Dear Diary,

So I'm driving today and I turn the station to Commerce, er, I mean, Christmas music because the insane traffic in and out of Wal-Mart infused me with thoughts of peppermint sticks, hot cocoa, and fat elves in black leather rocking out to the best carol ever ) http://video.aol.com/video/music-run-dmc-christmas-in-hollis/1116412).

I love Christmas.  The giving.  The getting.  The guy ringing the bell 2 inches from your ear and giving you a dirty look when you don't put anything in the kettle.  I especially like the consideration others give as they hip check you in line with their Belliard-like buttocks, or flash you that oh-so-sexy armpit as they reach for the peppermint bark on the top shelf.  The Cardinal's plan to sell their ticket packages over the holiday season (http://www.stubhub.com/st-louis-cardinals-tickets/?event_id=516242).

That got me thinking.  What should we, as the Viva El Birdo's nation, get our favorite Cardinals and sports figures for Christmas?  

Here's my thoughts:

1.    Tony LaRussa:  Too many to list.  Leave that up to you. I'll take the obvious "mean" one though - "A breathalyzer"  bah duh bump.
2.    Stan the Man:  Another 15 years Opening Days in the sun.
3.    Mozeliak:  Something he could use to stand up to Tony...oh, yeah - Balls.
4.    Czar Izturis: A bat without a hole in it.
5.    Albert Pujols:  A supporting cast.
6.    The Card's medical staff:  http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-4545-Operation/dp/B00000DMFM
7.    Yadier Molina:  http://www.amazon.com/Faster-Higher-Springbak-Athletic-Speedsoles/dp/B00078VZQ8

I leave the rest up to you kind hearted elves (wearing leather, perhaps?) of the VEB nation... apologize b/c I can't do the "cool guy" links...