from Washington

by JI on Sep 17, 2007 10:52 PM EDT up reply actions  

i understand what he wrote
i'm just observing that various iterations of "cardinals suck," communicated to adult eyes/ears in a distant, non-personal way, get many VEB posters extremely riled up.

that being the case, maybe a parent's not so out of line to get riled up when the comment "red sox suck" is hand-delivered to her red-sox-loving kid directly from a ballplayer.

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

All I'm saying is
don't get rilled up by idiots.

To quote Jeff at Lookout Landing:

"I don't understand this. The kid was at a Sox/Yankees game. He was basically going to have his virgin ears raped for four hours whether he got the hilarious autograph or not."

For his parent to make a story out of this and whore their child out is hypocritical at best. Dude's got way bigger problems.

Cardinal fan from Washington

by JI on Sep 17, 2007 11:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

i think jeff misses the point
in nearly every form of warfare, kids are considered noncombatants. just because they happen to be in the war zone, it doesn't make them fair game.

duncan took a potshot at a kid and deserved to be called out for it. i wouldn't have run to the press, but i have no problem w/ the parents for having done so.

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

I have sympathy for the kid
because his parents seem to have serious problems, as evidenced by this news story. They are obviously not thinking of their child's well being if they are willing to put him in the newspaper-- not only putting him in the newspaper but making him appear to be weak socially.
Cardinal fan from Washington

by JI on Sep 17, 2007 11:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

Not Once.
Not once have I been even slightly outraged at any of the examples you listed.  The crack from the San Diego announcer WAS pretty funny.  BCB has made some VERY funny jokes at the expense of my fellow Cardinals fans.

It just seems, you know, consistent with the reaction I've had around here in other situations.

by champion on Sep 17, 2007 11:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

got any more stories about
that kid you raised and sent to the ivy leagues, champ? you must've been quite a dad.

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 11:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

I don't see
how that is an appropriate response.  Seems uncalled for.  Why is this ridiculous story causing so much division in this forum?
Let me get this straight...Rowand over Pujols??? Really, Tony?

by cardzfan24 on Sep 17, 2007 11:49 PM EDT up reply actions  

i responded that way
because i strongly suspect that champion is doing a little internet role-playing . . . .

by lboros on Sep 17, 2007 11:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wrong.
I strongly suspect you have no clue what you're talking about.

by champion on Sep 18, 2007 12:03 AM EDT up reply actions  

Nope.
that kid you raised and sent to the ivy leagues, champ? you must've been quite a dad.

It was a hypothetical question.  You must be quite the parent.

by champion on Sep 18, 2007 12:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

i'm not insecure about my parenting
but it was far from clear that you were posing a hypothetical. you seemed to be implying that you were the parent of an ivy-league graduate

by lboros on Sep 18, 2007 12:17 AM EDT up reply actions  

and if you're merely posing a hypothetical
what value does it add to the discussion? i mean, i could add all sorts of make-believe characters to the discussion too; would that make my argument any stronger?

by lboros on Sep 18, 2007 12:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

Equal.
My hypothetical question was to see what the answer would be.  I was curious to find out.

by champion on Sep 18, 2007 12:26 AM EDT up reply actions  

Response.
If not insecure, perhaps too passive-aggressive about this matter?  Just curious.

I made it clear earlier today that I do not have children of my own.  You replied directly to the post where I stated that.  Your reply in this thread within the past half hour was not acceptable according to your own guidelines.  You attacked me personally and not my ideas.  For that, you should be held accountable by the community.

by champion on Sep 18, 2007 12:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

so file a complaint
with the community board. . . . . if you catch me breaking the rules three times, i'll be thrown off my own blog!!

keep at it, champ.

by lboros on Sep 18, 2007 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions  

Rules.
keep at it, champ.

I'm pointing out your rules which you have clearly disregarded tonight.   Thanks for proving this to be true.

by champion on Sep 18, 2007 12:28 AM EDT up reply actions  

and if you run to the community board
to seek redress for the offense you took, then how are you any different from the 10-yr-old bosox fan w/ the hurt feelings?

i'm not going to get into a pointless argument about which rules you think i broke. the relevant point is that this is not a democracy. it's my website.

by lboros on Sep 18, 2007 12:37 AM EDT up reply actions  

*sigh*
i'm not going to get into a pointless argument about which rules you think i broke.

...yet you did.  

