Another day in the life of new Card GM John Mozeliak
Arrived in the office this morning to find Miguel Cairo furiously doing one-armed push-ups on my desk........gotta get better security around here
Log on to VEB for new ideas........what is "pitch to contact"?.......how you pronounce azruavator?.....what does VORP mean?......what if lboros is really Luhnow?
Call Albert to see if he needs anything delivered to his home today
Check the medical report....no change....man, these injured pitchers have it made....don't lift a finger for a year and still get paid (alot more than me)....gotta get me some of that action
Doctor calls to see if I am still having those nightmares about Purpura and DePodesta
Check ESPN FA tracker for shortstops.....looks like its Eckstein or..........maybe Barry Larkin.....think briefly about Miguel Cairo
Take call from the Marlins....they are ready to move Cabrera for Rolen....plus Duncan, Reyes, Rasmus, Anderson, Garcia, some cash and a new stadium
Read 5 page report from Luhnow telling me that Miles is batting .373 against left-handers over six feet tall when playing under a full moon on Tuesdays in June
Crisis of the day....evidently Ernie Hays has locked himself in his stadium organ room threatening to play The Budweiser song non-stop until we promise not to play rock music between innings.....
Check the budget again.....no change.......feel like I'm shopping at Costco with a ten dollar bill for living room furniture and a new car.....is it too early for a drink?
Open Hickory Farms Holiday gift pack from agent of Wells and Maroth
Decide to take a walk for fresh air......see banner hanging from Arch that reads, "Please hire me! Miguel Cairo"..............I need personal security
Duck into a bar for lunch......no one recognizes me.....getting lonely, I tell the bartender that I'm John Mozeliak....he doesn't believe me and asks me to pay for the beer upfront
See Whitey and Trader Jack McKeon drinking at the end of the bar.....they tell me they feel sorry for me but not to worry because I'm competing against morons like Dusty Baker and Wayne Krivsky
Back to the office......feeling a bit more confident and thinking about trading with the Reds
Look in the mirror in my private bathroom and think, "By golly, Mom's right. I am not a puppet and I can do this job! I will show them!" Just a quick prayer before I hit the phones again......."Dear God, I am so thankful that Chris Antonetti bought my line about this job being impossible. Now please make it possible."