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A Cardinal Christmas...

by bukowski on Dec 11, 2007 7:32 PM EST

Dear Diary,

So I'm driving today and I turn the station to Commerce, er, I mean, Christmas music because the insane traffic in and out of Wal-Mart infused me with thoughts of peppermint sticks, hot cocoa, and fat elves in black leather rocking out to the best carol ever ) http://video.aol.com/video/music-run-dmc-christmas-in-hollis/1116412).

I love Christmas. The giving. The getting. The guy ringing the bell 2 inches from your ear and giving you a dirty look when you don't put anything in the kettle. I especially like the consideration others give as they hip check you in line with their Belliard-like buttocks, or flash you that oh-so-sexy armpit as they reach for the peppermint bark on the top shelf. The Cardinal's plan to sell their ticket packages over the holiday season (http://www.stubhub.com/st-louis-cardinals-tickets/?event_id=516242).

That got me thinking. What should we, as the Viva El Birdo's nation, get our favorite Cardinals and sports figures for Christmas?

Here's my thoughts:

1.    Tony LaRussa: Too many to list. Leave that up to you. I'll take the obvious "mean" one though - "A breathalyzer" bah duh bump.
2.    Stan the Man: Another 15 years Opening Days in the sun.
3.    Mozeliak: Something he could use to stand up to Tony...oh, yeah - Balls.
4.    Czar Izturis: A bat without a hole in it.
5.    Albert Pujols: A supporting cast.
6.    The Card's medical staff: http://www.amazon.com/Hasbro-4545-Operation/dp/B00000DMFM
7.    Yadier Molina: http://www.amazon.com/Faster-Higher-Springbak-Athletic-Speedsoles/dp/B00078VZQ8

I leave the rest up to you kind hearted elves (wearing leather, perhaps?) of the VEB nation... apologize b/c I can't do the "cool guy" links...

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Comments

To Scott Rolen:

Therapy.

by Jhusk on Dec 11, 2007 9:08 PM EST reply actions

No..No...

La Russa theropy...Rolen a kind, gentle manager.

by ridgesee on Dec 11, 2007 10:43 PM EST up reply actions

To So Taguchi:

A "thank you" card.

On with the youth movement!

by aet15 on Dec 11, 2007 9:31 PM EST reply actions

In Japanese or English?

by ridgesee on Dec 11, 2007 10:45 PM EST up reply actions

ooo, good call

how about in Engrish?

On with the youth movement!

by aet15 on Dec 12, 2007 2:45 AM EST up reply actions

to aaron miles:

a pair of these

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.

by wilson on Dec 11, 2007 9:56 PM EST reply actions

well that didnt work

the link is to here:

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.

by wilson on Dec 11, 2007 10:00 PM EST up reply actions

I'm totally

going to buy some of these.

"The two most important things in life: good friends and a strong bullpen." - Bob Gibson

by birds 4 life on Dec 14, 2007 1:50 PM EST up reply actions

To Anthony Reyes

His self-confidence back. And a sinker.

by Jhusk on Dec 11, 2007 9:59 PM EST reply actions

To Tony Larussa

a Florida drivers permit and to Jim Edmunds a new big toe. Also to Chris Duncan, a road map of left field.

by ridgesee on Dec 11, 2007 10:34 PM EST reply actions

Oh, Also to La russa and Jockety

a nice Christmas card from Dan Haren

by ridgesee on Dec 11, 2007 10:39 PM EST reply actions

i bet they get one

from billy beane... and mark mulders agent.

Christmas lights are an extremely efficient method for converting Christmas Spirit into heat. -anon

by SleepyCA on Dec 12, 2007 1:02 AM EST up reply actions

THAT..

THAT is more likely!

Trade for Sean Rodriguez! (But please dont call him S-Rod!)

by cardschinmusic on Dec 12, 2007 6:58 AM EST up reply actions

to david eckstein

a job.........somewhere.

by Crentist on Dec 12, 2007 1:20 AM EST reply actions

May Dave Duncan

hear a voice from Heaven that gives instruction that not all pitchers have to be "pitch to contact pitchers and that two seam four seam are both good in the eyes of God."

by ridgesee on Dec 12, 2007 10:28 AM EST reply actions

And that same voice tells him that the

official scorer still records an out whether the ball is fielded on the ground or caught in the air.

For LaRussa some alphabet flash cards

For Juan E. a return to normal vision

For Thompson a removal of all small animals within kicking distance

For Rolen and LaRussa some Rockem Sockem Robots to work out their differences

For Reyes a box a kleenex to wipe his eyes when he learns the Cards still hold an option on him

To Eckstein and Taguchi a thank you, good bye and good luck.

by jillsinmo on Dec 12, 2007 8:57 PM EST up reply actions

Add

Miles to the "thank you" list. Those Rock'em Sock'em Robots might be the best gift on the list.

by cardsgirl95 on Dec 13, 2007 8:47 AM EST up reply actions

Yes, Miles too....

Thank you, good bye, and good luck. I didn't include him because I didn't learn he was non tendered until this morning.

by jillsinmo on Dec 13, 2007 5:41 PM EST up reply actions

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