Have a great evening!

by champion on Sep 18, 2007 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions  

and really --- where's the attack?
since you and i both you you're not a dad, i don't see how it constitutes an attack.

by lboros on Sep 18, 2007 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

Taunts.
since you and i both you you're not a dad, i don't see how it constitutes an attack.

Ok, so you knew I wasn't a parent yet you still left a condescending message.  Snark, attacks, taunts, baiting...

but we learn nothing --- and you make yourself look stupid --- when you simply taunt your adversary or call him names.

:)

by champion on Sep 18, 2007 12:32 AM EDT up reply actions  

where does it end, champ?
you're getting nowhere. nobody cares but you. how long will you keep it up?

by lboros on Sep 18, 2007 12:38 AM EDT up reply actions  

By
implying that you were a parent, and then later admitting that you weren't, you were actually the first baiter.  You seem to enjoy stirring the pot on this website.  

by spants on Sep 18, 2007 12:42 AM EDT up reply actions  

Good Evening.
implying that you were a parent, and then later admitting that you weren't, you were actually the first baiter.

My hypothetical question was hardly baiting.  It's  a stretch to even consider it misleading.  

You seem to enjoy stirring the pot on this website.

I do?  That's news to me.

by champion on Sep 18, 2007 12:50 AM EDT up reply actions  

I think the fact
that you kept pointing out the overreaction of those who didn't share your position is baiting.  What is the point in doing this?  You were harsh in your tone when dealing with those who didn't share your position.  Ending a post with a smiley face or a "cheers" doesn't mean you're posting in good faith.  It would behoove you to play nice and just drop the matter because in not dropping it, you're overreacting just as much over a lot less.

by spants on Sep 18, 2007 1:04 AM EDT up reply actions  

Good Advice
When you have a difference of opinion with another member of the community: attack the opinion, not the person. a guy isn't an idiot simply because he disagrees with you. if you think flawed logic, faulty premises, and/or factual errors underlie his opinion, point those things out; try to persuade him (and the rest of us) that your view of things makes more sense. the entire community can learn a lot from that type of exchange. but we learn nothing --- and you make yourself look stupid --- when you simply taunt your adversary or call him names. flame wars will not be tolerated.

by champion on Sep 18, 2007 12:09 AM EDT up reply actions  

Wanted to stay out of this, but...
My first reaction was that it was just a funny joke between Dunc and the kid. I couldn't imagine anyone decent doing something like that without first establishing the rapport to make it understood that it's all in fun. I assumed Duncan's a decent fellow and so he and the kid had a joke that the parents didn't appreciate and things spun out of control.

If Shelley had just scribbled that onto an unsuspecting kid's notebook, then yeah, it was a boorish, mean-spirited act that he ought to be ashamed about having committed.

In any case, like I said this morning, he ought to get in touch with the reporter to arrange for a delivery of an autographed bat with a personalized message and a thoughtful letter to the kid and an apologetic one to his parents. (He could have Papelbon arrange it.)

If things are as I assume them to be, then it's different from a player acting like ass during a game, disrespecting the other team and its fans.

by liam on Sep 18, 2007 12:55 AM EDT up reply actions  

WOW, this got out of hand fast
its clear this topic struck a cord with our fearless leader. i guess if you have kids this is a bigger deal. i'll be 30 next month, i'm painfully single with no kids. and i dont ever plan on having kids. but i do have two nephews, age 3&2. and if i take them to a MLB game in a few years and they want to get some players autograph i hope it will be a good experience for them. if they have a interaction like the one this kid had with shelley did over the weekend, i would hope they would take it as the joke it was ment to be, and not get all upset about it.

honestly i just dont see how this is an issues. but then again i'm not a parent of young kids. maybe i'd feel differently if i was, but i'm not. i thought it was funny. i get the joke shelley was trying to pull. and i dont think it was wrong for him to do it on a 10 yr old red sox fan. i'm really shocked this has gotten such a strong response from many here.

i guess thats why i dont look at it like big z taking shots at a Cards player, or bleed cubbie blue taking shots at us, or reyes dancing around like a spaz on the diamond taunting the other team. those are adults taking shots at other adults. where as i see this as an adult playing around with a kid. and there shouldn't be any problems with that. this was susposed to be a harmless prank. and i just dont understand how it's gotten blown up so much and pissed off so many here.

this was a joke people. a harmless, good natured joke.

I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson And That's A Winner!

by gdm426 on Sep 18, 2007 12:58 AM EDT reply actions  

i appreciate your
thoughtfulness on age/parenting.  i'm pretty sure that my reaction would have been different before kids.  i was out of town a couple of summers ago rooming with a friend who also has a young child.  We were flipping around the channels and stopped for a moment on one of HBO's late night (soft-core porn) documentaries.  he doesn't have cable at home and was astonished to find that this degree of nudity was available on t.v.  he remarked that as he (and his daughter) got older, he got more conservative.  i have certainly found the same to be true of myself as my kids get older.

i guess that it comes down to your last line.  many of us (with kids) don't see the joke as necessarily harmless or good natured...

by sdesserman on Sep 18, 2007 7:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

thats exactly what i was trying to say
a single guy in his late 20's does not see the harm in this. while parents do. i think parents forget how hard it is for single people, especially guys, to carry on conservations with and to hang out with young children. i'm speaking from experience here, we really dont know how to talk to kids most of the time. we have little in common with them. we get nervious around them because if we say the wrong thing, it can be very very bad.

like here. i know duncan didn't mean any harm, yet a lot of parents got really angry about it. us single guys just flat out say the wrong things around kids some times. and its hardly ever intentional or melicious. we dont mean to, and when we try to apologise parents dont really believe us. it really is a catch 22 for us. thats why most of us just avoid kids all together just so we are no accused of saying the wrong thing.

i really wish parents would cut us some slack instead of going off on us when we say or do something like duncan did. seriously, we mean you and you kids no harm.

I'm going to go try to find a puppy and kick it. - Brad Thompson And That's A Winner!

by gdm426 on Sep 18, 2007 8:21 PM EDT up reply actions  

Bad on Duncan
Generally speaking, I gree with the sentiment expressed above: if you take a kid into a Red Sox-Yankee game, you are bringing him into war. This "kids are noncombatants" argument is horseshit, if the parents volunteer their presence. He will have been fully inducted into screaming "Yankees suck!" at the top of his lungs, drowning out the Yankee fans in attendance, there to yell the opposite.

I have personal experience with this with my daughter, who is six and was born in Berkeley. We vacationed out there earlier this year, her first time back since she was a tot, and caught an Athletics-Yankees game, which is as vicious as a baseball rivalry gets out there. A lot of transplanted New Yorkers plus the usual Oakland rowdies makes it so, and their recent playoff history and massive payroll disparity make it more so. My little girl, who is a Cardinal fan first and now an A's fan second, made it a point to yell "Let's go Oakland" at the top of her lungs, merely to outshout two boys behind us, ages eight and ten. This while three or four fights were broken up and pugilists ejected from the stands around us. It was the most engaged she's ever been at a baseball game, and I found it much easier to keep her interested in the balls and strikes than at any Cardinal game we've attended.

Rivalry brings the full spirit of the games into the stadium. It's fun for kids to be exposed to that, and to feel as though they are rooting for their own team and against the rival team. It helps them create a localized identity.

That said, Shelley Duncan has been a fan for a lot longer than he's been a professional ballplayer in the bigs, and he has no idea what the fuck he's doing. It's a hazy line, but he crossed it for sure by making it "personal" with this kid. And it's something that no one in the Yankee pantheon would ever cop to doing. Not even to a Sox fan's son.

At this age, there's little difference between the identity of the child and the jersey he or she is wearing, and to be an adult and tell a kid that age to their face that their team sucks, it's little different from telling them that they suck. Once kids get into their teens and develop a hard shell of irony, it might be different. But you can see for yourself in the kid's photo how young he is, and how much that jersey means to him.

by taiko on Sep 18, 2007 1:06 AM EDT reply actions  

taiko, i think the end of your post
reinforces the point about kids as noncombatants. the examples you gave ---- kids screaming "Let's go A's" --- isn't combat; that's rooting for your team, which is what it's all about. i mean, kids yell "let's go A's" at every A's game.

"combat" is when you walk up to the guy in the enemy jersey in the beer line and start talking shit about all the problems his team has, and how many more championships your team has won than his team, etc etc.; it's verbal sparring. you don't involve 10-year-old kids in that type of activity (unless the kid starts it, in which case he's got it coming), for the very reason that you articulated so well in your post: the kid's still immature and still vulnerable. he doesn't have a fully formed identity or set of emotional capacities.

we may differ over semantics --- i don't define "Let's Go A's" as combat, while you do --- but i think we agree about why duncan's joke was not well received.

by lboros on Sep 18, 2007 1:34 AM EDT up reply actions  

I disagree, but mildly
To those kids, my daughter and those boys, the cheering and yelling was "combat." While it was on relatively polite terms, there was no question about who was on what side. They were not bystanders of any kind - they were as involved as they knew how to be.

The difference is a question of what adults will put up with, and consider appropriate discourse for "combat" in the stands, versus what they think kids should be introduced to. And if you're sketchy on that at all as a parent, you simply should not bring your kids to these fever-pitch games. I mean, come on. Yankees-Red Sox in September, with the AL pennant on the line?

That's where I have a problem with the "kids as noncombatants" argument. If you want them to stay innocent and uninvolved, do not bring them into a situation where they are encouraged to do the opposite, and then moan about the consequences.

by taiko on Sep 18, 2007 1:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

innocent doesn't = uninvolved
i do want them involved in the game --- and if they want to hate the other team and cheer that much harder for their own team, fine. no problem; that's healthy and good for the kid, as you describe. they can and should be as involved as they want.

what's not healthy for kids is the face-to-face taunting and sparring that goes on in the stands --- what i'm defining as combat. kids should not be participants in that; obviously, they are going to see it going on around them, but they shouldn't be targets of it. you let them watch, you point it out as undesirable behavior; you teach them where the line is, and how not to cross it. duncan crossed the line with the kid, which is where he erred.

a kid should be able to come to the ballpark, become immersed in the game and the rivalry, yet still remain "innocent" --- ie, protected from the sort of combat adults engage in.

by lboros on Sep 18, 2007 1:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

then we are arguing semantics
We agree that Duncan was in the wrong, basically for treating the kid as though he had the sensibility and maturity of a fellow adult.

On a side note, it's really funny watching my daughter try to parse the usage of the word "sucks." She knows that the Cubs suck and she fully embraces the concept, but she's confused by the events of this weekend (and what she's overheard from my wife and me), because the Cardinals REAAAALLLY SUCK right now.

Adding fuel to the fire, so do the fucking Rams.

by taiko on Sep 18, 2007 2:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

very touchy subject
i will start my post by admitting i have no children, but i still think a childless person can have an opinion as well

first, one thing none of us know is, as spants says, what the interaction duncan had with the kid, in fact was there any interaction except the autograph itself?

second, duncan is someone who has been around baseball his entire life, and i am talking major league baseball here, his dad has been a big league coach since, i believe, before shelley was born, so he should know what it is like to sign autographs, he should know how to treat a kid, so unless there was more evidence that there was a reason for him to be joking like that with the kid, he just shouldnt have done it

third, as far as larry saying he would have had issue if it were his kid, i would be surprised to hear a father say different, unless there was more to the interaction, and the father witnessed it, to me that would be a good fathers reaction

fourth, this site is the domain of larry, if you dont like the site, dont come back, larry has the right to tell you to shut up if he feels you are trolling, and leave it at that

fifth, if i was a father, and a player did that to my kid, with no other interaction, we would have issues

lastly, i think something a bit like this was one of the biggest regrets of roger maris' 1961 season

Pujols is the greatest Cardinal in my lifetime.

by bigcardsfan5 on Sep 18, 2007 1:31 AM EDT reply actions  

That escelated quickly.
Well, let's go to the old mill anyway -- get some cider!

by Alxfritz on Sep 18, 2007 1:57 AM EDT reply actions  

i killed a man
i stabbed him in the heart with a trident.

by sdesserman on Sep 18, 2007 7:03 AM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that.
You should really think about finding a safe house or staying at a relative's house because you are probably wanted for murder.
Let me get this straight...Rowand over Pujols??? Really, Tony?

by cardzfan24 on Sep 18, 2007 11:50 AM EDT up reply actions  

Well I missed the excitement of this thread...
But as for my two cents I think that hopefully everyone can agree that appropriatly or not, Duncan was joking.  I think a ballplayer doing it seriously would refuse to sign for a Sox fan, such as this spring training when I witnessed Sammy Sosa refuse to sign an autograph of a picture a kid had of him when he was with the Iowa Cubs on a rehab assignment.

He refused to sign anything of himself wearing a cubs autograph.

I also remember going to a cards braves game as a kid and hearing Ron Gant's answer to a request...
"$25"

To me, these are the real jerks, and the actual people leaving scars on children going up to their heroes for signatures.

Duncan was TRYING to play along, successful or otherwise, and if the joke didn't land (like many in my life) this wasn't so serious effect that he needs to be chastised for it.

The kid has a shelly duncan autograph, and years from now he'll appreciate it.  I don't have a Gant, and the kid at the game earlier this year doesn't have a sosa, only the bad memories of it.  

Therefore if this is a scar I imagine it will be temporary and probably only at Duncan or the Red Sox themselves.  Knowing Steinbrenner this kid just earned himself a signed team ball, and a Yankees Yacht.

I also suspect that this isn't the first kid to receive such a message from Duncan, only the first we've heard about, which would tend to mean that the reactions he had gotten previously would have caused positive reinforcement.  After all, most people stop doing something the first time it causes unintentional pain.

He'll be O.K.  This is very minor on the list of athlete fouls.  This isn't Vince Coleman throwing a firecracker.

Or it could be on purpose and he could be a jerk, and this ten year old can grow up hating those who are priviledged, I guess my point is I can't see how such a relatively minor event in the course of good and evil around sports has spurred such a debate.

by bretsyboo on Sep 18, 2007 6:36 AM EDT reply actions  

Agreed
I was really surprised to see all the anger this story stirred up.

by Ray Lankford on Sep 18, 2007 3:37 PM EDT up reply actions  

let's not forget...
that after all the press this has received, that kid can Ebay that autograph for a couple grand probably.
Miller sucks.

by Ankiels Missing Curveball on Sep 18, 2007 4:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

I do not have any children...
but man, the overreaction to this is priceless. Maybe I'll feel differently when I have children, but I very much doubt it.

The only thing I could understand getting upset about, is if the parents were against the use of the word "sucks" in a derogatory manner, as I know some parents are.

Miller sucks.

by Ankiels Missing Curveball on Sep 18, 2007 12:41 PM EDT reply actions  

Wow
when did this blog become the Post-Dispatch message board? This is ridiculous.

As some posters have pointed out, nobody in the public has all of the facts relating to this situation. We don't know whether the kid was smack-talking sarcastically with Duncan, or what he asked for in the autograph. Hell, he may have asked for Duncan to sign it that way. Maybe he meekly asked for an autograph and Duncan cruelly intended to be hurtful. Maybe he was like "Get out of my way, Tiny Tim, your crippled ass is cramping my style!" ('Albert Bell' said that in a spoof commercial I heard once). Maybe Duncan laughed at the kid and made him cry. We don't know.

Some people here will go to great lengths to justify something done by a Cardinals player (or in this case a relative of two Cardinals). Some of us, though we wouldn't admit it, have lingering bitterness over the '04 world series, and may tend to find humor in this story from that perspective. Others seem, in their zeal to appear objective, go to the other extreme and condemn it (I've seen that on this board sometimes on other topics as well - it's hard to mix objectivity with fanhood).

I have kids, too, and I hope that when they're 10 they like baseball enough to wear their team colors and ask for autographs. Can I tell you now whether I'd be upset with a player for signing an autograph in this manner for my children? No, I can't. Not without knowing more. I have to agree with lboros that my initial response would be skepticism, but I think that's natural. If the circumstances were right, I might laugh, with my kids, and with the player. I hope this doesn't subject me to personal attacks and having my parental sincerity or legitimacy called into question.

All I'm saying is that there appears to be little reason on this particular issue and a lot of emotional reaction, something I usually don't expect here. Let's not let a lost season turn our favorite fan forum into an emotional fracas.

by lawman3842 on Sep 18, 2007 4:07 PM EDT reply actions  

it's inappropriate, but....
What Shelly Duncan did was inappropriate, but at the same time, intent IS important in something like this.  If he was trying to make a joke, which he obviously was, then it's not like it's that big of a deal.

I understand lb's points about kids being vulnerable, because I'm a teacher and teach kids only a few years older than this kid, and they're almost as vulnerable still as H.S. freshmen as the middle schoolers I've worked with in the past.

At the same time, just as many others have said, including lawman right before me, we don't know all the story here.  

My overall take is that this is simply something that was overblown because it is two of the largest media markets, with a huge baseball rivalry between them, and the media loves reporting on anything Sox/Yanks related to sell some extra papers.

If a person's ability to talk to their child about someone messing with them is so limited that this kid is scarred for life, then that's problematic moreso than the actual autograph itself.

by mtalken on Sep 19, 2007 5:38 PM EDT reply actions  

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